can u rate my poem lol

Badges: 2
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
ok so I know **** sucks like bad - I just need to know if it even makes fricking sense lol,so here we go

On a busy road, impatient for the signal to walk
A man holding back tears stood
He wore a suit, his best suit
And a single tear fell on the dust-covered pavement
As the man tightened his grip on the thin base of the street light
Facedown, no one can see

The signal turned green.
But the man stayed in place.
People walked past him, talking to one another
Laughing, smiling...
He didn’t notice, his eyes busy watching two people
Hand in hand

A woman and a small boy
On the other side of the street
Dressed in fine winter clothes
Tears rolled down his face
Until a puddle formed and dampened his leather shoes
It was not fair

The woman, blonde, like his mother, looked right at him
The boy, same hair as the man, clung onto her arm
As the man had done, to his mother
He gathered up all the strength he could
And joined the oblivious walking crowd

Past the memories of him and his mother
which he wasn’t sure if he was imagining or not
And walked straight home
Back from his mama’s funeral

btw I wrote this straight from my head, all I edited was sentence length please that just about explains everything you just read lol. also be honest I need to pass english lol
Last edited by genericscribbles; 1 month ago
Badges: 20
Report 1 month ago
It makes sense, but nothing rhymes. Poems are supposed to rhyme.

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