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My (ex) blocked me on social media after we had sex and I can't move on

Hi everyone!

Ex into parentheses because I have never been in an actual relationship with this guy.

We had a quick story months ago after we started talking through a uni groupchat. I developed a big crush on him and he told me that he liked me, we decided to meet and I lost my virginity to him this day but it went too fast for him and we both weren't ready for a relationship at the time, plus we had a pregnancy scare after this, so we « broke up » on good terms. I asked him not to stay in touch, what we did.

Last month, 4 months after the « breakup », there was a party at the place where he lives and I was invited. At some point all my friends left, but I was drunk and panicked because I didn’t know where to stay the night. This, in addition to the effects of alcohol on my hormones (hehehe), made me text him on Snapchat and ask if he wanted to have sex.

He told me it wasn’t a good idea to see each other after what we’ve been through, with me being drunk and him sober, that things will be messy again. He said that I should think through it more and talk to him about this when I was sober or in the morning. I said that it was fine, that it was only for one night, and that I was over him. He finally told me that he could « give me a bed » but that nothing could happen and that I had to leave as soon as I wake up. I agreed.

Once I arrived in his flat, we went on his bed and he opened Netflix in his computer. We played a show but obviously there was a big sexual tension so we ended up having sex.

It was literally awful afterwards because he told me that he was trying to forget about our story and that me popping up and us having sex again was a huge mistake. I also cried at some point, realizing that I wasn’t actually over him. We had a weird argument about our whole relationship and why it failed. We promised that we’ll never talk again and didn’t sleep well.

When I left in the morning, we hugged each other and he told me "have fun hating me" as a goodbye.

I thought that things were cool but apparently not. He blocked me on Snapchat 24 hours after. And a few days later, I uploaded a story on Instagram and as soon as he saw it, he blocked me on Instagram as well. He didn’t block me on Facebook, but we both don’t use it anyways.

One month has passed and I’m still not over it. What messes with my mind the most is that he hasn’t blocked his ex, who apparently has been terribly mean to him post-breakup, but he blocked me.

I would like to have some external reactions about this situation :smile:

Reply 1

JGLM

He sounds a bit immature to be honest. Blocking people is such a childish thing to do - i’d only block someone who’s harassing me/spamming.
Try and move on, talk to new people, go out with friends :wink:

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Original post by JGLM

I think the exact opposite. I think it's mature of him to cut someone out of his life who he knows he shouldn't have in his life. If he didn't block her, the same thing would probably end up happening a few months from now again.

Reply 3

Kanairee

From an outsider's perspective it sounds like he's trying to put some distance between the two of you. It could be for many reasons, maybe he's got some residual feelings there too and blocking you on these things is his way of moving on and around it, maybe it's because he feels that if the avenue for you to contact him existed you might end up in a similar situation again, so he thinks it's best for both of you. Maybe he genuinely believes you might 'hate him' because you had such negative experiences with him and doesn't want to be present, for both or either of your sakes. In all honesty, it's a lot of speculation and aside from straight up asking him why he blocked you in the first place and hoping for an honest answer, you're never really going to know the truth. And if you did ask, that would be clearly going against his wishes since he has made a significant effort to cut off contact. So....I guess the question you have to ask yourself is do you think it's worth asking him and crossing that line to get closure, or do you think with time and distance you might be able to move on without it?

Reply 4

Bexjw

Sounds like he wasn’t ready for a relationship and you were too much. He was sober but gave in and you had sex. He didn’t sound like he actually wanted too initially and that he knew it would give you more hope where there was none. Eventually, he gave in. He’s blocked you to stop the contact and any other possibilities of sex/ drunk texts. I’d take the hint and move on. He literally said “have fun hating me” because he knows you want more and he doesn’t.

Reply 5

Cryoraptor

It's pretty simple to me. He will always have sexual feelings for you but he knows you don't work together and trying to be friends will not work in the long run so he's trying to move on as fast as possible. I suggest that you should probably do the same. In time you'll meet new people.