Why do guys watch porn or only fans when they have a gf

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Shweetyyy
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This question is for the guys, (or anyone that can give me a answer) tell me why you guys have a girlfriend a full on human being with boobs and a bum THATS YOUR GF yet you guys feel the need to go on stuff like only fans ? Or porn or all these other websites with models with such unrealistic real body like with the model hour glass shaped body’s pictures that are obvs edited ( like hip dips are natural it’s NORMAL)

Yet when I am with my bf he shows zero interest in my body the only time he does is when where having sex or I put of a tight body con dress on. He says he loves my body yet he feel the need to watch porn like all these insta models. I don’t get it I need a answer
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StriderHort
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Why do people watch TV when there is people outside?
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Wannabevetnurse
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(Original post by Shweetyyy)
This question is for the guys, (or anyone that can give me a answer) tell me why you guys have a girlfriend a full on human being with boobs and a bum THATS YOUR GF yet you guys feel the need to go on stuff like only fans ? Or porn or all these other websites with models with such unrealistic real body like with the model hour glass shaped body’s pictures that are obvs edited ( like hip dips are natural it’s NORMAL)

Yet when I am with my bf he shows zero interest in my body the only time he does is when where having sex or I put of a tight body con dress on. He says he loves my body yet he feel the need to watch porn like all these insta models. I don’t get it I need a answer
not most girlfriends are comfortable doing the things that he watches. And sometimes, porn gives a different vibe to a gf. It all depends on the person
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anosmianAcrimony
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People in porn look different to normal people and they do things and act in ways real people don’t act. It’s possible he’s sort of into all that. I feel like it’s a bad headspace to be in because it’s just not wholesome or normal - it instills bad conceptualisations of sex.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
People in porn look different to normal people and they do things and act in ways real people don’t act. It’s possible he’s sort of into all that. I feel like it’s a bad headspace to be in because it’s just not wholesome or normal - it instills bad conceptualisations of sex.
Couldn't you say this about ALL fiction though? We're supposed to be able to tell the difference.
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Greekleaf2858
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(Original post by Shweetyyy)
This question is for the guys, (or anyone that can give me a answer) tell me why you guys have a girlfriend a full on human being with boobs and a bum THATS YOUR GF yet you guys feel the need to go on stuff like only fans ? Or porn or all these other websites with models with such unrealistic real body like with the model hour glass shaped body’s pictures that are obvs edited ( like hip dips are natural it’s NORMAL)

Yet when I am with my bf he shows zero interest in my body the only time he does is when where having sex or I put of a tight body con dress on. He says he loves my body yet he feel the need to watch porn like all these insta models. I don’t get it I need a answer
Don’t listen to anyone else, if it makes you uncomfortable you need to tell him and he needs to stop , if he isn’t willing to respect your boundaries leave him. Society paints this picture that it’s so “natural” when was it never natural to get off to another naked girl? It’s hurtful, extremely disrespectful and insensitive. My boyfriend doesn’t watch porn and shows interest in my body and we have an amazing sex life and a good relationship. You deserve your own boundaries , every relationship is different. Don’t let him let you different.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by Greekleaf2858)
Don’t listen to anyone else, if it makes you uncomfortable you need to tell him and he needs to stop , if he isn’t willing to respect your boundaries leave him. Society paints this picture that it’s so “natural” when was it never natural to get off to another naked girl? It’s hurtful, extremely disrespectful and insensitive. My boyfriend doesn’t watch porn and shows interest in my body and we have an amazing sex life and a good relationship. You deserve your own boundaries , every relationship is different. Don’t let him let you different.
How come the OP doesn't have to listen to anyone else but the boyfriend does?
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Couldn't you say this about ALL fiction though? We're supposed to be able to tell the difference.
On a rational level, of course everyone can tell the difference between porn and reality. But there is still some subconscious part of the porn-watcher’s mind that becomes psychologically conditioned to associate sexual gratification with the unrealistic stuff they see onscreen. Then when their partner wants to have sex with them, the stimuli that they experience don’t match what they’re used to experiencing, which makes them less likely and less able to properly take part. That subconscious part of their mind is expecting their partner to look and act like a pornstar, which is just unrealistic, and that expectation gets in the way of really connecting with their partner.

