22 & never had a boyfriend

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Anonymous #1
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For different reasons, I've never found myself in a relationship. Been through various talking stages particularly over the past few years of 6 months or so, but it always ends in nothing.

I'm getting to the age where I just want to settle down, but it feels like everyone is either in relationships or I just can't find anyone. I don't want to sound dramatic or get sympathy, but just wondering if anyone else is experiencing similar things and if you have any advice?

Feel like atm as well it's very limited on being able to go out and meet people, so may be why it's feeling worse
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ecolier
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
...I'm getting to the age where I just want to settle down, but it feels like everyone is either in relationships or I just can't find anyone. I don't want to sound dramatic or get sympathy, but just wondering if anyone else is experiencing similar things and if you have any advice?...
You're only 22, that's still really young.

Make sure you're not desperate and you don't make mistakes - it's not a race, and you'll want to be with the right person.

:goodluck:
Last edited by ecolier; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
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I'm 21, not had a girlfriend and I'm looking for one. I'm just upset because I don't have any female friends either
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Anonymous #3
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I’m 22, never had a girlfriend or anything else and never even reached the talking stage either lol. I think it’s becoming more common with our generation, especially with social media and dating apps giving people choice to essentially keep ‘shopping around’. Most people aren’t having as much sex either, even pre pandemic.

I feel you, all my friends have partners and every girl I meet seems to be taken.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ecolier)
You're only 22, that's still really young.

Make sure you're not desperate and you don't make mistakes - it's not a race, and you'll want to be with the right person.

:goodluck:
Thank you, I appreciate this

For the first time in a long time, I feel content being single. I do just want to find the right person, a lot of these past experiences I feel like they've been wrong and I knew they wouldn't last. I know it will happen at some point but still can't help questioning it a bit
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ecolier
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you, I appreciate this

For the first time in a long time, I feel content being single. I do just want to find the right person, a lot of these past experiences I feel like they've been wrong and I knew they wouldn't last. I know it will happen at some point but still can't help questioning it a bit
Oh of course, it's normal to long for a loving relationship.

However, just make sure you're not hurrying things because (if you're a girl) you're bound to have attention, and the difficulty is "who's the right guy".

So, take it slow and don't be desperate - and I am hopeful you'll find the one for you
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 21, not had a girlfriend and I'm looking for one. I'm just upset because I don't have any female friends either
I feel this, I'm the same (but opposite way round) I have no guy friends and have a very small group of close friends, so it does feel very limited.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m 22, never had a girlfriend or anything else and never even reached the talking stage either lol. I think it’s becoming more common with our generation, especially with social media and dating apps giving people choice to essentially keep ‘shopping around’. Most people aren’t having as much sex either, even pre pandemic.

I feel you, all my friends have partners and every girl I meet seems to be taken.
Thank you, it's actually so nice to know that other people are experiencing similar things (and I massively feel what you are saying here) It's a hard one, also the whole social media adds a lot of insecurities for people as well.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel this, I'm the same (but opposite way round) I have no guy friends and have a very small group of close friends, so it does feel very limited.

Thank you, it's actually so nice to know that other people are experiencing similar things (and I massively feel what you are saying here) It's a hard one, also the whole social media adds a lot of insecurities for people as well.
Same here. Is your height OK? Do you have good personality? Im quite short and girls don't like that. I'm quiet and nervous as well
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Same here. Is your height OK? Do you have good personality? Im quite short and girls don't like that. I'm quiet and nervous as well
yeah, I'm 5'8 so my heights never been a problem and tbh I do find it kinda crazy that people judge each other on height, I think if you click with a person it's kinda irrelevant.

and personality I can be confident once I get to know a person, but kinda prior to that I can be quite quiet.I think that's sometimes my downfall and what a lot of people seem to want, is a massively out there, confident person
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah, I'm 5'8 so my heights never been a problem and tbh I do find it kinda crazy that people judge each other on height, I think if you click with a person it's kinda irrelevant.

and personality I can be confident once I get to know a person, but kinda prior to that I can be quite quiet.I think that's sometimes my downfall and what a lot of people seem to want, is a massively out there, confident person
You are tall, a lot of men like tall girls, you'll find a guy soon hopefully
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Kerzen
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(Original post by Anonymous)
For different reasons, I've never found myself in a relationship. Been through various talking stages particularly over the past few years of 6 months or so, but it always ends in nothing.

I'm getting to the age where I just want to settle down, but it feels like everyone is either in relationships or I just can't find anyone. I don't want to sound dramatic or get sympathy, but just wondering if anyone else is experiencing similar things and if you have any advice?

Feel like atm as well it's very limited on being able to go out and meet people, so may be why it's feeling worse
Oh gosh, 22? That is so young.

I see that you mention wanting to settle down but wasn't sure whether you meant that you were hoping to get married in the next couple of years.

For what it's worth, the average age for women marrying for the first time in the UK is roughly 32, a decade older than you are now.

As far as advice is concerned, I think that what I would say to someone of 22 is that she should concentrate on laying the foundations of other areas of her life. This sounds like saying 'forget about relationships' but it's actually the opposite, because an unexpected result of starting a degree, getting a great job, finding a super flat can often be meeting new people and, very often, meeting someone who is exactly what you are looking for. The bonus is that, if you don't meet that person at this juncture, the work you are putting in is laying the foundations for a better chance of this happening later on.

