Pakistani family and boys

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Asha_m
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There's this boy in my year who's quite nice, and we've been chatting on the way home from school as we live in the same building. He gave me his number, and I think he wants to move into something more than friendship. My parents are quite liberal Pakistanis (my mum got her nose pierced to piss her folks as a teen) but my grandparents are conservatives who disapprove of almost everything, but they love me and try to understand my long nails and ripped jeans. However, there's no doubt that if they hear of me and a boy that they'll consider me a disgrace.

My father also respects them and never vocally disagrees with anything they say. I'm confused as to what to do. Do I lie and hide the relationship, or just leave it? I know that if I don't take this opportunity, I won't have the courage to do anything 'rebellious' in my life again.
Please help.

EDIT: some people with the audacity to criticise me for my mother's Jewish ancestry seem to have turned against me on an Israel - Palestine basis. I do not support what's happening there at ALL, I really don't, but some absolute pricks have turned this into a sort of religious/Zionist debate
Last edited by Asha_m; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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it isnt haram to have a boyfriend and talk to men


it is haram to have sex
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fenton484
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(Original post by Asha_m)
There's this boy in my year who's quite nice, and we've been chatting on the way home from school as we live in the same building. He gave me his number, and I think he wants to move into something more than friendship. My parents are quite liberal Pakistanis (my mum got her nose pierced to piss her folks as a teen) but my grandparents are conservatives who disapprove of almost everything, but they love me and try to understand my long nails and ripped jeans. However, there's no doubt that if they hear of me and a boy that they'll consider me a disgrace.

My father also respects them and never vocally disagrees with anything they say. I'm confused as to what to do. Do I lie and hide the relationship, or just leave it? I know that if I don't take this opportunity, I won't have the courage to do anything 'rebellious' in my life again.
Please help.
Who cares what your grandparents think. None of their business. Go for it
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Anonymous #1
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if u want to be a muslim, u can have a boyfriend


ex is haram. u can do that if u want but it is haram
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Anonymous #1
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*sex
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fenton484
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(Original post by Anonymous)
it isnt haram to have a boyfriend and talk to men


it is haram to have sex
"haram to talk to men" mate, dust yourself down sort your life out, my muslim mates do all sorts, there are far more pressing things for Allah to deal with than a girl talking to a boy
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Asha_m
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(Original post by fenton484)
Who cares what your grandparents think. None of their business. Go for it
It's just that I've grown tired of them dictating my life, but still can't bring myself to actively tell lies.
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Anonymous #2
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Hi,

Considering your mom is more liberal you could choose to tell her about you and the boy especially if you start dating exclusively and then later become boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe keep it quite from your dad and grandparents for the time being as it is not serious yet.

If all goes well with you and this boy and you consider marriage then perhaps your mom could break the news but, only when you are certain that marriage is on the cards for the pair of you.
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fenton484
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(Original post by Anonymous)
if u want to be a muslim, u can have a boyfriend


ex is haram. u can do that if u want but it is haram
she never even mentioned sex
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by fenton484)
"haram to talk to men" mate, dust yourself down sort your life out, my muslim mates do all sorts, there are far more pressing things for Allah to deal with than a girl talking to a boy
yeah it is allowed in islam to talk to boys, date etc ... how else will u get to interact
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fenton484
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(Original post by Asha_m)
It's just that I've grown tired of them dictating my life, but still can't bring myself to actively tell lies.
You don't have to say anything if they don't ask
Last edited by fenton484; 4 weeks ago
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Asha_m
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(Original post by Anonymous)
if u want to be a muslim, u can have a boyfriend


ex is haram. u can do that if u want but it is haram
I know that, I didn't come for a lecture
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by fenton484)
Who cares what your grandparents think. None of their business. Go for it
Thats easier said than done especially in asian households
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Wannabevetnurse
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Just do it.
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fenton484
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he's a nutter XD
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Asha_m)
I know that, I didn't come for a lecture
well go get a boyfriend then. why did u make this thread ?
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fenton484
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(Original post by Anonymous)
well go get a boyfriend then. why did u make this thread ?
she's asking because her grandparents may not approve, not to seek Islam's validation
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thats easier said than done especially in asian households
even for muslims, having a boyfriend is easy just tell ur parents u are going out with friends
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fenton484
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(Original post by Anonymous)
even for muslims, having a boyfriend is easy just tell ur parents u are going out with friends
Well they might raise a few eyebrows if she invites some boy round and they're up in the bedroom
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Talon
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(Original post by Asha_m)
I know that if I don't take this opportunity, I won't have the courage to do anything 'rebellious' in my life again.
I think you know what you want to do. As much as it is good to respect the opinions of your family, you need to be able to live your own life.
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