how to get over 'the right person but wrong time'

So I have been dating this guy for about 10 months now, he's my first love, first for everything else and I'm seriously head over heels. He's leaving to the US in around two months from now and we've already decided way before to just break up on the day he gets on the plane as there's no chance of long-distance with his naval service being around 9 years and I will be studying in the UK. There is a strong 'If its meant to be we'll find each other later in life' sorta sentiment between us but it'll be a 100% complete cutting off contact the moment he leaves. Neither of us wants that but it just makes logical sense. So my question is this: For anyone who has gone through a similar experience or has any advice, how do you get over someone that will leave so abruptly knowing that the only reason you had to end things was because of circumstance?

So there's none of that 'when you break up just imagine the worst parts of him or remember he's toxic for you you're better off without him etc.' stuff I can rely on to move on, cuz he's really just a wonderful guy and its been a lovely relationship. So anyone have any advice for moving on from that? I'd love to hear anything.

Reply 1

HoldThisL

Original post by Anonymous

He's leaving to the US in around two months from now and we've already decided way before to just break up on the day he gets on the plane as there's no chance of long-distance with his naval service being around 9 years and I will be studying in the UK.

jesus christ

this sounds like a movie

my condolences

i can't really suggest anything but find something else to do that occupies your thoughts

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Geez break up now why you with someone knowing it will come to an end so stupid

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Geez break up now why you with someone knowing it will come to an end so stupid

hahahah im not gonna lie if i could talk to my past self they would say this exact same thing. but tbh I would just regret not spending the time I got left so ig im just gonna enjoy the rest (+ I'm doing my IB exams right now so its a big no to break up and add stress to that).

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by HoldThisL

jesus christ

this sounds like a movie

my condolences

i can't really suggest anything but find something else to do that occupies your thoughts

a movie :') i think ill just focus on my upcoming university once he leaves and just focus all my thinking onto that. thanks for the kind words tho

Reply 5

Dunnig Kruger

Enjoy the next 2 months to the full.

Then start your search for another guy that will be just as wonderful for you.

Remind yourself that it takes 2 to tango. 2 people to make a great relationship. And you were one half of your great relationship. Which is good going for your first relationship.

If you've gotten a nice boyfriend before, you'll be able to get another one again.
Of course he won't be the same. He will have a different set of strengths and weaknesses.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Anonymous

Geez break up now why you with someone knowing it will come to an end so stupid

oh and tbf i never thought this relationship would last so long and become so intense and full of lovey dovey emotion - otherwise with hindsight maybe I wouldn't have gone through with it knowing it would end so abruptly/painfully, doesn't rlly change the fact that I'm in this situation now though.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Dunnig Kruger

very very true. thank you for the clear and good advice, imma move forward with that mindset.

Reply 8

Tomyris

This really sucks. At least if you're starting uni in a few months then you'll be really distracted by meeting so many new people and places and be able to find a fresh start and stop thinking about him so much. Honestly keeping yourself busy is the only way to not be too upset about it.

I'm moving to France in a few months and leaving my boyfriend who was also my first everything and I'm very in love with so I completely get how you feel, it sucks when it feels like you have no choice in circumstance. My situation's a bit different because it's only two years instead of nine but we decided we may as well try and still do long distance in some form because it would be too hard to just suddenly not have each other to talk to.

I think you'll find it so much harder to just cut off contact completely.. Would you not want to maybe phone once a while even if its to catch up and be there for each other as friends?