My boyfriend doesn’t know what he wants

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Anonymous #1
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My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 year and a half. We’ve been living together for almost a year. I thought our relationship was going great and honestly had my heart set on our future together. I thought we were both happy and secure, and felt in my heart he was the person who made me feel complete. I thought he felt the same and he’s given no indication he felt otherwise. Out sex life has always been fantastic! But, the past few weeks he’s been rejecting intimacy often and I’ve only been the one making a move. Last night I asked him what was going on; I thought he wasn’t sexually attracted to me or didn’t love me anymore. He told me he is sexually attracted to me and still loves me, but isn’t happy and doesn’t know if he wants to renew our home tenancy in a couple of months. He told me that being intimate didn’t feel right as he didn’t want to lead me on with him not knowing. I was taken by absolute shock as we’ve spoken out our future together recently. I don’t understand what’s going on, and genuinely feel gutted and as though my lives being turned upset down. Can someone tell me what might be going through his mind?
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Anonymous #2
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Not going to lie. I similarly told my partner recently that I'm not happy and I need some time off. Maybe it's just his way of dealing with things. I mean, he still cares about you. Maybe he is un-happy about something external to the relationship. Give him time. Hopefully he'll come around. If not, prompt him, reassure him that you're there for him and that he can talk to you about anything. Im sure you guys will be fine.
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Eustudent04
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 2 year and a half. We’ve been living together for almost a year. I thought our relationship was going great and honestly had my heart set on our future together. I thought we were both happy and secure, and felt in my heart he was the person who made me feel complete. I thought he felt the same and he’s given no indication he felt otherwise. Out sex life has always been fantastic! But, the past few weeks he’s been rejecting intimacy often and I’ve only been the one making a move. Last night I asked him what was going on; I thought he wasn’t sexually attracted to me or didn’t love me anymore. He told me he is sexually attracted to me and still loves me, but isn’t happy and doesn’t know if he wants to renew our home tenancy in a couple of months. He told me that being intimate didn’t feel right as he didn’t want to lead me on with him not knowing. I was taken by absolute shock as we’ve spoken out our future together recently. I don’t understand what’s going on, and genuinely feel gutted and as though my lives being turned upset down. Can someone tell me what might be going through his mind?
Congratulations! This is the second phase of your relationship. Your boyfriend really started thinking about your future together. He is scared now!!! It is normal. The usual story for 99% of men. Tell him that you understand him and feel the same. Tell him that it may be wrong to hurry up and you should give space to each other. DO NOT PANIC! DO NOT CRY! Be sweet and mysterious. Ask him what he wants to do. If he doesn’t want to live together, it is much better for you (you shouldn’t have moved with him anyway). Start spending time with your friends, be happy not miserable. Be always busy. No sex with him, with other men either (will make the things worse). Do not push him. If he really loves you he will be back. Otherwise he has been just using you all this time. Cheer up! Life is beautiful! This is not a problem. It is your lesson.
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JaseyB
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Sounds as if he still loves you but isn't sure that he is in love with you.
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