Does my best friend like me?

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Anonymous #1
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Hi,

To cut a long story short, I've had this flatmate who I've liked since freshers (so about a year and a half). We've always been very close/best friends, but when I hinted I liked her last year, she said she didn't see me like that and never would so I kind of put the idea out of my head.

However, this term (ever since around February), we've grown even closer. When I'm in my room on my own, she always comes and knocks and sits down, wanting to spend a lot of alone time with me. When we've got drunk as a house, we've ended up having sex twice which was initiated by her. I know it might be only thought of as drunk sex, but I know for a fact last year (or even a few months ago) that never would have happened.

Now, when we're home, she's started messaging me almost every day and the conversations will go on for hours. This isn't something that's ever happened on this level before and it was usually always me who initiated it as I liked her of course.

She still talks about other guys openly, being on Tinder and we joke about things, but sometimes I think she says it just to gauge my reaction?

So, do you think she likes me and it's worth risking it, or is she just toying with me?

Thanks!
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Anonymous #2
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Hmmmm. This is a difficult one.

I mean I guess feelings change and she might just feel closer to you/less freedom in lockdown (if that doesn’t sound too mean) but then you say she’s rejected you before. The fact you’ve slept together and still it’s unawkward, she’s initiating conversations is positive.

I say the best step is to just let things develop naturally. If you continue sleeping together drunk, I’d have a conversation and it’s really hard to say. There’s a lot of positive signs, but maybe she just wants somebody close to her? Good luck!
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hmmmm. This is a difficult one.

I mean I guess feelings change and she might just feel closer to you/less freedom in lockdown (if that doesn’t sound too mean) but then you say she’s rejected you before. The fact you’ve slept together and still it’s unawkward, she’s initiating conversations is positive.

I say the best step is to just let things develop naturally. If you continue sleeping together drunk, I’d have a conversation and it’s really hard to say. There’s a lot of positive signs, but maybe she just wants somebody close to her? Good luck!
PRSOM
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hmmmm. This is a difficult one.

I mean I guess feelings change and she might just feel closer to you/less freedom in lockdown (if that doesn’t sound too mean) but then you say she’s rejected you before. The fact you’ve slept together and still it’s unawkward, she’s initiating conversations is positive.

I say the best step is to just let things develop naturally. If you continue sleeping together drunk, I’d have a conversation and it’s really hard to say. There’s a lot of positive signs, but maybe she just wants somebody close to her? Good luck!
Thanks for that

Yeah, I don't think I'd ever ask her out again and let it happen naturally, but it does seem to be heading in the right direction.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
PRSOM
Guess that means you agree??

And I think I will just let things play out, but would any girl really message you back and forth probably 5 days a week for 3/4 hours if she wasn't keen? Or am I overthinking that as it's just a friendly thing?
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Guess that means you agree??

And I think I will just let things play out, but would any girl really message you back and forth probably 5 days a week for 3/4 hours if she wasn't keen? Or am I overthinking that as it's just a friendly thing?
Sorry I'm hoping in like this, girl here and I think it's more than just a platonic interest. Given how low-key things currently sound though, I agree with the others about waiting and seeing if any other big developments happen before figuring it out for certain, and if not having a conversation with her again about whether she wants to change the relationship with you! That's just my insight though, good luck!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry I'm hoping in like this, girl here and I think it's more than just a platonic interest. Given how low-key things currently sound though, I agree with the others about waiting and seeing if any other big developments happen before figuring it out for certain, and if not having a conversation with her again about whether she wants to change the relationship with you! That's just my insight though, good luck!
Don't apologise for hopping in, need all the input I can get!

I really like how casual and relaxed things are at the moment, but I guess actually sleeping with each other, especially considering it happened on back to back nights could be considered as a big step, but I don't want to jeopardise that.

I'm just hesitant because before she said she doesn't see me like that, but I suppose that was a few months back and things can change. When she did text me, she said she knew I "would cheer her up", which seems a big sign. I really don't know and don't want to be hurt.
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Guess that means you agree??

And I think I will just let things play out, but would any girl really message you back and forth probably 5 days a week for 3/4 hours if she wasn't keen? Or am I overthinking that as it's just a friendly thing?
Yeah PRSOM means Please Rate Some Other Member. I tried to +1 his comment but couldn’t because I’d already repped them recently.

And yeah I agree! You don’t have enthusiastic sex with someone twice and message intensively with them if you’re not interested in them on SOME level. That’s like going to a restaurant, devouring your meal, licking the plate clean, and then being like ’’yeah I didn’t like that at all, can I have it taken off the bill?’’

Whether the sense in which she’s interested in you is romantic remains to be seen. I think it’s possible that she enjoys your company and wants you as a close friend that she sometimes has sex with, but doesn’t see it continuing in the direction of romance, marriage, etc. That’s just speculation though.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
Yeah PRSOM means Please Rate Some Other Member. I tried to +1 his comment but couldn’t because I’d already repped them recently.

And yeah I agree! You don’t have enthusiastic sex with someone twice and message intensively with them if you’re not interested in them on SOME level. That’s like going to a restaurant, devouring your meal, licking the plate clean, and then being like ’’yeah I didn’t like that at all, can I have it taken off the bill?’’

Whether the sense in which she’s interested in you is romantic remains to be seen. I think it’s possible that she enjoys your company and wants you as a close friend that she sometimes has sex with, but doesn’t see it continuing in the direction of romance, marriage, etc. That’s just speculation though.
Ah, thanks for the clarifaction!

And I guess the fact it was drunk sex could negate that though, even though you'd have to still have some of attraction to want to do it twice on consecutive drunk nights.

She might just enjoy it as she's single right now and probably knows I like her, but don't want to be used or hurt later down the line. It's tough.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for that

Yeah, I don't think I'd ever ask her out again and let it happen naturally, but it does seem to be heading in the right direction.
I think that’s the best thing to do — don’t put any pressure on it and if she comes round, it’ll happen. I’d be careful about having sex though, drunk or not, because then the lines become very blurred.
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