dealing with friends who are drifting from Islam & bad influence

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000throwaway
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salam brothers and sisters -

I’m in a predicament and I would like some advice if you’re willing to give.
So I have this friend I’ve known for years and years but she’s been smoking and drinking for ages now and I’ve been guiding, advising her for the past 3 years and she still continues to do it.
I have never done any of the sort and from when we became friends she didn’t either but now She’s just changed completely to even dressing very immodestly and doing these in ramadan too which if I was to ask her years back, she would’ve sworn she’d never go that far
It’s sad seeing her take the path that will only lead her to a state and I’ve tried time and time again, made duas for years and still she’s the same
Even her own parents realised and they always ask about me to her because they know I’m one of the only sincere and “on deen” person she has
I’ve realised now me and her and on different wavelengths, the years she’s been badly influenced by other friends, I’ve actually been moving closer to Islam and as I’ve tried again and again I want to give up now as there’s only so much a person can do
You can only help those who want to be helped and I believe now I don’t want to continue associating myself with her which I also have been as in we don’t speak much anymore and to be honest I’m feeling much better so how should I tell her properly?
Any advice would be appreciated <3
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Ulayyaa
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(Original post by 000throwaway)
salam brothers and sisters -

I’m in a predicament and I would like some advice if you’re willing to give.
So I have this friend I’ve known for years and years but she’s been smoking and drinking for ages now and I’ve been guiding, advising her for the past 3 years and she still continues to do it.
I have never done any of the sort and from when we became friends she didn’t either but now She’s just changed completely to even dressing very immodestly and doing these in ramadan too which if I was to ask her years back, she would’ve sworn she’d never go that far
It’s sad seeing her take the path that will only lead her to a state and I’ve tried time and time again, made duas for years and still she’s the same
Even her own parents realised and they always ask about me to her because they know I’m one of the only sincere and “on deen” person she has
I’ve realised now me and her and on different wavelengths, the years she’s been badly influenced by other friends, I’ve actually been moving closer to Islam and as I’ve tried again and again I want to give up now as there’s only so much a person can do
You can only help those who want to be helped and I believe now I don’t want to continue associating myself with her which I also have been as in we don’t speak much anymore and to be honest I’m feeling much better so how should I tell her properly?
Any advice would be appreciated <3
I'm so sorry for your friend. If you feel you've done enough to bring her back and not working, you're not wrong if want to stop associating yourself with her. I'll probably do the same if on that situation. Better to stay away than keep the potential bad influence.

As for how should you tell her... well, I'm not really good at talking to people, especially in this case. My opinion is, since you two don't speak much anymore, you can just step away slowly. I mean, you don't have to say anything to her that indicates you're not friends anymore or so. Just reduce your interaction and as time goes by, you two wouldn't be associated anymore and walk your own path separately.

I recommend this way because I think, if you say some "declaration", it will make her hurts or even furious and walk further from the deen with an even less chance to coming back. So, just do it silently (I'll do this if I were you).
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Mr.Nameless
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(Original post by 000throwaway)
salam brothers and sisters -

I’m in a predicament and I would like some advice if you’re willing to give.
So I have this friend I’ve known for years and years but she’s been smoking and drinking for ages now and I’ve been guiding, advising her for the past 3 years and she still continues to do it.
I have never done any of the sort and from when we became friends she didn’t either but now She’s just changed completely to even dressing very immodestly and doing these in ramadan too which if I was to ask her years back, she would’ve sworn she’d never go that far
It’s sad seeing her take the path that will only lead her to a state and I’ve tried time and time again, made duas for years and still she’s the same
Even her own parents realised and they always ask about me to her because they know I’m one of the only sincere and “on deen” person she has
I’ve realised now me and her and on different wavelengths, the years she’s been badly influenced by other friends, I’ve actually been moving closer to Islam and as I’ve tried again and again I want to give up now as there’s only so much a person can do
You can only help those who want to be helped and I believe now I don’t want to continue associating myself with her which I also have been as in we don’t speak much anymore and to be honest I’m feeling much better so how should I tell her properly?
Any advice would be appreciated <3
Wa Alaikum As Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh.

