Anonymous #1
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Recently, I've been thinking about some incidents that happened to me when I was younger. I don't know why but it's never occurred to me how f***ed up they are until now. I want to get some opinions on whether these incidents are weird.

First thing happened when I was around 5. Two of my dad's friend took me shopping (both male in their 30-40s). They bought me a top but insisted on coming into the changing room to watch me change (I'm a female). I've forgotten the details but I think they did casually and briefly touch my chest.

The second incident happened with my cousin. I was 6-7 and she was 11-12 at the time and some times she would suck on my b*ob (or make me suck on hers). For some strange reason, it didn't even seem that weird at the time (?!?!), nor was it unpleasant, hence why I didn't tell anyone about it. I've always thought it was just stupid kids doing stupid things, but now I feel like she should have known better at the age 12? We are both straight though.

I'm obviously not going to do anything about them now, and I think my cousin's forgotten all about it. It would just be nice to get some outside perspective on whether these are concerning behaviours or am I just overthinking?
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Recently, I've been thinking about some incidents that happened to me when I was younger. I don't know why but it's never occurred to me how f***ed up they are until now. I want to get some opinions on whether these incidents are weird.

First thing happened when I was around 5. Two of my dad's friend took me shopping (both male in their 30-40s). They bought me a top but insisted on coming into the changing room to watch me change (I'm a female). I've forgotten the details but I think they did casually and briefly touch my chest.

The second incident happened with my cousin. I was 6-7 and she was 11-12 at the time and some times she would suck on my b*ob (or make me suck on hers). For some strange reason, it didn't even seem that weird at the time (?!?!), nor was it unpleasant, hence why I didn't tell anyone about it. I've always thought it was just stupid kids doing stupid things, but now I feel like she should have known better at the age 12? We are both straight though.

I'm obviously not going to do anything about them now, and I think my cousin's forgotten all about it. It would just be nice to get some outside perspective on whether these are concerning behaviours or am I just overthinking?
I would be more concerned about the first thing, kids do weird things with each other all the time, probably not much to worry about.
I think it’s hard to tell with the changing room thing, many 5 year olds struggle to dress themselves so they may have been genuinely trying to help.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would be more concerned about the first thing, kids do weird things with each other all the time, probably not much to worry about.
I think it’s hard to tell with the changing room thing, many 5 year olds struggle to dress themselves so they may have been genuinely trying to help.
Thank you. It’s interesting to hear it from another perspective.
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Anonymous #1
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I think the main thing is my parents are still friends with them so idk if I should distance myself the next time they come over.

(Original post by Anonymous)
I would be more concerned about the first thing, kids do weird things with each other all the time, probably not much to worry about.
I think it’s hard to tell with the changing room thing, many 5 year olds struggle to dress themselves so they may have been genuinely trying to help.
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Anonymous #3
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the first is very odd and concerning, grown men shouldn't be acting like that. but the second one id say it quite normal, kids just wanna try new things lol
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HoldThisL
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first is definitely a yes, second is a probably a yes but i don't know whether a 12yo girl should know better here
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
the first is very odd and concerning, grown men shouldn't be acting like that. but the second one id say it quite normal, kids just wanna try new things lol
Thank you. I just remember trying on a few tops and them always insisting on coming in every time even though I said I was fine. I was just too focused on the pretty tops at the time.
(Original post by HoldThisL)
first is definitely a yes, second is a probably a yes but i don't know whether a 12yo girl should know better here
Thank you. I think I will probably just excuse myself the next time they come over. It still feels slightly uncomfortable to be in the same room with them now that I think about that incident. With regards to my cousin, I was mainly thinking about what I did when I was 12, and I would definitely not make a 5-6 year old do those things.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would be more concerned about the first thing, kids do weird things with each other all the time, probably not much to worry about.
I think it’s hard to tell with the changing room thing, many 5 year olds struggle to dress themselves so they may have been genuinely trying to help.
(Original post by Anonymous)
the first is very odd and concerning, grown men shouldn't be acting like that. but the second one id say it quite normal, kids just wanna try new things lol
(Original post by HoldThisL)
first is definitely a yes, second is a probably a yes but i don't know whether a 12yo girl should know better here
Sorry to bother again but do you guys think I should tell my parents about this? I don't want to cause any drama just incase they had innocent intentions, but at the same time I don't want my parents to continue being friends with them if it really were something more sinister. My parents are very protective so I know they definitely would want me to tell them, but I don't know.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry to bother again but do you guys think I should tell my parents about this? I don't want to cause any drama just incase they had innocent intentions, but at the same time I don't want my parents to continue being friends with them if it really were something more sinister. My parents are very protective so I know they definitely would want me to tell them, but I don't know.
if it has only happened that one time I don't think u have to tell your parents. it may have just been a misreading the situation and u wouldn't want to falsely accuse them and make everything awkward. but if u feel like they still give u those creepy vibes, then tell ur parents. its up to u
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
if it has only happened that one time I don't think u have to tell your parents. it may have just been a misreading the situation and u wouldn't want to falsely accuse them and make everything awkward. but if u feel like they still give u those creepy vibes, then tell ur parents. its up to u
Yeah that’s true.

For the boys: would going in a changing room with a 5 year old girl be weird for you? Or would you also do the same if you were taking a family friend shopping?
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Steve H
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If it was one of my nieces, it wouldn’t be weird. Not sure about a non-family member as I’ve never had that close a relationship with friends.

The real question is why both men needed to be in the changing room, surely one would have been fine if they were just assisting?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Steve H)
If it was one of my nieces, it wouldn’t be weird. Not sure about a non-family member as I’ve never had that close a relationship with friends.

