Personality vs Looks

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maisieanne
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How important are looks to? Can they be a **** but have their looks make up for it? at what point are you just scraping for looks
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OctoberRain7
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People can be bad looking but make up for it in personality, but imo it doesn't work the other way around. Idc what someone looks like if they're not a fundamentally good person because they're not worth wasting my time on.
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by OctoberRain7)
People can be bad looking but make up for it in personality, but imo it doesn't work the other way around. Idc what someone looks like if they're not a fundamentally good person because they're not worth wasting my time on.
^^ This
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anosmianAcrimony
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I’ve met people with physical features that were average or even ugly, but because they were just really kind and animated and funny, the force of their personality shone through and made them actually really attractive.

Conversely I’ve met people where I thought at first glance, ’’wow, they’re really beautiful’’, and then they opened their mouth and made clear they were really awful and I’ve been like ’’oh, eww.’’

I’d absolutely consider dating the first kind of person but wouldn’t ever date the second.
Last edited by anosmianAcrimony; 1 month ago
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Gavin2016
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End of the day those with good looks likely get dates the easiest. People who have extrovert personality probably do so also so long as they don't look ugly looking. I'm not saying that an ugly looking person has no chance of getting a date but looking at those around you when at secondary school, uni, etc those that are good looking are normally dating often.

I think women get away with not being as good looking more than men even though most men primarily place looks high in importance. Dating apps & websites tend to favour looks most as the person often has little chance to put themselves across without being based on their looks in their profile photos up front. That said I think it differs a little in what people find attractive in terms of looks but an ugly looking person will struggle more than others.

To my mind being overweight tends to lower how attractive a person looks in terms of the other sex viewing them. I don't think personality can offset being overweight issues and it negatively affecting looks. If overweight the best thing to do is to tackle the problem if being overweight by eating pretty much only healthy food in my opinion.

I mean put it this way if a girl is overweight and not getting any dates/real male interest and thinking her personality can hook them but is still getting none them there is your answer.

A real nasty personality can negate a person with good looks but I don't think most good looking people are that bad. Odds are because they get treated better by others they often find it easier to do well interacting with others. Though most good looking people are likely looking for something in exchange for their good looks if dating them I think, only logical I guess.
Last edited by Gavin2016; 1 month ago
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Justaboutalive
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Well i am definitely more of a personality person, they just start to look beautiful to me if they are nice people.
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Bang Outta Order
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Looks is most important. Personality backs it up. Like, I can befriend someone unattractive who happens to have a great personality. But date and make kids? idk. There always needs to be physical redeemable qualities. Like you smell bad but your body is insane

or have acne, eczema, idk but your face and hair drives me mad

But you still need a good personality or interesting lifestyle and hobbies.
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Cıllıan
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Both are important to me. Personality more important. Gotta have at least 10/10 personality and 7.5/10 looks
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ThatOldGuy
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Beauty is only skin-deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone.
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ANM775
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(Original post by OctoberRain7)
People can be bad looking but make up for it in personality, but imo it doesn't work the other way around. Idc what someone looks like if they're not a fundamentally good person because they're not worth wasting my time on.
(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
^^ This

funny how people say that when asked, but then in actual reality this happens..

http://i.imgur.com/HCUrPUa.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/GcGihfg.jpg
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by ANM775)
funny how people say that when asked, but then in actual reality this happens..

http://i.imgur.com/HCUrPUa.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/GcGihfg.jpg
Hey I wasn’t suggesting there aren’t shallow, foolish people out there. We’re just not them
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OctoberRain7
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(Original post by ANM775)
funny how people say that when asked, but then in actual reality this happens..

http://i.imgur.com/HCUrPUa.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/GcGihfg.jpg
It's funny, because those are two different kinds of people. Personally I never engage romantically with people who I think wouldn't treat me right, knowing someone is a bad person means I can hardly even find their face attractive anyway. I also love the incel terminology in the posts!
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ANM775
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
Hey I wasn’t suggesting there aren’t shallow, foolish people out there. We’re just not them
(Original post by OctoberRain7)
It's funny, because those are two different kinds of people. Personally I never engage romantically with people who I think wouldn't treat me right, knowing someone is a bad person means I can hardly even find their face attractive anyway. I also love the incel terminology in the posts!
Well... I don't know any of you both on a personal level so can't really comment on you individually, but the women who msg people like that on dating sites would never admit how little personality means to them in a forum because you never see it on forums, but on dating sites stuff what is displayed in the links is common.



