Flatmate tells me I'm disrupting his sleep, what should I do?

Watch
Chocatoo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
I've been living in my student house since October 2020 with a guy, and our other flatmates have essentially come for a short while and returned home for extended periods. Anyway, we quickly figured out that the walls are stupidly thin (like, I can hear the people in the house next to us). Problem is, as my flatmate has the room below mine, we can hear each other sometimes and the stairs can be quite loud in both our rooms.
This isn't much of an issue during the day but at night we've had problems from essentially day 1. He likes to go to sleep earlier than me and wake up earlier. However, my degree requires me to put in long hours and I tend to work better at night, so I am always asleep after him. This can be as early as 12ish am to as late as 3am. Of course, I'm not making loud noises, essentially I am usually typing on my laptop, walking round my room occasionally, and using the stairs to use the bathroom on the floor below me (no bathroom on my floor). He had complained to me a lot of times and recently he's been complaining every night. I'm already creeping round my room, moving things gently and as little as possible to prevent noise, and creeping down the stairs to avoid them being too loud. However, he still complains that he's not sleeping well. I don't really know what else to do except go to bed when he does, but I feel like I'm doing plenty on my side and I shouldn't have to do that when I pay as much as he does for the house (essentially, it's my room so I should be able to do what I want, within reason). I'm pretty fed up right now and I'm fed up of pandering to him. What would you do if you were me?
Note to add: I also get disrupted by him playing music during 9-5 hours sometimes and a lot more frequently after 5 when I'm trying to work, but I don't complain about it because I feel like he should be able to do what he wants in his room and I can usually work through it as its not too loud. Would I be petty if I kept complaining to him about his music in retaliation? Also, I'm not living with him again next year and will never be living with him again so I'm not concerned about ruining a future house dynamic.
Last edited by Chocatoo; 4 weeks ago
0
reply
University of Salford
Badges: 11
Rep:
?
#2
Report 3 weeks ago
#2
(Original post by Chocatoo)
I've been living in my student house since October 2020 with a guy, and our other flatmates have essentially come for a short while and returned home for extended periods. Anyway, we quickly figured out that the walls are stupidly thin (like, I can hear the people in the house next to us). Problem is, as my flatmate has the room below mine, we can hear each other sometimes and the stairs can be quite loud in both our rooms.
This isn't much of an issue during the day but at night we've had problems from essentially day 1. He likes to go to sleep earlier than me and wake up earlier. However, my degree requires me to put in long hours and I tend to work better at night, so I am always asleep after him. This can be as early as 12ish am to as late as 3am. Of course, I'm not making loud noises, essentially I am usually typing on my laptop, walking round my room occasionally, and using the stairs to use the bathroom on the floor below me (no bathroom on my floor). He had complained to me a lot of times and recently he's been complaining every night. I'm already creeping round my room, moving things gently and as little as possible to prevent noise, and creeping down the stairs to avoid them being too loud. However, he still complains that he's not sleeping well. I don't really know what else to do except go to bed when he does, but I feel like I'm doing plenty on my side and I shouldn't have to do that when I pay as much as he does for the house (essentially, it's my room so I should be able to do what I want, within reason). I'm pretty fed up right now and I'm fed up of pandering to him. What would you do if you were me?
Note to add: I also get disrupted by him playing music during 9-5 hours sometimes and a lot more frequently after 5 when I'm trying to work, but I don't complain about it because I feel like he should be able to do what he wants in his room and I can usually work through it as its not too loud. Would I be petty if I kept complaining to him about his music in retaliation? Also, I'm not living with him again next year and will never be living with him again so I'm not concerned about ruining a future house dynamic.
Hi Chocatoo,

It sounds like you're being incredibly conscientious and the issue might be with your flatmate being a light/poor sleeper, rather than you disturbing him. If you have bare floorboards in your room then a cheap rug might help a little, but if not, there's really not much that you can do other than learn to fly to avoid causing any noise as you move around!

If there's only the 2 of you in the house and its really quiet, then that might be why it seems like you're being so noisy to him - perhaps suggest that he tries sleeping with some white noise in the background (there's loads of playlists on Spotify - rain, fire, waves etc) and if all else fails, treat him to a packet of these

Good luck!