The real question is why both men needed to be in the changing room, surely one would have been fine if they were just assisting?
That’s one of the reasons why it made me uncomfortable! Also, one of them wasn’t even that close with my dad at the time; he only tagged along because he’s friends with my dad’s friend. It was also the first time he’s actually met ME.

That’s why it’s so weird, like why go into a changing room with a 5 year old girl you’ve only met for 2 hours? When you know she’s going to be taking off her top when trying things on?
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Steve H
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It is weird. There was no reason for the extra guy to be there or for your dad's friend to suggest that he join you.

I’d probably tell your parents.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Steve H)
It is weird. There was no reason for the extra guy to be there or for your dad's friend to suggest that he join you.

I’d probably tell your parents.
Okay, thanks for all your help.
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry to bother again but do you guys think I should tell my parents about this? I don't want to cause any drama just incase they had innocent intentions, but at the same time I don't want my parents to continue being friends with them if it really were something more sinister. My parents are very protective so I know they definitely would want me to tell them, but I don't know.
yes, you probably should. i didn't get the impression of innocent behaviour but then neither do i know everything
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Recently, I've been thinking about some incidents that happened to me when I was younger. I don't know why but it's never occurred to me how f***ed up they are until now. I want to get some opinions on whether these incidents are weird.

First thing happened when I was around 5. Two of my dad's friend took me shopping (both male in their 30-40s). They bought me a top but insisted on coming into the changing room to watch me change (I'm a female). I've forgotten the details but I think they did casually and briefly touch my chest.

The second incident happened with my cousin. I was 6-7 and she was 11-12 at the time and some times she would suck on my b*ob (or make me suck on hers). For some strange reason, it didn't even seem that weird at the time (?!?!), nor was it unpleasant, hence why I didn't tell anyone about it. I've always thought it was just stupid kids doing stupid things, but now I feel like she should have known better at the age 12? We are both straight though.

I'm obviously not going to do anything about them now, and I think my cousin's forgotten all about it. It would just be nice to get some outside perspective on whether these are concerning behaviours or am I just overthinking?
the first one is deffo weird and if the details you gave are exactly what happened then you were 1000% molested. I'm so sorry about that love.

but the second one can be seen in a different light, i have a little sister who is 4 years younger and when she was a baby 2/3 and i was 6/7 i used to 'breastfeed' her cause i saw my mum do it, it's just weird **** kids do.

i know it's hard to realise that you were sexually assaulted in the past(i recently just had a few revelations of my own), the best thing to do is think on how it makes you feel and decude how you want to move forward, either by confronting them, confiding in someone(what i did) or just moving on.

i hope it gets better, realising these things quite late feels really bad and makes you think what else happened that i have forgotten or my brian blocked out? but it'll be alright love, it always is and you're more aware now
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by HoldThisL)
yes, you probably should. i didn't get the impression of innocent behaviour but then neither do i know everything
Okay thank you.

(Original post by Anonymous)
the first one is deffo weird and if the details you gave are exactly what happened then you were 1000% molested. I'm so sorry about that love.

but the second one can be seen in a different light, i have a little sister who is 4 years younger and when she was a baby 2/3 and i was 6/7 i used to 'breastfeed' her cause i saw my mum do it, it's just weird **** kids do.

i know it's hard to realise that you were sexually assaulted in the past(i recently just had a few revelations of my own), the best thing to do is think on how it makes you feel and decude how you want to move forward, either by confronting them, confiding in someone(what i did) or just moving on.

i hope it gets better, realising these things quite late feels really bad and makes you think what else happened that i have forgotten or my brian blocked out? but it'll be alright love, it always is and you're more aware now
Thanks so much for your kind words. I don’t think I will confront them, but I just want to keep those kind of people out of my life (and my loved ones’ life) if I can. I really appreciate the support
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ROTL94
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(Original post by HoldThisL)
first is definitely a yes, second is a probably a yes but i don't know whether a 12yo girl should know better here
Well, the age of criminal responsibility in the UK is 10, so the law clearly thinks she should.
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Recently, I've been thinking about some incidents that happened to me when I was younger. I don't know why but it's never occurred to me how f***ed up they are until now. I want to get some opinions on whether these incidents are weird.

First thing happened when I was around 5. Two of my dad's friend took me shopping (both male in their 30-40s). They bought me a top but insisted on coming into the changing room to watch me change (I'm a female). I've forgotten the details but I think they did casually and briefly touch my chest.

The second incident happened with my cousin. I was 6-7 and she was 11-12 at the time and some times she would suck on my b*ob (or make me suck on hers). For some strange reason, it didn't even seem that weird at the time (?!?!), nor was it unpleasant, hence why I didn't tell anyone about it. I've always thought it was just stupid kids doing stupid things, but now I feel like she should have known better at the age 12? We are both straight though.

I'm obviously not going to do anything about them now, and I think my cousin's forgotten all about it. It would just be nice to get some outside perspective on whether these are concerning behaviours or am I just overthinking?
i mean as you was such a young age it might not have been how you remembered it, i really don’t though if it bothers you and the guys act weird afound you or have said inappropriate things before that you remember then yes, you should tell your parents. but if it’s not the case it may then make you seem like a liar and cause issues, i’m sorry you’re in this position
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ROTL94
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(Original post by ROTL94)
Well, the age of criminal responsibility in the UK is 10, so the law clearly thinks she should.
Sought CPS guidance on this

When considering a case involving an offence by a youth under the age of 18 years against a child under 13 years, mistaken belief that the child under 13 was in fact over 16 years old is not a defence. The principle that a child under 13 years old cannot in law consent applies to offences committed by youths. In such circumstances action falling short of prosecution may be appropriate. The parents and/or welfare agencies may be able to deal with the situation informally.
Last edited by ROTL94; 1 month ago
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