I'm not sure if my girlfriend still loves me

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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My girlfriend says she is obsessed with me and that she loves me more that anyone but I'm starting to wonder if mabey she only loves the attention I give her. For many reasons such as the lack of love she shows, she won't do anything for me and never wants sex.

She never shows me affection, she often says she is too tired to even kiss me for too long, she never goes up to hug me or hold my hand. She says her love language is quality time but whenever we are together she sleeps or is too warm and I need to get off her. It makes me feel like the relationship is very one sided and she doesn't care for me.

She also never does anything for me and by that I mean little things as I never ask much of her. I would do anything for her and she knows that but even when I ask her to wear a dress or skirt on dates she refuses and wears jeans instead. She also rarely compliments me even though I shower in compliments all the time. Even when it comes to watching movies she will never watch what I want to even thought I will watch girly movies she wants to.

And the part that hurts me the most, the sex side of things. In her previous relationship she was very horny and initiated sex alot, they had sex 2 months into the relationship (virgin before) and for the rest of the relationship they remained very sexualy active. Where as in our relationship i had to wait 5 months for a blow job and nearly a year for sex, with me asking. She says she has never felt sex and that she isn't very horny and has never been, which I know is not ture. Even things like a facial she refuses to do with me as she does not like them but did them with her previous boyfriend.

I don't know what to do, do I bring these issues up to her and if I do how fo I mention the sex side without talking too much about the ex, or is this fine? Should I break up with her? I really love her but I feel unloved and would really appreciate any advice thanks.
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the_cosmo_guy
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just ask her mate
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DevilishBoy
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Really don't want to be that guy, but let's be real here. She's definitely still getting sex...just not from you. All the signs are there from what I can tell in your post.

You should dump her and move on. Sounds like she doesn't respect you at all and you deserve better than her.
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Anonymous #2
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She's cheating on you
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Kabzzzy
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I don't think it's right to slander her as she's obviously not here to defend herself. BUT regardless of that, she is not reciprocating what you do for her, nor does it sound like you're very happy in this relationship. You deserve to have someone who will share your sentiments of a relationship, but to do that you will need to dump and move on.
It's sounding a bit like what you give her is convenient for whatever needs she has, but she's not particularly interested in making sure your needs are met. That's not a healthy relationship, and at this point it's just being dragged out.
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riamarnie
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it seems like she is not sexually attracted to you (and is disputed by you) but there may be other reasons so maybe you should just communicate with her and understand her side before assuming
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Gavin2016
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(Original post by Kabzzzy)
I don't think it's right to slander her as she's obviously not here to defend herself. BUT regardless of that, she is not reciprocating what you do for her, nor does it sound like you're very happy in this relationship. You deserve to have someone who will share your sentiments of a relationship, but to do that you will need to dump and move on.
It's sounding a bit like what you give her is convenient for whatever needs she has, but she's not particularly interested in making sure your needs are met. That's not a healthy relationship, and at this point it's just being dragged out.
I agree with this.

OP we don't really know what's behind all of this. We can guess, she could be cheating, you might not be good in bed with her, or she may have health issues with sex, she may not be sexually attracted to you, etc, etc. Some of those guesses may not feel great to you nor likely anyone.

End of the day she needs to come clean if she wishes the relationship to continue. For some reason she seems to wish the relationship to continue, why we don't know, that's likely easier for you to answer. Some girls like messing guys around playing different guys etc or could be any number of other reasons - she likes guys from wealthy families, she struggles to get bf's and fears it ending, she likes you personally but not sexually, etc, etc.

If she's not willing to be straight with you when talking to her about this and you can't figure it out then moving on anyway may be best but up to you of course. Many people stay stuck in relationships going nowhere because they fear being single & loneliness, could be as simple as that. Ultimately though I think that isn't good for either person, it can potentially stop you & her from finding someone they are really into instead of fumbling along in a non-relationship which never really works.
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Zarek
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Might be the request for facials. More seriously, doesn’t seem a lot in this for you. You can say you want a more loving and adventurous sex life without mentioning the ex. How do you even know about this
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JonkMoon
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(Original post by riamarnie)
it seems like she is not sexually attracted to you (and is disputed by you) but there may be other reasons so maybe you should just communicate with her and understand her side before assuming
Pretty much this, good news is you can do things to increase that. I wouldn't recommend intimacy like that before marriage, but she also doesn't seem to respect you. Work on yourself, do you go to the gym ? how is your work life ? social life ? and ignore her for a little bit, genuinely work on yourself during this time period though.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Zarek)
Might be the request for facials. More seriously, doesn’t seem a lot in this for you. You can say you want a more loving and adventurous sex life without mentioning the ex. How do you even know about this
I used to be friends with the ex while they were going out
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