Other fiction isn’t tied to sexual gratification in the same way that porn is, so it doesn’t tend to have the same kind of effect on any part of real life.
Last edited by anosmianAcrimony; 1 month ago
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by Shweetyyy)
This question is for the guys, (or anyone that can give me a answer) tell me why you guys have a girlfriend a full on human being with boobs and a bum THATS YOUR GF yet you guys feel the need to go on stuff like only fans ? Or porn or all these other websites with models with such unrealistic real body like with the model hour glass shaped body’s pictures that are obvs edited ( like hip dips are natural it’s NORMAL)

Yet when I am with my bf he shows zero interest in my body the only time he does is when where having sex or I put of a tight body con dress on. He says he loves my body yet he feel the need to watch porn like all these insta models. I don’t get it I need a answer
To be honest I'm not really okay with this. There are still some guys who won't do this, they just seem few and far between.

Some guys like 'variety' but as a girl that just upsets me because I don't feel that same urge.
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by StriderHort)
How come the OP doesn't have to listen to anyone else but the boyfriend does?
It's making OP uncomfortable so she shouldn't have to put up with it. Different standards for different relationships. If he's that desperate to watch it then he can say that, but I feel it would be disrespectful when it's causing OP distress.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by ashtolga23)
It's making OP uncomfortable so she shouldn't have to put up with it. Different standards for different relationships. If he's that desperate to watch it then he can say that, but I feel it would be disrespectful when it's causing OP distress.
What if being told what he can and cant watch makes him uncomfortable? If they are watching Tv together and there is sexual activity on screen, does he have to leave the room? Does he get a special blindfold? What if he dreams it?

I'm being a bit farcical but yea, this all feels a bit one sided. I just don't think it's a good idea to start policing or overthinking what other people watch outwith extremes, or if push comes to tug, how they get themselves off if there's an itch.
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Kovalensky
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Imagine paying for onlyfans when you have a gf.
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wilfredanani
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(Original post by Kovalensky)
Imagine paying for onlyfans when you have a gf.
maybe they're not satisfied with their gf but dont have the heart to break up
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Kovalensky
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(Original post by wilfredanani)
maybe they're not satisfied with their gf but dont have the heart to break up
There's free stuff everywhere and some people need to stop being so irrational. There's no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship, sooner or later you will have to break up. Better sooner than later.
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wilfredanani
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(Original post by Kovalensky)
There's free stuff everywhere and some people need to stop being so irrational. There's no reason to stay in an unhappy relationship, sooner or later you will have to break up. Better sooner than later.
free stuff as in....?
if the gf not complaining,why you?
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Kovalensky
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(Original post by wilfredanani)
free stuff as in....?
if the gf not complaining,why you?
Free porn.

And who's complaining, I am just feeling superior and boosting my ego.
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wilfredanani
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(Original post by Kovalensky)
Free porn.

And who's complaining, I am just feeling superior and boosting my ego.
ofc,ofc who am i to assume?
so you like porn , just don't like paying.
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wilfredanani
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that's... what?
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Kovalensky
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(Original post by wilfredanani)
ofc,ofc who am i to assume?
so you like porn , just don't like paying.
I don't feel the need to watch porn while I'm with someone but I know plenty of men do. I'm just wondering why pay for onlyfans when you have a gf and free stuff everywhere.

(Original post by wilfredanani)
that's... what?
huh?
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ashtolga23
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(Original post by StriderHort)
What if being told what he can and cant watch makes him uncomfortable? If they are watching Tv together and there is sexual activity on screen, does he have to leave the room? Does he get a special blindfold? What if he dreams it?

I'm being a bit farcical but yea, this all feels a bit one sided. I just don't think it's a good idea to start policing or overthinking what other people watch outwith extremes, or if push comes to tug, how they get themselves off if there's an itch.
People do have their own standards in a relationship. To be fair if a scene like that was on TV I wouldn't exactly want my boyfriend to get too excited because it would be uncomfortable, but the point is it's just something that comes on rather than something he's going out of his way to view.

If people are fine with their partner consuming that kind of material then I won't judge that, but I won't judge them not being either.

There are certain things you request your partner does and doesn't do when you're in a relationship. It's generally accepted that most people won't want you to kiss another person when you're dating someone. This is just another standard like that, only there's more debate around it. Like I tried to say before in my comment, if OP's boyfriend is too uncomfortable then he can leave or he can stand his ground, but I don't think there's anything wrong with this preference.
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