Anonymous #1
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Okay so I’m going to try explain as best I can. So I’ve been with boyfriend nearly two years now , we’re also living together and expecting our own baby. I feel like it’s extremely hard to talk to my boyfriend about things I feel upset me and a main problem has been his friends and his brother. He is very close with his brother and friends, we were all really close just before I fell pregnant for the first whole year of our relationship seeing his friends/brother weekly to have a drink together and stuff we were always together. Since I’ve became pregnant none of them speak to me and they don’t really speak to him. I have realised they only want to bother when alcohol is involved and I’ve sent them all a message before (it had to be a message as none of them come to our house anymore) explaining how they are making me feel especially being pregnant they have just stopped dealing with me and my boyfriend. When I try to talk to my SO about this he gets really mad at me and pissed off and acts so immature saying that I apparently want him to argue with them when that’s not the case and I’ve told him this , I’ve cried about it to him many times because it hurts to see how people I would of called my friends and was always making them dinner etc have now just stopped speaking to me while I’m pregnant I’ve asked them have I done something wrong they have said I haven’t so I personally feel like they were only out friends when alcohol is involved. It’s been going on now for months I’ve been trying to get through to my boyfriend about how I feel about them and he is always shutting me down or justify them being disrespectful towards me. It’s pushing me away from him now because I feel he lets a lot of people disrespect me and justifys it or he’ll tell me just stop talking to them then (them being his friends or their girlfriends) his brother’s ex girlfriend who he was with for nearly a year was always being rude to me and he noticed it too but always told me to be the bigger person in the situation and I did out of respect for his brother and my SO. His brother was always talking about me behind my back saying really hurtful things about me and I was told that all his friends have had their fair share of having a not so nice opinion on me. The past few weeks they have been going out making plans not inviting me or my boyfriend and this has been happening for months. My boyfriend has tried to make plans with them and they have cancelled on him ( the plans he made didn’t involve alcohol also) and he told me last week they are starting to piss him off because he feels they only want to be around him to drink and party. Now this week he is AGAIN justifying their actions towards me and him both because for the first time in months they have made plans which involve going out drinking now all a sudden they seem to not be doing anything wrong. He said “I know they have been disrespectful towards you I agree with you there but stop trying to make me be annoyed at them” and he keeps really getting pissed off at me anytime I try to talk about it. I constantly feel disrespected by people around us (people he brings around) and he allows it to happen and if I want to stop them being disrespectful to me , he gets annoyed and flips out at me. I don’t know what to do I feel it’s pushing me away from him because now I don’t want to try talk to him about it anymore because he’s shut me up so many times about it and I just feel he doesn’t care how I feel I’m these situations I wouldn’t ever be around people who made me feel like this and I wouldn’t let anyone treat me like this and he’s trying to make me think it’s okay because their his friends. I’ve asked him to talk to them about it (not argue) just talk about how it’s not okay to make me feel like that when all I have ever done for them all is be a friend to them when they needed it. They only bother with us when they want to drink alcohol but now that I can’t drink they don’t seem to be around . I don’t know what to do I’m thinking of asking my boyfriend for a break because it’s making me feel really crap
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one_two_three
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Have you got friends of your own? These people are your partners friends and brother - not yours. While they may be friendly, the chances are that if you split with your partner then they wouldn't be friends with you.

I think you are possibly going through a lot right now and you are feeling isolated. You have been far too dependent on your boyfriend and his friends for your social circle without seeing the reality of the situation. I think you should look at getting a friendship group of your own and possibly other expectant mothers/new mothers that you have something in common with.
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Anonymous #1
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I’m

(Original post by one_two_three)
Have you got friends of your own? These people are your partners friends and brother - not yours. While they may be friendly, the chances are that if you split with your partner then they wouldn't be friends with you.

I think you are possibly going through a lot right now and you are feeling isolated. You have been far too dependent on your boyfriend and his friends for your social circle without seeing the reality of the situation. I think you should look at getting a friendship group of your own and possibly other expectant mothers/new mothers that you have something in common with.
I have friends of my own. I know they aren’t my friends and I know they are his friends they always be his friends and I understand that but their not good friends for him they only want to be around when alcohol is involved and they have been leaving him out so much because he doesn’t want to drink and he realises it too he said it to me last week but now all a sudden he’s changed his thoughts. It’s that I’ve felt disrespected by people he has brought into my life I don’t want people like that around me but because their his friends he wants me around them
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one_two_three
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Lockdown has had a massive impact on a lot of people and friendships that would have gradually faded as people grew are all of a sudden disappearing people we have not had the opportunity for a gradual fade. At your age a lot of guys want to socialise with drink, if your partner doesn't want to drink then he can always have a pepsi but an entire friendship group isn't going to change for one person. I think it is also a point to make that currently one of the few social things we can do is drink outside of a pub.

I am closer to a couple of people in my friendship group so naturally they are the ones I really kept in contact with through lockdown and everyone else was only through group chat. When we all met up I realised how different we all were because over a year has passed. This is something I would have withdrawn from over time as we grew apart but because of lockdown I had a sudden realisation of how different we are so you also get the sudden emotional shock of it. I think this is probably the case with everyone.
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