For what it's worth, attractive people of both sexes are very often busy people with an interest in their studies/jobs and a range of interests. If you add warmth, thoughtfulness and cheerfulness to the mix, you have one very appealing person.

Something which is less appealing in people is when they are hell-bent on homing in on someone/anyone. The sad thing is that they tend to obsess on this and they become the opposite of the desirable person I described above.

The attitude to take and it is one you can share with other people is that you are very happy now, with things to do and places to go; yes, at some point, it will be nice to meet a great guy, but that will happen in its own good time.

You will be surprised how attractive a woman with this attitude can be, so adopt this tack; I think that it will be the route to where you want to be.
Last edited by Kerzen; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #4
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I feel you, OP. I'm also 22 and haven't been in a relationship or even been kissed. It used to bother me more, but now I'm like, it will happen when it happens. It can be a bit lonely sometimes, though. I haven't tried dating apps yet or put myself out there too much. I was planning to, but then the pandemic happened.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kerzen)
Oh gosh, 22? That is so young.

I see that you mention wanting to settle down but wasn't sure whether you meant that you were hoping to get married in the next couple of years.

For what it's worth, the average age for women marrying for the first time in the UK is roughly 32, a decade older than you are now.

As far as advice is concerned, I think that what I would say to someone of 22 is that she should concentrate on laying the foundations of other areas of her life. This sounds like saying 'forget about relationships' but it's actually the opposite, because an unexpected result of starting a degree, getting a great job, finding a super flat can often be meeting new people and, very often, meeting someone who is exactly what you are looking for. The bonus is that, if you don't meet that person at this juncture, the work you are putting in is laying the foundations for a better chance of this happening later on.

For what it's worth, attractive people of both sexes are very often busy people with an interest in their studies/jobs and a range of interests. If you add warmth, thoughtfulness and cheerfulness to the mix, you have one very appealing person.

Something which is less appealing in people is when they are hell-bent on homing in on someone/anyone. The sad thing is that they tend to obsess on this and they become the opposite of the desirable person I described above.

The attitude to take and it is one you can share with other people is that you are very happy now, with things to do and places to go; yes, at some point, it will be nice to meet a great guy, but that will happen in its own good time.

You will be surprised how attractive a woman with this attitude can be, so adopt this tack; I think that it will be the route to where you want to be.
thank you thank you


I know this is the right way to go about it and I think this is really what I need to focus on. But you honestly don't understand how reassuring this is to hear, thank you for taking the time to say all this 🙏
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel you, OP. I'm also 22 and haven't been in a relationship or even been kissed. It used to bother me more, but now I'm like, it will happen when it happens. It can be a bit lonely sometimes, though. I haven't tried dating apps yet or put myself out there too much. I was planning to, but then the pandemic happened.
Yes completely, we've just gotta believe it will happen when the time is right

I have tried dating apps a bit since we've been in lockdown, and I find them difficult to actually have a decent conversation with someone, although I did meet someone off one for a couple of months, but it's very difficult as you can't really connect or tell if there is a spark unless you meet and talk for months on end and even then it can end in nothing. I know there are some people who have met and got into a successful relationship, and even married off them, but from personal experience I'm not the biggest fan and a lot of times people's intentions aren't dating on there too.
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Lucifer323
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(Original post by Anonymous)
For different reasons, I've never found myself in a relationship. Been through various talking stages particularly over the past few years of 6 months or so, but it always ends in nothing.

I'm getting to the age where I just want to settle down, but it feels like everyone is either in relationships or I just can't find anyone. I don't want to sound dramatic or get sympathy, but just wondering if anyone else is experiencing similar things and if you have any advice?

Feel like atm as well it's very limited on being able to go out and meet people, so may be why it's feeling worse
22 and want to settle down?!
Are you ok?!
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 21, not had a girlfriend and I'm looking for one. I'm just upset because I don't have any female friends either
Perhaps you 2 should meet up then...
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Lucifer323)
22 and want to settle down?!
Are you ok?!

Perhaps you 2 should meet up then...
Yeah

Ayo op do you want to meet up
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TFEU
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm getting to the age where I just want to settle down, but it feels like everyone is either in relationships or I just can't find anyone. I don't want to sound dramatic or get sympathy, but just wondering if anyone else is experiencing similar things
Ive been in relationships before but I do relate to this.

Idk whether it’s my exam-season-crazy-talk, but settling down and starting a family sounds quite appealing 😂. Especially after seeing everyone else in serious relationships.

Honestly, I think it’s best not to feel too impatient or dejected. I genuinely believe the right person will come at the right time. This is uncharacteristically optimistic of me but what else can we do?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah

Ayo op do you want to meet up
hahaha it's an anon thread...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Lucifer323)
22 and want to settle down?!
Are you ok?!

Perhaps you 2 should meet up then...
no maybe I should have cleared this up...when I said settle down, I mean just get into a relationship with kinda "the one" or more in a long term sense that you see at some point a future with them and settle down in that sense. I am no where near ready for marriage or babies hahaha
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