I also did a mini experiment using my own profile (I'm not quite as good looking as a model, but seem to be somewhat popular with black girls online) and i deliberately sent them first contact messages that were kinda rude, and many STILL replied.



I told one muslim girl that she actually shouldn't be on the site because of her faith and told her to get off ...and she literally just giggled and tried to start a convo
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Kovalensky
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(Original post by ANM775)
funny how people say that when asked, but then in actual reality this happens..

http://i.imgur.com/HCUrPUa.jpg


http://i.imgur.com/GcGihfg.jpg
Another thing we should note is that this is who you'd have sex with, not who you'd have a relationship with. To me however even then it's extreme cos I wouldn't want to have sex with a sex offender.

But in general, if she's attractive, I can have sex with her even if she's not a good human being (within limits tho, these examples are extreme) or her personality is bland/etc. Having sex with someone can mean nothing. A relationship however is very different.
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OctoberRain7
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(Original post by ANM775)
Well... I don't know any of you both on a personal level so can't really comment on you individually, but the women who msg people like that on dating sites would never admit how little personality means to them in a forum because you never see it on forums, but on dating sites stuff what is displayed in the links is common.



I also did a mini experiment using my own profile (I'm not quite as good looking as a model, but seem to be somewhat popular with black girls online) and i deliberately sent them first contact messages that were kinda rude, and many STILL replied.



I told one muslim girl that she actually shouldn't be on the site because of her faith and told her to get off ...and she literally just giggled and tried to start a convo
Dating sites are just bad in general, they encourage people to only care about looks (as you can't really convey personality in a dating profile, most of what you get are visuals) and tend to attract a bad crowd. I'm not sure how reliable your "experiment" can be said to be seeing as most people are going to reply to messages on a dating app just for attention and honestly "kinda rude" is pretty standard for straight men on dating apps anyway so most women are just desensitised at this point. At most (ignoring that this is anecdotal), you found that people can indeed be superficial, which goes both ways might I add.
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ANM775
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(Original post by OctoberRain7)
Dating sites are just bad in general, they encourage people to only care about looks (as you can't really convey personality in a dating profile, most of what you get are visuals) and tend to attract a bad crowd. I'm not sure how reliable your "experiment" can be said to be seeing as most people are going to reply to messages on a dating app just for attention and honestly "kinda rude" is pretty standard for straight men on dating apps anyway so most women are just desensitised at this point. At most (ignoring that this is anecdotal), you found that people can indeed be superficial, which goes both ways might I add.
I don't date men so I don't know about men, but when it comes to women.. if they actually reply, they're not replying for attention ..it's because they're interested.
In london maybe 2 or 3% of white girls I msg will reply. with black girls it's around 40-50%. Doesn't take much to figure out why this is the case (given that i'm a black guy)

If the women does not find you attractive then she is not replying to anything you say. she'll ignore you, or block you. period.


and I personally have knocked up a few fake women profiles out of curiosity just to see the type of stuff women get sent at them and men aren't rude. I was actually surprised to be honest as i've heard women complain at times but i wasn't receiving any rude messages.

and yes, probably men are "superfecicial" too to some extent. but as i don't date men i can only comment about experiences with women....

this is how women rate my looks on dating sites:
https://i.postimg.cc/254Y7jCk/ratings2020.png


They either tend to find me quite attractive, or wouldn't go near me with a barge pole.
I have found personality does not make any difference online or in real life. If she "likes" me then it's typically right from the start regardless of personality. If she doesn't like me then also "personality" will tend to have no effect and even if you get on really well and she laughs at my all my jokes she'll not want to date.
Last edited by ANM775; 1 month ago
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Justaboutalive)
Well i am definitely more of a personality person, they just start to look beautiful to me if they are nice people.
Even if they look like short ugly hobbits??
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Justaboutalive
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(Original post by Lucifer323)
Even if they look like short ugly hobbits??
Find me a short ugly hobbit first lol.
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Justaboutalive)
Find me a short ugly hobbit first lol.
I am sure you can find one when you look around. There are short ugly hobbits everywhere in this world. And sometimes they are agressive too!
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JoshDarnIt_
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Looks are what draw me in, personality is what keeps me there.

If you're a 10/10 lass with the personality of a fish then I ain't gonna keep you around.
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