Transactional writing English language

Hi, could someone please provide some feedback and a rough mark/grade for this letter please. TIA

3 England Lane
London
England, UK
C34 PT7

1st June 2021

Oak Street
Oxford
England, UK
TS6 7HG

Dear Sir / Madam,

I’m contacting you today to express my interest in additional investments into a vital service in our community, public transport. Let's get straight to the point: currently the standard is horrific!

Everyday supervisors receive complaints from wrecked seating to graffitied exterior. In fact, in the last week we received over 150 complaints! This is a staggering statistic. Many people feel unsafe. This can be fixed. Investing in local transport will have many benefits.

One benefit of investing in local transportation is the jobs it creates. Renovating the train station employs: architects, builders and joiners. If you authorise funding for a new train line this will attract more tourists to Oxford, which intern creates jobs. This would lead to a healthy and rich local economy. Attracting tourists to Oxford would increase the footfall in the area. This would save the dying highstreet after the devastating impact of the Covid-19 pandemic. London District - a part of Oxford, known for its bustling pubs and shops - saw a record dip in revenue. This area was so desolate it was like an uninhabited land mass. In February, Royal Oak received £3600 in profits to nothing by April. Attempting to resolve this, they had to let employees go. Hopefully, with extra investments in transportations we can return the bleak London District into the busy bustle it once was.

Not only would it bring about economical benefits it provides people working in the local area the opportunity to use another form of transport. Thousands of people in Oxford travel from work and school everyday by car. Some dangerously shattered and in need for sleep. Everyday, they put themselves at risk and others by driving; they are tired from their long day at work. Introducing a new train line would offer them an alternative, safer option. This would reduce car accidents, which would reduce the need for any emergency services. Do you understand the benefits of transportations yet?

Increasing train services would also reduce road congestion; benefiting the world as a whole. Less cars on the road would decrease the fossil fuel emissions. Saving the planet should be the top agenda today, investing in trains - an environmentally friendlier alternative - ensures we are heading towards a healthier and greener planet. Trains are recorded to have the lowest carbon emissions out of any other transport options.

Trains are the future.

I hope after reading my letter, you understand the importance of transportation on the community. With the benefits it brings from a convenience to a greener planet. Additionally. Public transport is paramount for the local economy to be successful. In your heart you know it's right. Let's make Oxford outstanding together!

Yours Sincerely,
John Smith