would you lend boyfriend money?

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Anonymous #1
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Boyfriend of 4 months is in a tight situation financially at no fault of his own. We are both at uni, his about to struggle to get by and at risk of having to leave uni. Me on the other hand, am very financially independent due to my background and have savings. I've lent money to family many of times, I only lend what I know I can afford. My bf, didn't specifically ask to borrow money and hates it if I do. But without my help his basically screwed. His actively looking for a job and got interviews lined up so no doubt about it he would repay me. Really I know its dumb to, but I always am as I've never left myself short with money, and I hate seeing poeple get stuck because of issues out of their hand. Should I, how much is too much?
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TFEU
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Depending on the guy and how close you guys are. If he’s shown no red flags and is actively trying to get him out of the situation, then I don’t see why not.

I personally would be comfortable lending my bf anything below £50,000, but with a well drafted out loan agreement of course.
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ThatOldGuy
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No. Don't do it. It'll put pressure on the relationship. You can give a gift, but don't loan money.

If someone is in a tight spot financially, he will be in a tight spot when he has to repay you as well. This will cause frustration on your part and guilt on his, which will result in him getting resentful and angry at you. Him being resentful and angry will puzzle you as you will think you helped him, which will make you resentful and angry towards him.

He will not repay it. You will not be happy. He will not be happy.
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Adz2042
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I wouldn't.
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YaliaV123
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(Original post by ThatOldGuy)
No. Don't do it. It'll put pressure on the relationship. You can give a gift, but don't loan money.

If someone is in a tight spot financially, he will be in a tight spot when he has to repay you as well. This will cause frustration on your part and guilt on his, which will result in him getting resentful and angry at you. Him being resentful and angry will puzzle you as you will think you helped him, which will make you resentful and angry towards him.

He will not repay it. You will not be happy. He will not be happy.
I agree with this.
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londonmyst
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No.
I would give the money without any expectations- in relation to the bf, money or relationship.

NEVER EVER lend a partner, friend or relative any money.
Doing so only creates additional relationship pressures; feelings of obligation/resentment/embarassment/frustration or feeds a borrower perception of the lending partner as a means of accessing interest free overdrafts.
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Anonymous #2
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Don't do it. He'll be upset maybe, but when he doesn't pay you back, you'll both be upset. Take it from me, my family's had experience of this!
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Sandtrooper
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(Original post by londonmyst)
No.
I would give the money without any expectations- in relation to the bf, money or relationship.

NEVER EVER lend a partner, friend or relative any money.
Doing so only creates additional relationship pressures; feelings of obligation/resentment/embarassment/frustration or feeds a borrower perception of the lending partner as a means of accessing interest free overdrafts.
If you have complete trust in the other person, I don't see why not. Especially if the terms are laid out.

I was travelling with a friend and he lost his card. He could have called the bank and got a new one but I lent him £800 instead, and he repaid me the day after we got back home. I had no issue with it because I trusted him, and it didn't put a strain on our friendship. However, if there is any ounce of doubt, I would advise OP not to.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Sandtrooper)
If you have complete trust in the other person, I don't see why not. Especially if the terms are laid out.

I was travelling with a friend and he lost his card. He could have called the bank and got a new one but I lent him £800 instead, and he repaid me the day after we got back home. I had no issue with it because I trusted him, and it didn't put a strain on our friendship. However, if there is any ounce of doubt, I would advise OP not to.
That was a one off situation. OP says that her bf is struggling to get by so even if she pays his debt this time he still won't be able to get by. If she's able to right off the money then it's her call, but if she'll need it at a later date, I wouldn't recommend it. This being said loads of students are hard up and then manage to get jobs that enable them to pay off their debts. So it all depends on her trust in his capacity to pay back later. I would advise that he contacts his uni hardship fund first.
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JaseyB
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You have only been going out with him for 4 months, in my opinion it would depend on how long you had known him prior to that, and whether or not you think he will repay you, If you have only known him a short time I would advise against it, but if you have known him a few years then I would probably advise for it, depending on what he is like.
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Anonymous #1
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Thing is once he gets a job he will be fine. I believe he would pay me back as soon as, if he wasn't proactive about finding a job and thought he wouldn't repay me I wouldn't consider. I've had experience before lending relatives money so I'm careful to do so to not impact myself and insure I know where it's going. Me being me can't help but offer my aid as I came from a family with no money and struggled alot I hate seeing others going thro it.

I myself call it a dumb move to lend money but can't help myself ahhh.
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Anonymous #1
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I'd agree but seem to not be able to not help myself. I've had experience lending money before to relatives, im careful to not leave myself short. if he wasn't proactive about a job I wouldn't consider and I'm sure he will repay me as soon as. I come from a family that struggled with money so I hate seeing people go thro it, probably why im good i can't help but to help- the amount his asking won't really impact me.
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Zarek
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You can’t fully know and trust someone you’ve been with 4 months and in the honeymoon phase of a relationship too. As long as you want to do it, can afford to lose the money and believe it won’t make the angst if you split up even worse then why not
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A Rolling Stone
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Boyfriend of 4 months is in a tight situation financially at no fault of his own. We are both at uni, his about to struggle to get by and at risk of having to leave uni. Me on the other hand, am very financially independent due to my background and have savings. I've lent money to family many of times, I only lend what I know I can afford. My bf, didn't specifically ask to borrow money and hates it if I do. But without my help his basically screwed. His actively looking for a job and got interviews lined up so no doubt about it he would repay me. Really I know its dumb to, but I always am as I've never left myself short with money, and I hate seeing poeple get stuck because of issues out of their hand. Should I, how much is too much?
i would not lend him money on the basis that he doesn't need it
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'd agree but seem to not be able to not help myself. I've had experience lending money before to relatives, im careful to not leave myself short. if he wasn't proactive about a job I wouldn't consider and I'm sure he will repay me as soon as. I come from a family that struggled with money so I hate seeing people go thro it, probably why im good i can't help but to help- the amount his asking won't really impact me.
Write out a proper agreement as to how he will pay it back and both sign it.
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