Has he ghosted me?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I've known this guy since my childhood and we liked each other a bit when we were teens. Anyways, after uni we went on a couple of dates and had sex and then he basically ghosted me. Like he cancelled a date by just not replying to my messages. Since then (been about 6 years), we've chatted here and there and I've been in relationships and when they've ended we've been back in touch and gone on a date then I got into a relationship again as he didn't put in any effort. I think I've always liked him despite how he's treated me in the past. I feel like he likes me too but I also feel like he's never put in a lot of effort. He's a good looking guy and must get a lot of female attention. I think he's not been in a relationship and enjoys being single. I just don't know if he just doesn't like me that much or if he's genuinely a commitment phobe.

Anyway, recently we've been chatting again and I went over to his for some drinks. It was a spontaneous thing and we ended up having sex. Since this, he's been texting me regularly and initiated a date where he'd cook for me. The first time, he messaged me saying he has to stay in work late and sort of asked me if I wanted to cancel. He then said he'd promise to make it up to and re-arranged the date. On the day, in the morning, he messaged me a detailed text explaining that he has to go into work on his day off etc and ended it by saying that he definitely wants to see me again soon. However, since this (it's been almost two weeks) he's not really been messaging as frequently and I don't know if he's just letting me down gently or if something genuinely has come up and he's just busy. I last messaged him last week and he did reply and was nice but the convo didn't initiate re-arranging the date.

I just don't know if I should ask him or just accept that he's maybe not too bothered about re-arranging? I just feel a bit disappointed
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
No, just leave this guy. He’s not worth it. All he does is disappear and make you disappointed and feel worthless. This is not good. This is not loving. He’s just a *****y guy so don’t bother. He doesn’t appreciate you and you need a better man.
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Anonymous #2
#3
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#3
And it’s guaranteed that he won’t change
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NonIndigenous
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#4
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He's a flake. Don't bother.
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Nagromicous
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#5
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've known this guy since my childhood and we liked each other a bit when we were teens. Anyways, after uni we went on a couple of dates and had sex and then he basically ghosted me. Like he cancelled a date by just not replying to my messages. Since then (been about 6 years), we've chatted here and there and I've been in relationships and when they've ended we've been back in touch and gone on a date then I got into a relationship again as he didn't put in any effort. I think I've always liked him despite how he's treated me in the past. I feel like he likes me too but I also feel like he's never put in a lot of effort. He's a good looking guy and must get a lot of female attention. I think he's not been in a relationship and enjoys being single. I just don't know if he just doesn't like me that much or if he's genuinely a commitment phobe.

Anyway, recently we've been chatting again and I went over to his for some drinks. It was a spontaneous thing and we ended up having sex. Since this, he's been texting me regularly and initiated a date where he'd cook for me. The first time, he messaged me saying he has to stay in work late and sort of asked me if I wanted to cancel. He then said he'd promise to make it up to and re-arranged the date. On the day, in the morning, he messaged me a detailed text explaining that he has to go into work on his day off etc and ended it by saying that he definitely wants to see me again soon. However, since this (it's been almost two weeks) he's not really been messaging as frequently and I don't know if he's just letting me down gently or if something genuinely has come up and he's just busy. I last messaged him last week and he did reply and was nice but the convo didn't initiate re-arranging the date.

I just don't know if I should ask him or just accept that he's maybe not too bothered about re-arranging? I just feel a bit disappointed
It sounds like he's getting all the female attention he wants and then some. He'll go to you when his preferred options are unavailable. Have some self-respect and move on.
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londonmyst
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#6
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#6
Best to move on and restrict all involvement with this guy to casual friendly chat only.

He's probably airing you while he's chatting with several other potential hookups and fwb.
Most likely to get back in touch with you when the other girls are busy and he wants some convenient casual sex with you.
He's strictly for a tinder one off hookup- not bf or marriage material.
Plenty more single guys in the online dating sea, who will be better options in terms of compatibility and wanting to spend a reasonable amount of time with you.
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JJDB
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've known this guy since my childhood and we liked each other a bit when we were teens. Anyways, after uni we went on a couple of dates and had sex and then he basically ghosted me. Like he cancelled a date by just not replying to my messages. Since then (been about 6 years), we've chatted here and there and I've been in relationships and when they've ended we've been back in touch and gone on a date then I got into a relationship again as he didn't put in any effort. I think I've always liked him despite how he's treated me in the past. I feel like he likes me too but I also feel like he's never put in a lot of effort. He's a good looking guy and must get a lot of female attention. I think he's not been in a relationship and enjoys being single. I just don't know if he just doesn't like me that much or if he's genuinely a commitment phobe.

Anyway, recently we've been chatting again and I went over to his for some drinks. It was a spontaneous thing and we ended up having sex. Since this, he's been texting me regularly and initiated a date where he'd cook for me. The first time, he messaged me saying he has to stay in work late and sort of asked me if I wanted to cancel. He then said he'd promise to make it up to and re-arranged the date. On the day, in the morning, he messaged me a detailed text explaining that he has to go into work on his day off etc and ended it by saying that he definitely wants to see me again soon. However, since this (it's been almost two weeks) he's not really been messaging as frequently and I don't know if he's just letting me down gently or if something genuinely has come up and he's just busy. I last messaged him last week and he did reply and was nice but the convo didn't initiate re-arranging the date.

I just don't know if I should ask him or just accept that he's maybe not too bothered about re-arranging? I just feel a bit disappointed
It’s not worth it, you trusted him with your feelings before and he didn’t appreciate you so he’s not worth your time save yourself and find someone who will bend over backwards for ya
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NonIndigenous
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#8
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#8
Tbh people like him really annoy me. It's just pathetic.

Do you really want to invest yourself in someone who can almost never finish what they start? Can't keep their word on anything? Messes people around, and apparently gets by in the world mostly using his 'good looks' (that's the impression I get)?

I wouldn't. These types of people are a complete nosebleed. Sod him. Sod all of them.
Last edited by NonIndigenous; 1 month ago
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