Is he sexually frustrated with me?

I agree with EVERYONE above me but can’t rep them because I’ve already repped them all recently, wow!

The most problematic thing is that he isn’t respecting your boundaries at all! You have said, you want time to get over previous things, and he is being relentlessly sexual and pursuing a relationship with you when you have made clear you don’t want it. If he’s already not respecting your wishes, if you end up in a relationship he will be even worse! It seems like he’s scarcely changed at all from when he didn’t listen to you or respect your wishes before.

If he tried to control what clothes you wore when you were already boyfriend and girlfriend, I’d say, he shouldn’t do that, you can wear what you want to. And you aren’t even in a relationship! He absolutely doesn’t have a leg to stand on and seems sooo horrible and controlling.

You seem worried and preoccupied that he may be sexually frustrated with you. But that’s not your problem! He needs to control himself and stop thinking with his ****. It is not your responsibility to gratify him sexually!

Has he though?? He doesn’t seem to listen to you or respect your wishes. Wasn’t that the problem that you had before?

Indeed, he's showing this many red flags (as I've said previously) before the rs so it's hard to tell how much worse he's going to get after if you do get into a relationship with him. It is guaranteed however, that if you do get into a rs with him it's going to be bad. Real bad

Yes but earlier he wouldn't listen at all. One disagreement or something that did not go according to him and he had broken it off.

Now he hasn't been like that though he does want a relationship asap

What will get real bad??.

I agree with EVERYONE above me but can’t rep them because I’ve already repped them all recently, wow!

The most problematic thing is that he isn’t respecting your boundaries at all! You have said, you want time to get over previous things, and he is being relentlessly sexual and pursuing a relationship with you when you have made clear you don’t want it. You tell him not to touch you, and he gets upset - that is a HUUUGE red flag - he doesn’t respect your autonomy over your own body. If he’s already not respecting your wishes, if you end up in a relationship he will be even worse! It seems like he’s scarcely changed at all from when he didn’t listen to you or respect your wishes before.

If he tried to control what clothes you wore when you were already boyfriend and girlfriend, I’d say, he shouldn’t do that, you can wear what you want to. And you aren’t even in a relationship! He absolutely doesn’t have a leg to stand on and seems sooo horrible and controlling.

You seem worried and preoccupied that he may be sexually frustrated with you. But that’s not your problem! He needs to control himself and stop thinking with his ****. It is not your responsibility to gratify him sexually!

Yes but earlier he wouldn't listen at all. One disagreement or something that did not go according to him and he had broken it off.

Now he hasn't been like that though he does want a relationship asap

He has repeatedly said he wants a relationship asap which is what he always wanted before things went wrong 4 years ago

The fact that he doesn’t respect you and gets upset when you ask him not to touch you sexually is just horrendous. If he isn’t the way he was before (which to be fair you’d know better than us) he only seems differently awful.

The fact that he doesn’t respect you and gets upset when you ask him not to touch you sexually is just horrendous. If he isn’t the way he was before (which to be fair you’d know better than us) he only seems differently awful.

To respond to your thread title and reiterate a bit what I’ve already said:

He may be sexually frustrated but that isn’t your fault or your responsibility. It’s his fault for continuing to sexualise you and obsess about you when you’ve made it clear you don’t want to be with him.

He said that if we sleep together, he ll end up breaking my back as he's craved sex with me for years but never gotten it. He also said that at times, he visualized me instead of his ex gf while they did it. He seemed really upset when he said that I have no idea how long he has held this in for

No i never said I don't want to be with him. I love him and I want to be with him but told him I needed time to trust him again.

No i never said I don't want to be with him. I love him and I want to be with him but told him I needed time to trust him again.

Please read the last paragraph of your original post again without looking at it through your rose tinted glasses.
This is not an okay relationship.
These are all very much warning signs.
You shouldn’t be trusting someone like this.
He already is showing his true colours before you’re even together.

Please read the last paragraph of your original post again without looking at it through your rose tinted glasses.
This is not an okay relationship.
These are all very much warning signs.
You shouldn’t be trusting someone like this.
He already is showing his true colours before you’re even together.

He sounds really obsessive and mentally unsound - he needed to move on and he never has. Visualising someone else from your past rather than the person that you’re with is weird and more than a little exploitative of his then girlfriend.


Oh, okay. My point stands though: You are not to blame for his sexual frustration! He is just fixated on you, and it’s very reasonable to tell him you aren’t ready, and he can’t respect that.

Yes that is true. I felt like he had moved on when I first found out and saw him with his then girlfriend who was also a student at the same uni we went to (he's an alumni here) but when I met him again, he told me he wasn't able to move on completely as he always had the guilt and regrets over leaving me and his relationship wasn't really good (I kinda sensed it as the girl was very rude and snobby) which led him to keep making comparisons between me and her whenever she would create a scene or had fights with him.

I am under a lot of pressure now as I dont want to lose him. I try to make him happy but it doesn't seem like it is working until I become his gf?