confused about sexuality??

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Anonymous #1
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hi, im pretty sure im bisexual but i never had the opportunity to date girls because my family are homophobic, and when i did date guys, i could never stay with them for longer than a month because i got bored being with them. am i a lesbian, aromantic or bisexual person?
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SlaveofAll
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Seems like you date guys out of obligation and not because you want it
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by SlaveofAll)
Seems like you date guys out of obligation and not because you want it
i thought that too. i did have an initial attraction to them i think but then after dating them i got bored really quickly and broke up with them. my longest relationship with a guy was 3 months and i hated it so maybe i am a lesbian or maybe i didn't find the right guy
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anosmianAcrimony
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You could be bisexual and easily bored, or you could be bisexual and homoromantic (i.e. you’re attracted to guys and gals but not interested in romance with guys), or theoretically you could be lesbian if your dating with guys was more out of a feeling of obligation.

At this point, don’t feel that you need to label yourself. Just pay attention to your feelings and things will become more clear in time. Whatever orientation you are, your feelings are legitimate and you’re a valid person who deserves to be happy.
Last edited by anosmianAcrimony; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
You could be bisexual and easily bored, or you could be bisexual and homoromantic (i.e. you’re attracted to guys and gals but not interested in romance with guys), or theoretically you could be lesbian if your dating with guys was more out of a feeling of obligation.

At this point, don’t feel that you need to label yourself. Just pay attention to your feelings and things will become more clear in time. Whatever orientation you are, your feelings are legitimate and you’re a valid person who deserves to be happy.
thank you : )
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becausethenight
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hi, im pretty sure im bisexual but i never had the opportunity to date girls because my family are homophobic, and when i did date guys, i could never stay with them for longer than a month because i got bored being with them. am i a lesbian, aromantic or bisexual person?
It could be lots of things, really - maybe you just didn't like the guys you were dating, even!

It sounds like you're pretty sure you're bi but feel like you maybe need to have dated both guys and girls to 'prove' that? This is a really common feeling for queer people (but how do I know if I'm REALLY gay if I haven't X, Y, Z) and I think it's something that we work on over time, build confidence, and get more solid in our identities. After all, straight people never seem to feel the need to prove they're really straight.

It sounds like your home enviromnent is quite tough and it can be really hard to build an identity when you have those contraints on you - remember, you have lots of time! I'm still not sure exactly what I want to call myself after years and years of thinking about it and having to be OK with that. The goal of a label is to have something that makes you happy and helps you navigate life, not reveal the ultimate truth about you.

:goodluck:
Last edited by becausethenight; 4 weeks ago
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OctoberRain7
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Nobody on TSR can tell you what your feelings are or what your sexuality is, we can try to help at best. How old are you and have you ever had a serious romantic crush?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by OctoberRain7)
Nobody on TSR can tell you what your feelings are or what your sexuality is, we can try to help at best. How old are you and have you ever had a serious romantic crush?
im 17 and i thought it was serious but when i date the boys i get bored. i have had crushes on girls but i could never date them bc my family are homophobes and i don't want to be disowned. i have a crush on a girl now and she likes me back i think but i cant date her :c
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OctoberRain7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
im 17 and i thought it was serious but when i date the boys i get bored. i have had crushes on girls but i could never date them bc my family are homophobes and i don't want to be disowned. i have a crush on a girl now and she likes me back i think but i cant date her :c
It sounds like you're bi tbh. A lot of the time we get crushes on people when a relationship with them wouldn't actually work out, but that doesn't mean the attraction isn't still there. You'd likely find the same problem with boredom in lesbian relationships as well, it just feels different now because you can't be in them.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by OctoberRain7)
It sounds like you're bi tbh. A lot of the time we get crushes on people when a relationship with them wouldn't actually work out, but that doesn't mean the attraction isn't still there. You'd likely find the same problem with boredom in lesbian relationships as well, it just feels different now because you can't be in them.
but that means i can't have a proper relationship with anyone :c
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OctoberRain7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
but that means i can't have a proper relationship with anyone :c
Nah, you'll just need to go through a lot of people who you're incompatible with like anyone else. I'd imagine things will be different when you're a bit older and more mature as well.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by OctoberRain7)
Nah, you'll just need to go through a lot of people who you're incompatible with like anyone else. I'd imagine things will be different when you're a bit older and more mature as well.
ok thank you
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
hi, im pretty sure im bisexual but i never had the opportunity to date girls because my family are homophobic, and when i did date guys, i could never stay with them for longer than a month because i got bored being with them. am i a lesbian, aromantic or bisexual person?
I think you might be demisexual. Demisexual people only feel sexually attracted to someone when they have an emotional bond with the person. If you didn't feel connected with the person you were dating then that would explain why you got bored. The word “demi” means half which can mean halfway between sexual and asexual. They can be gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual, and have any gender identity. Perhaps you are bisexual and demisexual? I felt like this for a long time, and I still get really confused with myself sometimes, but I hope this helps, reply if you wanna ask anything about this!
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snowball_cat
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It’s perfectly normal to be confused and unsure of your sexual orientation. Sometimes people deny their preferences because of things like social stigma, religion, family etc. The best way is to experiment to see what you’re comfortable with. You don’t have to stick to a single label (there are a lot) and if you want, you don’t have to identify as one! Some find labels restricting.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think you might be demisexual. Demisexual people only feel sexually attracted to someone when they have an emotional bond with the person. If you didn't feel connected with the person you were dating then that would explain why you got bored. The word “demi” means half which can mean halfway between sexual and asexual. They can be gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual, and have any gender identity. Perhaps you are bisexual and demisexual? I felt like this for a long time, and I still get really confused with myself sometimes, but I hope this helps, reply if you wanna ask anything about this!
it does help thanks : )

(Original post by snowball_cat)
It’s perfectly normal to be confused and unsure of your sexual orientation. Sometimes people deny their preferences because of things like social stigma, religion, family etc. The best way is to experiment to see what you’re comfortable with. You don’t have to stick to a single label (there are a lot) and if you want, you don’t have to identify as one! Some find labels restricting.
i find them confusing so i just stuck bisexual on myself bc i knew what it was
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