Alison
University of Salford
0
reply
PhoenixFortune
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#3
Report 3 weeks ago
#3
(Original post by Chocatoo)
I've been living in my student house since October 2020 with a guy, and our other flatmates have essentially come for a short while and returned home for extended periods. Anyway, we quickly figured out that the walls are stupidly thin (like, I can hear the people in the house next to us). Problem is, as my flatmate has the room below mine, we can hear each other sometimes and the stairs can be quite loud in both our rooms.
This isn't much of an issue during the day but at night we've had problems from essentially day 1. He likes to go to sleep earlier than me and wake up earlier. However, my degree requires me to put in long hours and I tend to work better at night, so I am always asleep after him. This can be as early as 12ish am to as late as 3am. Of course, I'm not making loud noises, essentially I am usually typing on my laptop, walking round my room occasionally, and using the stairs to use the bathroom on the floor below me (no bathroom on my floor). He had complained to me a lot of times and recently he's been complaining every night. I'm already creeping round my room, moving things gently and as little as possible to prevent noise, and creeping down the stairs to avoid them being too loud. However, he still complains that he's not sleeping well. I don't really know what else to do except go to bed when he does, but I feel like I'm doing plenty on my side and I shouldn't have to do that when I pay as much as he does for the house (essentially, it's my room so I should be able to do what I want, within reason). I'm pretty fed up right now and I'm fed up of pandering to him. What would you do if you were me?
Note to add: I also get disrupted by him playing music during 9-5 hours sometimes and a lot more frequently after 5 when I'm trying to work, but I don't complain about it because I feel like he should be able to do what he wants in his room and I can usually work through it as its not too loud. Would I be petty if I kept complaining to him about his music in retaliation? Also, I'm not living with him again next year and will never be living with him again so I'm not concerned about ruining a future house dynamic.
If the house has poor sound proofing, there is only so much you can do to prevent being heard. Has your flatmate considered using earplugs at night?
0
reply
Chocatoo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#4
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#4
(Original post by University of Salford)
Hi Chocatoo,

It sounds like you're being incredibly conscientious and the issue might be with your flatmate being a light/poor sleeper, rather than you disturbing him. If you have bare floorboards in your room then a cheap rug might help a little, but if not, there's really not much that you can do other than learn to fly to avoid causing any noise as you move around!

If there's only the 2 of you in the house and its really quiet, then that might be why it seems like you're being so noisy to him - perhaps suggest that he tries sleeping with some white noise in the background (there's loads of playlists on Spotify - rain, fire, waves etc) and if all else fails, treat him to a packet of these

Good luck!

Alison
University of Salford
Hi Alison, these are all great ideas. There’s actually 4 of us but they’re both on the floor below him. Tonight, I also got a rude message telling me that I’d woken him up the night before an exam I didn’t remember that he had. I also crept up the stairs and brushed my teeth tonight and that was it. I will suggest these tomorrow to him when I have a conversation about how he addressed me. I think this conversation is long overdue as I have been in fear of him all year.
0
reply
Chocatoo
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#5
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
If the house has poor sound proofing, there is only so much you can do to prevent being heard. Has your flatmate considered using earplugs at night?
According to another flatmate, he does have earplugs, but I don’t know if this is true or not. I wonder if he is just a very very light sleeper
0
reply
HoldThisL
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#6
Report 2 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Chocatoo)
I'm not making loud noises, essentially I am usually typing on my laptop, walking round my room occasionally, and using the stairs to use the bathroom on the floor below me (no bathroom on my floor) ...I also get disrupted by him playing music during 9-5 hours sometimes
i think he sort of has no case here, given you've already made reasonable adjustments
0
reply
PhoenixFortune
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#7
Report 2 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by Chocatoo)
According to another flatmate, he does have earplugs, but I don’t know if this is true or not. I wonder if he is just a very very light sleeper
Either his ear plugs are very poor quality, or he isn't being quite truthful. He may not want to have do anything himself, and puts it all on you to make changes.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Who is winning Euro 2020

France (106)
27.53%
England (130)
33.77%
Belgium (30)
7.79%
Germany (41)
10.65%
Spain (8)
2.08%
Italy (34)
8.83%
Netherlands (13)
3.38%
Other (Tell us who) (23)
5.97%

Watched Threads

View All