Do you care about marriage and would you get married?

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Anonymous #1
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Why do people seem to throw around marriage so easily these days? High divorce rates, poor marriages...

Personally, I see a proposal and marriage as an unbelievably special and flattering thing. I mean, far more than the average person. The very principle of it to me, of liking a person so so much, that you are wanting to bind yourself to them... Almost too incredible for words. Having a symbol on your finger to say I am bound to this person...

Most people don't realise how amazing that bond is to find in life, they trivialise it so so much.

I don't actually see it is a requirement for any relationship. I'm also not religious. It is still just incredible to me because of the principle.

I keep thinking though how I don't think I could ever ask someone else, due to this fact of how highly I regard it and how others don't. I could only accept it if there was deep deep love for the person.

If a woman was to ever ask me... I would be in absolute shock. That would be the most flattering, shocking, and most incredible thing in the world!
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londonmyst
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I probably won't go down the marriage route.
I believe that marriage should be viewed as a binding lifelong commitment between two people and that exclusivity comes with the wedding vows & formal status of a lawful marriage.
My comments are based on the context of the uk, usa, latin america, european nations and other western countries where bigamy is illegal.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by londonmyst)
I probably won't go down the marriage route.
I believe that marriage should be viewed as a binding lifelong commitment between two people and that exclusivity comes with the wedding vows & formal status of a lawful marriage.
My comments are based on the context of the uk, usa, latin america, european nations and other western countries where bigamy is illegal.
Is the idea of it being viewed as a "binding lifelong commitment" due to religious reasons for you? Or just because you have such high regard for it similar to me, a very serious and essentially permanent (if possible!) union?
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Moonlight rain
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Why is getting married SO special? If it’s a true loving relationship, you don’t need marriage to complete the relationship and the commitment shouldn’t change.
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cleveranimal56
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Is the idea of it being viewed as a "binding lifelong commitment" due to religious reasons for you? Or just because you have such high regard for it similar to me, a very serious and essentially permanent (if possible!) union?
I think they mean so that they can have multiple relationships?
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londonmyst
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Is the idea of it being viewed as a "binding lifelong commitment" due to religious reasons for you? Or just because you have such high regard for it similar to me, a very serious and essentially permanent (if possible!) union?
Probably the latter.
There has never been a divorce in my family tree and I won't risk being the first.
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cleveranimal56
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
Why is getting married SO special? If it’s a true loving relationship, you don’t need marriage to complete the relationship and the commitment shouldn’t change.
Imagine marriage as the cement to the bricks of a relationship.
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CoochieMan
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No and no. I wanna be a rich aunt with a bunch of cats and the occasional partner
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Vapordave
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I do care about marriage, but I would only do it if and when I want to settle down somewhere and start a family.
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Moonlight rain
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(Original post by cleveranimal56)
Imagine marriage as the cement to the bricks of a relationship.
I can’t imagine that
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cleveranimal56
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
I can’t imagine that
Oh. Well... :confused:
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ROTL94
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Yes and yes. I can see why some people are against it, especially if they grew up in environments where marriage was presented as something you're obligated to do and have no say in though.
Last edited by ROTL94; 1 month ago
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Joleee
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Why do people seem to throw around marriage so easily these days? High divorce rates, poor marriages...

Personally, I see a proposal and marriage as an unbelievably special and flattering thing. I mean, far more than the average person. The very principle of it to me, of liking a person so so much, that you are wanting to bind yourself to them... Almost too incredible for words. Having a symbol on your finger to say I am bound to this person...

Most people don't realise how amazing that bond is to find in life, they trivialise it so so much.

I don't actually see it is a requirement for any relationship. I'm also not religious. It is still just incredible to me because of the principle.

I keep thinking though how I don't think I could ever ask someone else, due to this fact of how highly I regard it and how others don't. I could only accept it if there was deep deep love for the person.

