advice needed <3

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tulipcait
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hi everyone. i kinda need advice right now, if that’s even possible for this situation. my girlfriend, who i have been with for a year and a half now, has recently ended things with me today. her reasons were mainly because of her depression.

it hasn’t been a very good month for the both of us but we always got through her depression together. she’s been and still is whilst making that decision, in a depressive episode and i’ve been struggling with anxiety a lot. she said things were so bad for her right now that she didn’t want a relationship right now, which i totally understand.

we both agreed we should have set boundaries for eachother such as when to talk about how we feel. but she didn’t as she felt her feelings for me fade a little. i dont know if that’s due to her depression and lack of feel for things, because everything was okay apart from the fact we were both struggling and we didn’t set boundaries of when to vent, we just did it.

now i’m unsure of what to do. do i stay by her side and be there for her, hoping things will get better for her and then see what happens? or do i move on completely? even tho i dont think i can do that right now at all.
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JGLM
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Pandemic has shattered a lot of people’s mental health. Coming out the other side it’ll start improving greatly, so stick around but don’t be too clingy and give her some space. She’ll need someone she can trust.

Are you m or f btw?
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tulipcait
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(Original post by JGLM)
Pandemic has shattered a lot of people’s mental health. Coming out the other side it’ll start improving greatly, so stick around but don’t be too clingy and give her some space. She’ll need someone she can trust.

Are you m or f btw?
thankyou, ill be there for her as much as i can. i just really miss her and hope she comes back around. i’m female <3
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JGLM
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(Original post by tulipcait)
thankyou, ill be there for her as much as i can. i just really miss her and hope she comes back around. i’m female <3
Yeah I think if you just check in and make sure she’s alright she’ll appreciate it, not too often just so she knows she has the option to talk if she needs it
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tulipcait
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(Original post by JGLM)
Yeah I think if you just check in and make sure she’s alright she’ll appreciate it, not too often just so she knows she has the option to talk if she needs it
yeah i will thankyou, i just hope once things are clearer for her, maybe we’ll make our way back to eachother. i just need to give her time and support right now.
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JGLM
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(Original post by tulipcait)
yeah i will thankyou, i just hope once things are clearer for her, maybe we’ll make our way back to eachother. i just need to give her time and support right now.
Hope things go well :-)
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tulipcait
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(Original post by JGLM)
Hope things go well :-)
thankyou so much, i really hope so. i asked her yesterday what she preferred in terms of contact and she asked me “are you even sad about it” and i said yes. i hadn’t told her how i felt as i didn’t want to make her feel worse so i told her i was there for her instead. i told her “if it’ll help, i miss you a lot” and she said to me “ill always miss you” and that she really wanted to know how i felt as it wasn’t like me to keep it in. we both said that we’re still the same people we know and haven’t changed and went to sleep after. im hoping that’ll lead things into a lighter direction. i guess i just need to give her time, space and support and when things are brighter for us both, hopefully that’ll bring us together again
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JGLM
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(Original post by tulipcait)
thankyou so much, i really hope so. i asked her yesterday what she preferred in terms of contact and she asked me “are you even sad about it” and i said yes. i hadn’t told her how i felt as i didn’t want to make her feel worse so i told her i was there for her instead. i told her “if it’ll help, i miss you a lot” and she said to me “ill always miss you” and that she really wanted to know how i felt as it wasn’t like me to keep it in. we both said that we’re still the same people we know and haven’t changed and went to sleep after. im hoping that’ll lead things into a lighter direction. i guess i just need to give her time, space and support and when things are brighter for us both, hopefully that’ll bring us together again
I think it’s tricky because you don’t want to seem like you’re begging for her back, but you don’t want to leave her feeling alone either. I’m sure you’ll find a happy middle way.
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tulipcait
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(Original post by JGLM)
I think it’s tricky because you don’t want to seem like you’re begging for her back, but you don’t want to leave her feeling alone either. I’m sure you’ll find a happy middle way.
yeah that’s the thing, i hope so. i just hope we’re together again someday, i can wait. she’s worth it because she loved n treated me so well. but for now i’ll focus on myself whilst keeping in touch with her so i can be even better when shes better
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harlz_chalamet
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hiya! i'm really sorry about what happened!
i think that you shouldn't completely move on, you could mabe check on how she's feeling sometimes? like someone else said, i think she would really appreciate it and know that you do still care about her. (imagine how you would feel if she asked if you were okay when you were at your lowest moment)

