Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
It was just about what I am doing in September and she wants me to go university. I'm done with her trying to make me go university because I have told her literally atleast 100 times constantly that I'm not going to going because I don't want and she keeps saying it.

I have mentioned apprenticeship which might be hard to get on but I'd rather be aiming towards one than going university ruining my finances. I did consider it but I don't like the whole idea, she wants me to go in accommodation and won't let me compromise that I stay at home I don't want to go university in the first place and I even more don't want to go accommodation. I don't want to go, I don't know what she doesn't get, I've said countless times being polite but she just brings me information on university, at this point I think she might have issues like understanding difficulties or something because I have told her 100 on times at least no and she turns around with uni uni uni. I don't want to go its not hard to understand. I'd rather wait a bit longer for something I want than get something straight in September. I don't how to stop her going on about stupid university. It's really* ****ing pissing me off now. I work atm just delivering takeaways part time so I'm getting income still.
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SharonMoxon
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
It was just about what I am doing in September and she wants me to go university. I'm done with her trying to make me go university because I have told her literally atleast 100 times constantly that I'm not going to going because I don't want and she keeps saying it.

I have mentioned apprenticeship which might be hard to get on but I'd rather be aiming towards one than going university ruining my finances. I did consider it but I don't like the whole idea, she wants me to go in accommodation and won't let me compromise that I stay at home I don't want to go university in the first place and I even more don't want to go accommodation. I don't want to go, I don't know what she doesn't get, I've said countless times being polite but she just brings me information on university, at this point I think she might have issues like understanding difficulties or something because I have told her 100 on times at least no and she turns around with uni uni uni. I don't want to go its not hard to understand. I'd rather wait a bit longer for something I want than get something straight in September. I don't how to stop her going on about stupid university. It's really* ****ing pissing me off now. I work atm just delivering takeaways part time so I'm getting income still.
Be kind, she's thinking of your long term prospects. Could it be that she is struggling financially and you living at home would stretch her further? TBH it would look like you're much more determined if you actually set something up, job/college/Apprenticeship etc, show you're mature. If not, what's the plan? Your only option would be claiming UC-is that what you really want? TALK to her instead of ranting at her-money is just money, you won't start paying it back until you meet the earnings threshold and debt is something we all learn to live with-house/car etc. I do agree that Uni is not the answer for everyone though, just be pro-active about what you'll do instead-time is very short now-my s/son graduated 30 June 2020 and that's only a few weeks away
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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(Original post by SharonMoxon)
Be kind, she's thinking of your long term prospects. Could it be that she is struggling financially and you living at home would stretch her further? TBH it would look like you're much more determined if you actually set something up, job/college/Apprenticeship etc, show you're mature. If not, what's the plan? Your only option would be claiming UC-is that what you really want? TALK to her instead of ranting at her-money is just money, you won't start paying it back until you meet the earnings threshold and debt is something we all learn to live with-house/car etc. I do agree that Uni is not the answer for everyone though, just be pro-active about what you'll do instead-time is very short now-my s/son graduated 30 June 2020 and that's only a few weeks away
I just don’t want to go university and that should be it. I keep speaking trust me like I have said I have spoken that I don't want to go atleast 100 times literally at this point I think she must have something wrong like an understanding problem or something like I don't want to go uni wtf that should be it first time
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Muttley79
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It was just about what I am doing in September and she wants me to go university. I'm done with her trying to make me go university because I have told her literally atleast 100 times constantly that I'm not going to going because I don't want and she keeps saying it.

I have mentioned apprenticeship which might be hard to get on but I'd rather be aiming towards one than going university ruining my finances. I did consider it but I don't like the whole idea, she wants me to go in accommodation and won't let me compromise that I stay at home I don't want to go university in the first place and I even more don't want to go accommodation. I don't want to go, I don't know what she doesn't get, I've said countless times being polite but she just brings me information on university, at this point I think she might have issues like understanding difficulties or something because I have told her 100 on times at least no and she turns around with uni uni uni. I don't want to go its not hard to understand. I'd rather wait a bit longer for something I want than get something straight in September. I don't how to stop her going on about stupid university. It's really* ****ing pissing me off now. I work atm just delivering takeaways part time so I'm getting income still.
Apply for something other than uni e.g. an apprenticeship. While you have no plan this nagging will continue ...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Muttley79)
Apply for something other than uni e.g. an apprenticeship. While you have no plan this nagging will continue ...
I've got plans and everything like I have a job now so if I don't get the apprenticeship then I will just carry on with my job now until I do get an one which there is nothing wrong with, it's better than going university where I will be unhappy and getting myself in dept
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Muttley79
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've got plans and everything like I have a job now so if I don't get the apprenticeship then I will just carry on with my job now until I do get an one which there is nothing wrong with, it's better than going university where I will be unhappy and getting myself in dept
You actually applied? Show her that you are applying to several - a student loan isn't a conventional 'debt' btw. You are correct in saying uni is not for everyone
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Muttley79)
You actually applied? Show her that you are applying to several - a student loan isn't a conventional 'debt' btw. You are correct in saying uni is not for everyone
I've tried pretending to apply to the apprenticeship and she believed it but she was just like no go to uni. I've not actually applied yet because I am going to wait until September and have a few months break and I work part time etc. Student loan isn't dept tbf but I mean I don't want be paying loads of money off in the future for something I didn't want to do and I will just have to keep paying money
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username5752988
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It was just about what I am doing in September and she wants me to go university. I'm done with her trying to make me go university because I have told her literally atleast 100 times constantly that I'm not going to going because I don't want and she keeps saying it.

