Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

what is your take on social hierarchy at school?

The obvious answer is that it doesn't matter, that we should not bother about what others think. But, for most school kids, there's that lingering fear of not being liked. If we know it doesn't matter, why do we still (secretly) care?

Reply 1

relivemyyouth

Its a phase and a hierarchy that develops under a particular system ie. the school system. Its totally different at university and different again at work. People ‘popular’ in one system wouldn’t necessarily fit into another.

People used to hate me at school, but at a Russell Group University, I was just another nerdy kid in a place full of academic achievers and became one of the crowd. And again at work in a professional setting, I fitted right in. The ‘cool’ kids at school, a lot of whom didn’t go to university wouldn’t have fitted into these settings at all.

Also its very normal to want to be liked. People are social animals, its literally programmed into you. I’m not sure about your circumstance, but there is a massive world that exists outside school and you will probably find your niche as you get older.

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 2

fallen_acorns

The poster above is right. Every aspect of your life will feature different social arrangements, and in all of them, to some degree there will be a hierarchy of sorts. They aren't the same though, and they change radically as you get older.

The main issue with this at school though is that pupils are still young, and when your young time stretches and things feel like they will last forever. As an adult if you told me that X was going to be my situation for the next 2 years, then I'd say that that feels short and manageable. But as a kid, 2 years is forever, so any problems you face feel so much worse. Couple that with the fact that teenage brains, due to the way they are developing are far more sensitive and aware of social contexts and you get a situation where the problems feel like they are more dramatic and important, and they feel like they may last for a much longer time.

To a teenagers parents the little drama that their child has with their friends is just silly and will end in a few weeks.. but to a teenager going through it, its the most important thing, its their life, and its massive.

So overall, you can't escape the way social groups organize. It's necessary to have that when your young to get you used to dealing socially with people as an adult. The nature of them change throughout your life and depending on your circumstances, but due to your age and the way your brain develops the social situations you find yourself in as a teenager feel the most extreme and often difficult to manage.

Reply 3

abbiej_14

Because we secretly know it does matter. Everyone tells you it doesn't matter for comfort, but for the average person you do want to be liked by people. Yeah its not fun feeling like you are constantly being judged by every little thing but there is nothing you can do.
The thing that doesn't matter is that you aren't on top, not that you shouldn't worry what others think. If you didn't worry about what others think then you would probably be an a**hole that no one wants to be around.