How to tell a guy you just want to be friends?

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Anonymous #1
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I met this guy online he’s sweet but not my type and idk i just want to be friends but he keeps mentioning like going places together and at the time i agreed because i thought he knew we was JUST friends but now he’s like i want to book somewhere nice for us to stay and I’m getting vibes he thinks it’s something more..... i really don’t wanna hurt his feelings but i feel awkward talking to him now... especially as we’ve planned to go to this event later in the year.
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Zarek
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I guess you have to tell him clearly where he stands
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Zarek)
I guess you have to tell him clearly where he stands
Easier said than done
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Qxi.xli
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Easier said than done
I've had to do this before too, it is quite painful. Just tell them as nicely as possible ig.
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JaseyB
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Easier said than done
You are doing it online? That should be pretty easy just be prepared for him to walk away though. Just be straight up with him but gentle - something along the lines of - "You know we are just friends, right ?"
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Qxi.xli)
I've had to do this before too, it is quite painful. Just tell them as nicely as possible ig.
it’s not even i don’t ever wanna talk again i just wanna be friends ! But i know what guys are like when they get “rejected”
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Chief Wiggum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I met this guy online he’s sweet but not my type and idk i just want to be friends but he keeps mentioning like going places together and at the time i agreed because i thought he knew we was JUST friends but now he’s like i want to book somewhere nice for us to stay and I’m getting vibes he thinks it’s something more..... i really don’t wanna hurt his feelings but i feel awkward talking to him now... especially as we’ve planned to go to this event later in the year.
Just be honest with him and say you want to be friends. No other option really lol.
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Katya_93
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I've been in this situation quite a bit, that because you're nice to a guy, he thinks there's more involved when there just isn't.
You don't want to hurt their feelings, but you don't want to lead them on either.
Recently I had a situation where someone in a delicate state wanted to be more than friends and every time I tried to stress a friendship, things got deeper until I had to snap.

I would suggest having the 'I'm not looking for a relationship at all, with anyone, I'm glad you're a good friend and I enjoy talking to you' chat. Stress the first 2. Because if you let it continue it'll just end up more stressful. If he doesn't understand from there, you just have to be blunt. There's really nothing else you can do.
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ANM775
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(Original post by Katya_93)
I would suggest having the 'I'm not looking for a relationship at all, with anyone, I'm glad you're a good friend and I enjoy talking to you' chat. Stress the first 2. Because if you let it continue it'll just end up more stressful. If he doesn't understand from there, you just have to be blunt. There's really nothing else you can do.

What if OP is looking for a relationship though, just not with him..

I don't think it would go down too well if she said that to him then shortly after started dating someone else. If OP and the guy were still friends at that point then the friendship would soon fall apart with that...........
Last edited by ANM775; 4 weeks ago
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Chief Wiggum
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(Original post by ANM775)
What if OP is looking for a relationship though, just not with him..

I don't think it would go down too well if she said that to him then shortly after started dating someone else. If OP and the guy were still friends at that point then the friendship would soon fall apart with that...........
Agree. Better not to lie in that way. You can be honest and tell the guy you just want to be friends without trying to pretend that you have zero interest in being in a relationship with anyone at all.
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Katya_93
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(Original post by ANM775)
What if OP is looking for a relationship though, just not with him..

I don't think it would go down too well if she said that to him then shortly after started dating someone else. If OP and the guy were still friends at that point then the friendship would soon fall apart with that...........
Then OP needs to cater it to her situation. Mine would be 'not interested in anyone'.
Tbh, I'm a bit of an emotional wuss anyway and will try to do anything to get out of those situations.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Katya_93)
I've been in this situation quite a bit, that because you're nice to a guy, he thinks there's more involved when there just isn't.
You don't want to hurt their feelings, but you don't want to lead them on either.
Recently I had a situation where someone in a delicate state wanted to be more than friends and every time I tried to stress a friendship, things got deeper until I had to snap.

I would suggest having the 'I'm not looking for a relationship at all, with anyone, I'm glad you're a good friend and I enjoy talking to you' chat. Stress the first 2. Because if you let it continue it'll just end up more stressful. If he doesn't understand from there, you just have to be blunt. There's really nothing else you can do.
(Original post by ANM775)
What if OP is looking for a relationship though, just not with him..

I don't think it would go down too well if she said that to him then shortly after started dating someone else. If OP and the guy were still friends at that point then the friendship would soon fall apart with that...........
100%! We have mutual interests that’s what started the convo and then he randomly started asking to go to stuff and i was like we get on (friend wise) so why not? Like i genuinely seen him as a good friend. Then he started asking about where we could stay and in my head i was like on my own in my hotel room! I’ve literally just messaged him now saying i don’t want to give the wrong intentions to him

About being in a relationship well yeah i do but with the right person and i thought i made it clear i didn’t want anything more to begin with. I am speaking to another guy it’s early stages but i don’t see why that matters? It’s not like i was playing him because for all i knew we was just friends!
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I met this guy online he’s sweet but not my type and idk i just want to be friends but he keeps mentioning like going places together and at the time i agreed because i thought he knew we was JUST friends but now he’s like i want to book somewhere nice for us to stay and I’m getting vibes he thinks it’s something more..... i really don’t wanna hurt his feelings but i feel awkward talking to him now... especially as we’ve planned to go to this event later in the year.
Don’t long it out or lead him on. I’m sure he would much rather prefer if you just told him.
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Celtic Conjurer
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Poor dude doesn’t know he’s about to be brotherzoned : ((
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Celtic Conjurer)
Poor dude doesn’t know he’s about to be brotherzoned : ((
don’t make me feel bad 🥺
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Chief Wiggum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
don’t make me feel bad 🥺
lmao you shouldn't feel bad. You have done the right thing by being honest with him.
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