Boyfriend going off to uni without me

Okay so I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and he’s planning to go to uni in September I live close to the uni hes going to so distance isnt too bad but I’m 17 and he’s 18 and I’m kinda weary that when he does finally start I’ll be holding him back and even though I trust him uni seems to be infamous for ending relationships . I don’t wanna waste my time only to have him cheat on me and our lives could be quite different at that point I’m assuming too .

should I break up with him before uni starts or stay with him ?

Reply 1

HoldThisL

it's common for break ups, but if you trust him then you shouldn't assume he might cheat because that kind of thought will probably be the end of you two if him leaving for university isn't - he'll catch on that you don't really trust him

you could be risking your relationship, but what kind of value are you really placing on it if breaking up with him to avoid the disappointment of being broken up with is a viable option?

Reply 2

Bestman424

Stay with him, you could go to the same uni next year

Reply 3

BitMel

I'd say stay with him. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. You said you live close to the uni so you're already in a better situation than most people who have LDR during uni.

Reply 4

Zarek

I guess it’s weight up how much you’re both invested in the relationship and decide if you want to give it a go. Uni separation does bring challenges and there could be some merit in seeking to end it more tidily

Reply 5

username5428282

It doesn’t sound like you have much faith in him or the relationship.

Reply 6

Stressedgirl288

I’m having the same problem but the other way around. I’m going to uni next year and my boyfriend is having a really hard time not knowing what is going to happen- if other boys might hit on me or that I’ll cheat on him. I reassure him that i won’t be going out drinking all the time and that I’m just going for my degree, and going out all the time doesn’t interest me anyways. But the thought is keeping him up and night and is starting to put us in a tricky situation. He keeps saying he thinks we will break up next year but we both really don’t want it to come to that. I don’t know what to do.

Reply 7

Theloniouss

Universities Forum Helper

Tbh it's probably a good idea to break up. You're going to change a lot when you go to uni (both of you) and even if you go to a uni nearby it's exceptionally unlikely that you stay together the whole time. Might as well agree to enjoy it while it lasts without the constant fear of breaking up.

Reply 8

Stressedgirl288

Original post by Theloniouss

That isn’t a simple option when you both love each other. You don’t Just break up with someone because there’s obstacles in your relationship. We want to make things work but we’re stuck for a way now for now. I do agree that breaking up could be the only way if he can’t learn to trust me. But I think if he does learn to trust me then everything will be okay

Reply 9

Theloniouss

Universities Forum Helper

Original post by Stressedgirl288

I think "all we need is trust and everything will be okay" is a very nice but a little naive way of looking at things. You are welcome to try to keep your relationship together through uni, but I don't know of a single instance where that has worked, and I can think of quite a few where it hasn't.