If a woman was to ever ask me... I would be in absolute shock. That would be the most flattering, shocking, and most incredible thing in the world!
yes everything you said is true. that's why it was so important to same-sex couples to have the right to marry and not just live together or be in a civil partnership

personally no, not interested in marriage or even being in a relationship. too much baggage and abuse in the past. don't trust or like anyone. :nah:
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ReadingMum
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I'm a big fan of marriage with the right person. I waited till I found that person and have now been married for over 20 years.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Moonlight rain)
Why is getting married SO special? If it’s a true loving relationship, you don’t need marriage to complete the relationship and the commitment shouldn’t change.
Why is someone telling you that they want you to be theirs for the rest of their life special? It is incredibly special...

This is the problem I think a lot of people just don't understand what is really going on with marriage... They perceive it as so trivial, it is anything but trivial.

In my view you only have one life... And someone is telling you that they love you so much, that they desire to dedicate their whole life to being with you, and show it on their person (via a ring).

If that is not amazing and special I just don't know what is...
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NonIndigenous
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I don't really care about marriage at all.

I think I agree with the intentions behind why 'marriage' was created, historically. But times have changed, and those intentions are rarely fulfilled today. A lot of people get married due to peer pressure, family pressure, cultural pressure, idealistic thinking, or due to lack of resources, tax breaks, or plain social climbing/gold digging. Out of those that get married for the right reasons, many still get divorced, despite having kids and the impact divorce has on them. Marriage certainly doesn't stop people cheating on one another either.

So, just because two people are married, doesn't mean that they care about one another or the effect which their behavior has on their kids. It certainly doesn't stop them from getting divorced. And everybody knows this by now: 'Marriage', no longer guarantees any real commitment. At all. Which raises the question, why tf so many women still have their minds set on marriage. Men are a little less keen usually.

Equally, two people can learn to genuinely care about one another, stay together, and form healthy family, without marrying at all, or requiring the power of the state to ratify a marriage contract.

So... not really, no, I don't care much about it. I like the idea and original intentions, but majority of people just take the pyss instead, so there really is no point.

EDIT: another pyss-take, is the growing number of people who almost act like getting a high body count is a competition. The types that show absolutely no commitment whatsoever to anything or anyone. Then decide one day that they want to marry and 'settle down' for the rest of their life... when their track record speaks the complete opposite. I judge people by their past actions, not by their words and promises. So... I call bullsh*t on all of those types of people. I am not talking about the occasional sleep over, I am talking about those for whom it is a lifestyle. The real reason most of them want to 'settle down' all of a sudden is because their looks start fading, and they start finding it harder to hook-up with the opposite sex in the same way that they used to. It is desperation, not commitment. Two completely different things.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 1 month ago
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CosmicApathy1
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(Original post by cleveranimal56)
Imagine marriage as the cement to the bricks of a relationship.
But its not
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Lucifer323
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Let's have a look at the Bible and see what is says about marriage...


Ephesians 5:22-33

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word..."

Easy to notice that women must submit their men and in return their men should love them...

The Bible seems to care a lot about marriage and gives us a very interesting interpretation of what the relationship between men and women is within a marriage.
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ReadingMum
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(Original post by Lucifer323)
Let's have a look at the Bible and see what is says about marriage...


Ephesians 5:22-33

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word..."

Easy to notice that women must submit their men and in return their men should love them...

The Bible seems to care a lot about marriage and gives us a very interesting interpretation of what the relationship between men and women is within a marriage.
No - the Bible documents what the relationship was between men and women 2000 years ago. That is not what a modern marriage is all about (unless both parties want it to be).
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Cıllıan
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(Original post by Lucifer323)
Let's have a look at the Bible and see what is says about marriage...


Ephesians 5:22-33

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word..."

Easy to notice that women must submit their men and in return their men should love them...

The Bible seems to care a lot about marriage and gives us a very interesting interpretation of what the relationship between men and women is within a marriage.
Henry VIII created a whole new church just so he could get divorced, doesn't the bible allow it?
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