Since, you're the only person on deen she has, don't leave her because she'll ultimately lose that one ray of guidance she could see. That way she'll never realise how far she's gone.

Make dua for her and one day, she'll turn back to you. Never feel hopeless after making Dua. No matter how many years have passed by.

Prophet Ayyub PBUH was patient for 40 years before helped arrived.
Prophet Zakariyyah PBUH and Ibrahim PBUH were blessed with kids in a very old age.
Prophet Nuh PBUH called his people towards Allah for 950 years.

Quran says, “Indeed with hardship comes ease”.

I disagree with the point where you said, 'You can only help those who want to be helped'.
If that's the case, how did Amr bin Al Aas (A.S) accept Islam? Wasn't he the one to ask the king of Abyssinia to send the Muslims back?

Hind (A.S) who chew the liver of Hamzah (R.A)
Keep advising her...Make Dua for her and you have your own circle of good friends and let her see how happy and content you're all the time. In case you feel low, don't show that to her. Let her see you're always happy and successful in life.
She'll begin to realise one day.

A few days ago my friend informed me that the mother of one of his Shaykh accepted Islam. Can you imagine? Son has grown up and becomes a Shaykh who's spreading Islam and teaching others and mother remained a disbeliever for a long time. He would be sad and there were times he'd laugh and immediately his face would change when he'd remember his mother.

May Allah make it easy.
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Ulayyaa
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(Original post by Mr.Nameless)
Wa Alaikum As Salam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh.

Since, you're the only person on deen she has, don't leave her because she'll ultimately lose that one ray of guidance she could see. That way she'll never realise how far she's gone.

Make dua for her and one day, she'll turn back to you. Never feel hopeless after making Dua. No matter how many years have passed by.

Prophet Ayyub PBUH was patient for 40 years before helped arrived.
Prophet Zakariyyah PBUH and Ibrahim PBUH were blessed with kids in a very old age.
Prophet Nuh PBUH called his people towards Allah for 950 years.

Quran says, “Indeed with hardship comes ease”.

I disagree with the point where you said, 'You can only help those who want to be helped'.
If that's the case, how did Amr bin Al Aas (A.S) accept Islam? Wasn't he the one to ask the king of Abyssinia to send the Muslims back?

Hind (A.S) who chew the liver of Hamzah (R.A)
Keep advising her...Make Dua for her and you have your own circle of good friends and let her see how happy and content you're all the time. In case you feel low, don't show that to her. Let her see you're always happy and successful in life.
She'll begin to realise one day.

A few days ago my friend informed me that the mother of one of his Shaykh accepted Islam. Can you imagine? Son has grown up and becomes a Shaykh who's spreading Islam and teaching others and mother remained a disbeliever for a long time. He would be sad and there were times he'd laugh and immediately his face would change when he'd remember his mother.

May Allah make it easy.
Well yes, anyway, I also agree with this. If you feel you can keep influence her to come back, then do it. You'll need a lot of patience and strong deen, indeed.

My advice that I posted earlier is for if you feel she makes you frustrated and not good with both your own deen and mental health.
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Mr.Nameless
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(Original post by Ulayyaa)
Well yes, anyway, I also agree with this. If you feel you can keep influence her to come back, then do it. You'll need a lot of patience and strong deen, indeed.

My advice that I posted earlier is for if you feel she makes you frustrated and not good with both your own deen and mental health.
No worries. I don't think I said anything that hurt you or any statement that contradicted your views. Apologies if that happened.

I agree, it needs patience and endurance. Its a long way ahead.
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Ulayyaa
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(Original post by Mr.Nameless)
No worries. I don't think I said anything that hurt you or any statement that contradicted your views. Apologies if that happened.

I agree, it needs patience and endurance. Its a long way ahead.
No, no, I'm not hurt or what. Just think your opinion is also correct and I agree.
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