People instantly hate me social anxiety

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi I have social anxiety since I was cyber bullied at 11 and was very shy so I didn’t have friends throughout most of my teams.
I’ve learned to love myself, overcome my fear and talk despite feeling like I’m gonna die (every time im around people my heart races, my palms sweat, I can’t breathe)
But I’m talking to people anyway, despite my fear - and have become quite self confident - thing is after all these years of isolation I don’t know how to talk with people - maybe I weird them out idk imo I act pretty normal, my family thinks so too

But yeah people are weird around me, fake smiles, feel embarrassed like I’m a small child or just are reserved; therapy hasn’t helped;

Thing is people don’t even get to know me; when I’m nervous they one time they will be weird around me forever
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Final Fantasy
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I have anxiety too. It’s a bit difficult for people to hate me when I actively avoid other people and have been doing so for the past 10 years at least. Much prefer my own company - all my hobbies and interests do not require other people anyway. Introverted by nature as well, so it’s all good.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Final Fantasy)
I have anxiety too. It’s a bit difficult for people to hate me when I actively avoid other people and have been doing so for the past 10 years at least. Much prefer my own company - all my hobbies and interests do not require other people anyway. Introverted by nature as well, so it’s all good.
Hi, that’s interesting, because people literally hate me. It’s difficult to avoid people at uni because you actually have to live with them - just think it’s sucks that people judge anxiety and don’t even get to know someone - as if my whole personality is the 10 minutes I’ve talked to someone
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yeetouttawindow
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for them to hate you then something must have seriously gone wrong
if you struggle with interacting then how can you trust your judgement on reading how they respond to you?
you cant please everyone. some folk will dislike you. just gotta find the right people
Last edited by yeetouttawindow; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi, that’s interesting, because people literally hate me. It’s difficult to avoid people at uni because you actually have to live with them - just think it’s sucks that people judge anxiety and don’t even get to know someone - as if my whole personality is the 10 minutes I’ve talked to someone
That must be so difficult, especially as you have to live with them. I struggle with social anxiety too (though I can hide it from most people pretty well so I can make friends with people -though it makes me irritable so I do sometimes flip out). Tbh I know it's hard, but seeing as you haven't done anything wrong I think those people were just not meant for you, it's ultimately there loss if they don't want to get to know you. That's the way I try to think about it anyway. You will find people who will make the effort, even if those people aren't 🙂
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by yeetouttawindow)
for them to hate you then something must have seriously gone wrong
if you struggle with interacting then how can you trust your judgement on reading how they respond to you?
you cant please everyone. some folk will dislike you. just gotta find the right people
That’s the thing - it’s not about pleasing people; I like myself and I don’t need anyone to like me; I’m not shy, it’s just anxiety that I can’t control like a fight or flight response - and because of this people don’t want to get to know me in the first place - I don’t know; sometimes I can be relaxed and then I get along with my people but especially with big groups I just freeze
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That must be so difficult, especially as you have to live with them. I struggle with social anxiety too (though I can hide it from most people pretty well so I can make friends with people -though it makes me irritable so I do sometimes flip out). Tbh I know it's hard, but seeing as you haven't done anything wrong I think those people were just not meant for you, it's ultimately there loss if they don't want to get to know you. That's the way I try to think about it anyway. You will find people who will make the effort, even if those people aren't 🙂
Thanks for your response How do you hide it from other people? I think it’s interesting because I don’t know whether others can actually see it or not (my psychologist for example said she can’t see it; others said they think I’m insecure while others say the opposite!!).
What is irritating is when I think I don’t let it show, I act talkative etc but I don’t click with people anyway; most of the times everything worked out but sometimes the whole conversation feels forced/ fake/ as if there’s something I can’t sense; I don’t understand whether people get what social anxiety is at all
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks for your response How do you hide it from other people? I think it’s interesting because I don’t know whether others can actually see it or not (my psychologist for example said she can’t see it; others said they think I’m insecure while others say the opposite!!).
What is irritating is when I think I don’t let it show, I act talkative etc but I don’t click with people anyway; most of the times everything worked out but sometimes the whole conversation feels forced/ fake/ as if there’s something I can’t sense; I don’t understand whether people get what social anxiety is at all
Your welcome 🙂! That's really interesting, idk how I hide it tbh, I just fake confidence, and then once I get to know the person better and/or we become friends, the conversation flows more naturally and I don't feel so anxious. Though I don't have complete control over it, sometimes I have to leave the room when my anxiety gets too much. Yeah, I can relate, sometimes it is so forced, but when I feel its forced all the time I just think it's better to not be close with that person/those people, cause I hate forcing myself to be fake, and well some people just don't vibe each other, no ones fault. I agree, some people really misunderstand social anxiety and just label it as shyness, when it's so much more. You don't even have to be shy to have it.
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Anonymous #2
#9
Report 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi I have social anxiety since I was cyber bullied at 11 and was very shy so I didn’t have friends throughout most of my teams.
I’ve learned to love myself, overcome my fear and talk despite feeling like I’m gonna die (every time im around people my heart races, my palms sweat, I can’t breathe)
But I’m talking to people anyway, despite my fear - and have become quite self confident - thing is after all these years of isolation I don’t know how to talk with people - maybe I weird them out idk imo I act pretty normal, my family thinks so too

But yeah people are weird around me, fake smiles, feel embarrassed like I’m a small child or just are reserved; therapy hasn’t helped;

Thing is people don’t even get to know me; when I’m nervous they one time they will be weird around me forever
That sucks, but you find someone who will make the effort to get to know you (and not act weird), and if people don't want to its their loss, not yours.
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