i really hope all of this goes well and i wish you the bestest luck xx
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JGLM
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(Original post by tulipcait)
yeah that’s the thing, i hope so. i just hope we’re together again someday, i can wait. she’s worth it because she loved n treated me so well. but for now i’ll focus on myself whilst keeping in touch with her so i can be even better when shes better
My advice, go out, have fun, don’t sit around doing nothing or you’ll just sit there thinking about that and it won’t be healthy for you.
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tulipcait
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(Original post by harlz_chalamet)
hiya! i'm really sorry about what happened!
i think that you shouldn't completely move on, you could mabe check on how she's feeling sometimes? like someone else said, i think she would really appreciate it and know that you do still care about her. (imagine how you would feel if she asked if you were okay when you were at your lowest moment)

i really hope all of this goes well and i wish you the bestest luck xx
thankyou my love, we’ve spoke everyday since surprisingly and she’s been messaging me back and once first which i was really happy about. i can tell shes pushing me away but, im going to be there for her regardless because i know she needs someone there so im going to be that person. xx
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tulipcait
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(Original post by JGLM)
My advice, go out, have fun, don’t sit around doing nothing or you’ll just sit there thinking about that and it won’t be healthy for you.
yeah i will go out and have fun, dont worry. i know my worth. i just get really worried at times that she’ll do something bad, but she should be okay. i wont let myself get to that stage, but i know shes worth hell and back
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JGLM
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(Original post by tulipcait)
yeah i will go out and have fun, dont worry. i know my worth. i just get really worried at times that she’ll do something bad, but she should be okay. i wont let myself get to that stage, but i know shes worth hell and back
What kind of thing might she do?
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tulipcait
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(Original post by JGLM)
What kind of thing might she do?
it sounds terrible but i get scared she may take her life as she has had those thoughts before and she was scared
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tulipcait
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(Original post by tulipcait)
it sounds terrible but i get scared she may take her life as she has had those thoughts before and she was scared
thats why i like to check up on her often n engage with her so i know shes okay and its why i cant just ignore her for days because my mind is like well what if she does it when ur not contacting her
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(Original post by tulipcait)
it sounds terrible but i get scared she may take her life as she has had those thoughts before and she was scared
**** that’s really ****ed. She needs to get some help if that’s the case, medication or therapy or something. You should talk to her about this
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tulipcait
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(Original post by JGLM)
**** that’s really ****ed. She needs to get some help if that’s the case, medication or therapy or something. You should talk to her about this
yeah she takes medication and has done for years and she does have good and bad days, therapy didn’t work for her. i just get scared i guess
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harlz_chalamet
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(Original post by tulipcait)
thankyou my love, we’ve spoke everyday since surprisingly and she’s been messaging me back and once first which i was really happy about. i can tell shes pushing me away but, im going to be there for her regardless because i know she needs someone there so im going to be that person. xx
you honestly seem like such a sweet, great person and i am so happy and proud of you!
honestly, she will really appreciate that xx
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tulipcait
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(Original post by harlz_chalamet)
you honestly seem like such a sweet, great person and i am so happy and proud of you!
honestly, she will really appreciate that xx
aw thankyou so much honestly, it means a lot to me. i really love her and im the only one who knows how much pain she is in so i want to be there no matter what. i cant leave her but thank u sm ❤️
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