Make it More Election-ey !!

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the bear
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#1
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#1
so tomorrow we are voting for various things... let's get in the mood with some partisan punnage

Never Mind the Ballots



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the bear
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#2
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Pugglet
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#3
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#3
I might go postal (vote)
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mnot
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#4
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#4
Morning tory
Grab your vote, you’ve pulled
Too Hartlepool for school
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TJ1997
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#5
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What's The Story, Socially Distancing Tories

In poll position

Starmer Chameleon

British Blair-ways

(House of) Commons People
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a_w_
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#6
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#6
Old MacDonald runs an election on his farm. He stood in front of his barn and said

all those not in favour of this new food say neigh
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the bear
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#7
(Original post by Pugglet)
I might go postal (vote)
:woo: good one Pug :yay:

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the bear
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#8
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#8
(Original post by mnot)
Morning tory
Grab your vote, you’ve pulled
Too Hartlepool for school
:woo: good work mnot :ahee:

the people of Scotland are lovin' it :party2:

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Luchd-ceannach luach,
feuch nach tiormaich thu na sporran agad air
rèididheatoran an t-seòmair atharrachaidh.
Bidh Big Èibhlin a ’bhean-glanaidh gam mearachd
airson damhain-allaidh mòr agus tha cas èibhinn aice.
An àite sin dìreach thig a-steach don ionad-fàilte agus fàg
na sporrans agad le Siùsan mòra.
Tiormaichidh i iad dhut anns a ’phreasa shònraichte aice.

Ruairidhghasghall MacFhearghail

Leas-mhanaidsear cuideachaidh sporrans agus sin


Spoiler:
Show
Valued customers,
please do not dry your sporrans on the changing room radiators.
Big Èibhlin the cleaning lady mistakes them
for enormous spiders and has a funny turn.
Instead just pop along to reception and leave
your sporrans with big Siùsan.
She will dry them for you in her special cupboard.

Ruairidh Dùghall MacFhearghail

Deputy Assistant Manager of sporrans and that
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Trinculo
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#9
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#9
Have You Ever Been (to Electoral Ladyland)?

The Returning Officer of the Jedi

The Ballot of John and Yoko
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the bear
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#10
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#10
(Original post by TJ1997)
What's The Story, Socially Distancing Tories

In poll position

Starmer Chameleon

British Blair-ways

(House of) Commons People
:woo: very convincing punnage Sire !! :borat:

#3 made me chuckle the most :yep:

the people of Scotland are enjoying your work

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A dhaoine uaisle,
is dòcha gu bheil thu air do sgian-dubh a mhealladh?
lorg Ciorsigear mòr an tè ugh fear air cùl ionad fallaineachd
Alex Salmond tràth sa mhadainn.
Bha e ri taobh tam o'shanter boireannach.
Ma tha thu den bheachd gur dòcha gur ann leatsa
a tha an armachd seo dìreach thig a-steach don ionad-fàilte
agus facal a bhith agad le Mòrag mòr.
Tha i a ’coimhead às a dèidh anns a’ phreasa shònraichte aice,
còmhla ri diofar sporrans soggy, pìob-mhòr,
duiseal, zithers, adan, briogais, aodach bainnse agus sin.
Ma tha thu airson na sruthan fala a thoirt air falbh tha M le
inneal-glanaidh làidir agus spong.

Ruairidhghasghall MacFhearghail

Leas-mhanaidsear cuideachaidh biodagan agus sin


Spoiler:
Show
Gentlemen,
perhaps you have mislaid your sgian-dubh ?
big Ciorstaidh the egg lady found one behind the
Alex Salmond fitness centre early this morning.
It was next to a lady's tam o'shanter.
If you think this weapon might belong to you
just pop along to reception and have a word with big Mòrag.
She is looking after it in her special cupboard,
along with various soggy sporrans, bagpipes,
flutes, zithers, hats, trousers, wedding garments and that.
If you wish to remove the bloodstains big M
has some strong detergent and a sponge.