I have mentioned apprenticeship which might be hard to get on but I'd rather be aiming towards one than going university ruining my finances. I did consider it but I don't like the whole idea, she wants me to go in accommodation and won't let me compromise that I stay at home I don't want to go university in the first place and I even more don't want to go accommodation. I don't want to go, I don't know what she doesn't get, I've said countless times being polite but she just brings me information on university, at this point I think she might have issues like understanding difficulties or something because I have told her 100 on times at least no and she turns around with uni uni uni. I don't want to go its not hard to understand. I'd rather wait a bit longer for something I want than get something straight in September. I don't how to stop her going on about stupid university. It's really* ****ing pissing me off now. I work atm just delivering takeaways part time so I'm getting income still.
You are a legal adult now, so she cannot force you to stay in education. Show her that you have been applying for apprenticeships.

This might be one of those things where she is living her uni fantasy through you. Like how you hear about the parents who force their kids to do sports so that they themselves feel fulfilled. But that is conjecture.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Figureitoutmate)
You are a legal adult now, so she cannot force you to stay in education. Show her that you have been applying for apprenticeships.

This might be one of those things where she is living her uni fantasy through you. Like how you hear about the parents who force their kids to do sports so that they themselves feel fulfilled. But that is conjecture.
I've tried everything trust me she won't listen
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've tried pretending to apply to the apprenticeship and she believed it but she was just like no go to uni. I've not actually applied yet because I am going to wait until September and have a few months break and I work part time etc. Student loan isn't dept tbf but I mean I don't want be paying loads of money off in the future for something I didn't want to do and I will just have to keep paying money
I would start applying now for something to start in September - this will stop the nagging. Trust me ...
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username5752988
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've tried everything trust me she won't listen
No I get it to be fair.

I think its just one of those things which you have to push through until you get an apprenticeship. I'm hoping that she stops after you have one.

But if not, then I would move out in your position unless she had a mental health disorder in which case see a doctor.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Muttley79)
I would start applying now for something to start in September - this will stop the nagging. Trust me ...
I've just said I have tried pretending I've applied now to an apprenticeship and she believed but was like no
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Figureitoutmate)
No I get it to be fair.

I think its just one of those things which you have to push through until you get an apprenticeship. I'm hoping that she stops after you have one.

But if not, then I would move out in your position unless she had a mental health disorder in which case see a doctor.
I could move out with other family members but she probably can still do it even if I don't go university this year she'll say next year go and every year
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username5752988
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I could move out with other family members but she probably can still do it even if I don't go university this year she'll say next year go and every year
What about going no contact?
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Muttley79
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've just said I have tried pretending I've applied now to an apprenticeship and she believed but was like no
She can't stop you ... please just start a proper application. I'm a teacher and a mum and get where she is coming from but don't agree with her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Figureitoutmate)
What about going no contact?
For what?
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username5752988
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(Original post by Anonymous)
For what?
In an effort to stop the harrassing behaviour. If his mum won't let it go, a break would do some good and might signal how frustrated it makes him feel.
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Anonymous #1
#18
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#18
(Original post by Muttley79)
She can't stop you ... please just start a proper application. I'm a teacher and a mum and get where she is coming from but don't agree with her.
She will still nag me trust me this is what I am trying to say whatever I do she'll carry on
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SharonMoxon
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've just said I have tried pretending I've applied now to an apprenticeship and she believed but was like no
Pretending to apply won't get you anywhere. I also think waiting til September may lessen your chances. Are you able to pay your way at home on PT wages? If so, no issue. Have you actually discussed how much she's expecting from you? It will surely be less than living alone but I'd imagine, depending on here you live, she'd be looking at 200-500 pcm. If you're ok for money then as someone has suggested, move out and be independent. Finally, what can she actually do-frogmarch you to the door? I'm pretty old now but surely you'd have needed to have applied by now and secured a provisional place?
Finally, what do you want to do long-term? You are very young and have a long life ahead of you, but good luck with your plans and your mum
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by SharonMoxon)
Pretending to apply won't get you anywhere. I also think waiting til September may lessen your chances. Are you able to pay your way at home on PT wages? If so, no issue. Have you actually discussed how much she's expecting from you? It will surely be less than living alone but I'd imagine, depending on here you live, she'd be looking at 200-500 pcm. If you're ok for money then as someone has suggested, move out and be independent. Finally, what can she actually do-frogmarch you to the door? I'm pretty old now but surely you'd have needed to have applied by now and secured a provisional place?
Finally, what do you want to do long-term? You are very young and have a long life ahead of you, but good luck with your plans and your mum
I don't know though I might decide I don't want to do an apprenticeship and just carry on with the job I do now I'm going to think. She's just going to carry on, she keeps coming in my room at home with the laptop and information on university. She ordered this booklet thing about uni as well and actually paid for it
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