AQA Literature Paper 1 essay on Lady Macbeth?

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n.am010.9
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Could someone tell me what mark I'd get for this?

(this is my essay) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JeJ...ew?usp=sharing

(this is the question) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PXA...ew?usp=sharing

Thanks in advance.

*EDIT: I have made significant revisions to the essay but my exam is in a couple of hours so I don't reckon anyone will respond in time. Thanks for all the help though.
Last edited by n.am010.9; 1 month ago
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ts6232
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(Original post by n.am010.9)
Could someone tell me what mark I'd get for this?

(this is my essay) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JeJ...ew?usp=sharing

(this is the question) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PXA...ew?usp=sharing

Thanks in advance.
Well firstly it is a bit wordy to begin with you should try not to use too many words especially in the opening paragraph

You have used a lot of ambitious vocab which is good but you should tone it down a bit .

You have not fully explained the quotes , it should be one or two qoutes per paragraph which are explained deeply.
you should amke a Point then Explain it then give Evidence and the Link it back to the question , i will show you one of my paragraphs as an example


Throughout the play Shakespeare presents guilt in several ways an example of this is in Act 5 scene 1 when Lady Macbeth's guilt results in her sleepwalking. Lady Macbeth’s inability to sleep is non-arguably a by-product of her guilt caused by her involvement in Duncan’s murder, who looked similar to her father. She repeatedly washes her hands, whilst shouting "Out damned spot!". This is a stark contrast to Act 2, Scene 2, where she informs Macbeth that “A little water clears us of this deed” but clearly no amount of water will be able to clear her from the deed. The use of imperative verbs gives the audience an insight into Lady Macbeth’s eagerness and desperation to be rid of her guilt. The adjective “damned” suggests that God is punishing Lady Macbeth for her involvement in the murder of Duncan; she continues to hallucinate and carries on an imaginary conversation with her husband regarding their crime. (NOT THE FULL PARAGRAPH)

Ive only used two quotes but i have broken those qoutes apart and explained the key words such as damned

i think you would get a 6 for this piece
Main advice would be to use less quotes and go into detail on the ones you use , if you still need help i don't mind helping
Last edited by ts6232; 1 month ago
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ts6232
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(Original post by n.am010.9)
Could someone tell me what mark I'd get for this?

(this is my essay) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JeJ...ew?usp=sharing

(this is the question) https://drive.google.com/file/d/1PXA...ew?usp=sharing

Thanks in advance.
It won't allow me to PM you but if you send me your email or something i can help you
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n.am010.9
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a

(Original post by ts6232)
It won't allow me to PM you but if you send me your email or something i can help
i have done- thanks
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Bobsayshey
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(Original post by ts6232)
Well firstly it is a bit wordy to begin with you should try not to use too many words especially in the opening paragraph

You have used a lot of ambitious vocab which is good but you should tone it down a bit .

You have not fully explained the quotes , it should be one or two qoutes per paragraph which are explained deeply.
you should amke a Point then Explain it then give Evidence and the Link it back to the question , i will show you one of my paragraphs as an example


Throughout the play Shakespeare presents guilt in several ways an example of this is in Act 5 scene 1 when Lady Macbeth's guilt results in her sleepwalking. Lady Macbeth’s inability to sleep is non-arguably a by-product of her guilt caused by her involvement in Duncan’s murder, who looked similar to her father. She repeatedly washes her hands, whilst shouting "Out damned spot!". This is a stark contrast to Act 2, Scene 2, where she informs Macbeth that “A little water clears us of this deed” but clearly no amount of water will be able to clear her from the deed. The use of imperative verbs gives the audience an insight into Lady Macbeth’s eagerness and desperation to be rid of her guilt. The adjective “damned” suggests that God is punishing Lady Macbeth for her involvement in the murder of Duncan; she continues to hallucinate and carries on an imaginary conversation with her husband regarding their crime. (NOT THE FULL PARAGRAPH)

Ive only used two quotes but i have broken those qoutes apart and explained the key words such as damned

i think you would get a 6 for this piece
Main advice would be to use less quotes and go into detail on the ones you use , if you still need help i don't mind helping
oooo would love to read more of this if you may share, ofc always up to you
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