Ruairidh Dùghall MacFhearghail

Deputy Assistant Manager of daggers and that
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the bear
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(Original post by a_w_)
Old MacDonald runs an election on his farm. He stood in front of his barn and said

all those not in favour of this new food say neigh
:woo: good one a_w :yay:

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nulli tertius
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The Man Who Would Be West Mercia Police and Crime Commissioner

The Deputy Leader of the Gang

The Councillors from County Hell
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the bear
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Trinculo)
Have You Ever Been (to Electoral Ladyland)?

The Returning Officer of the Jedi

The Ballot of John and Yoko
:woo: well played Trinc :congrats:

#1 did it for me :rofl:

the people of Scotland are also amused :yep:

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Luchd-ceannach luachmhor,
is dòcha gu bheil thu air fathannan mu kelpie a chluinntinn
anns na seòmraichean atharrachaidh?
Na biodh eagal ort.
Ma thig thu tarsainn air an sprite uisgeach
seo dìreach gluais air ais gu socair gus an ruig thu cuirm.
innis dha Aingealag mòr dè thachair. Bheir i aire dha.
Is i an seachdamh nighean aig seachdamh nighean agus
tha i uidheamaichte gus creutairean trioblaideach
a thoirt a-mach às an togalach.

Uarraig Gilleasbuig Griogalach

Leas-mhanaidsear cuideachaidh stuthan os-nàdarrach agus sin


Spoiler:
Show
Valued customers,
perhaps you have heard rumours of a kelpie in the changing rooms ?
Do not be alarmed. If you come across this aquatic sprite
just calmly walk backwards until you reach reception.
tell big Aingealag what happened. She will take care of it.
She is the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter and is well qualified
to remove troublesome beings from the premises.

Uarraig Gilleasbuig Griogalach

Deputy Assistant Manager of supernatural stuff and that
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nulli tertius
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#14
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A movie about the Conservatives’ attempt to secure the Chinese vote:-

Soy Tory
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nulli tertius
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#15
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The Count at Monte Christo
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the bear
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#16
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#16
(Original post by nulli tertius)
The Man Who Would Be West Mercia Police and Crime Commissioner

The Deputy Leader of the Gang

The Councillors from County Hell
:woo: well met Sir Nulli !! :five:

the people of Scotland are impressed by your work :yep:

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A dhaoine uaisle,
feuch nach cluich thu geamannan gòrach leis na
boireannaich fàilteachaidh fhad ‘s a tha iad a’ gabhail nap.
Tha a bhith a ’feuchainn ri pìosan de aran-cridhe
a phronnadh nam beul an dà chuid eas-urramach agus cunnartach.
Tha aileirdsidh cruithneachd air Big Èibhlin agus
dh ’fhaodadh e fàs gu math tinn nan ruigeadh pìos briosgaid an targaid aige.
Tha geall air toradh an t-sròin seo an aghaidh
laghan stàite agus ionadail.
Faigh beatha a tha thu a ’mùchadh botherers.

Uarraig Gilleasbuig Griogalach

Leas-mhanaidsear Taic Sàbhailteachd Luchd-obrach agus sin

Spoiler:
Show
Gentlemen,
please do not play silly games with the reception ladies
whilst they are having a nap.
Attempting to flick pieces of shortbread into their mouths
is both disrespectful and dangerous.
Big Èibhlin has a wheat allergy and could become seriously ill
if a piece of biscuit reached its target.
Betting on the result of this nonsense
is contrary to state and local laws.
Get a life you midge botherers.

Uarraig Gilleasbuig Griogalach

Deputy Assistant Manager of Staff Safety and that
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the bear
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#17
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(Original post by nulli tertius)
A movie about the Conservatives’ attempt to secure the Chinese vote:-

Soy Tory
:rofl: this is genius :woo:
(Original post by nulli tertius)
The Count at Monte Christo
very chucklesome :yep:

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the bear
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#18
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#18
i am off now

see you tomorrow down the polling station

:wavey:
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Laurence010401
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#19
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#19
In my area, someone called Savage Gunn is running for police and crime commissioner. Her name is a pun :lol: im not even joking thats a true fact.
Anyway, I can also think of some election related puns -

The North/South Polls

The Kissing Polling Booth

Lib Demi Lovato

It's A Jacinda
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FV75
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#20
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#20
Fiddler in the Booth
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