I’m failing at life

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Ellipsyss
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#1
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I’m on my second year at uni on a fine art course and I’m failing miserably because my mental health during lockdown has caught up with me. I’m tanking really bad to the point I can’t sleep at night, It doesn’t help that my sister committed suicide on the same course in the same year 4 years ago. I don’t feel any passion or drive towards my subject anymore and have no job I’m aspiring towards but if I’m not doing art what where all these years of studying art for. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore I feel like a failure to myself and my family. I want to feel happy again, I wish I could reset this year. None of my family have gotten through uni and my parents don’t feel any sympathy for me ... I only have 1 friend in a different country. The negative thoughts won’t go away.
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FlowerSun78
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(Original post by Ellipsyss)
I’m on my second year at uni on a fine art course and I’m failing miserably because my mental health during lockdown has caught up with me. I’m tanking really bad to the point I can’t sleep at night, It doesn’t help that my sister committed suicide on the same course in the same year 4 years ago. I don’t feel any passion or drive towards my subject anymore and have no job I’m aspiring towards but if I’m not doing art what where all these years of studying art for. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore I feel like a failure to myself and my family. I want to feel happy again, I wish I could reset this year. None of my family have gotten through uni and my parents don’t feel any sympathy for me ... I only have 1 friend in a different country. The negative thoughts won’t go away.
Talk to your GP or the university. My academic tutor really helped when I was going through a similar period.
Your university probably has a mental health or wellbeing department that you can go to.
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OxFossil
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(Original post by Ellipsyss)
I’m on my second year at uni on a fine art course and I’m failing miserably because my mental health during lockdown has caught up with me. I’m tanking really bad to the point I can’t sleep at night, It doesn’t help that my sister committed suicide on the same course in the same year 4 years ago. I don’t feel any passion or drive towards my subject anymore and have no job I’m aspiring towards but if I’m not doing art what where all these years of studying art for. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore I feel like a failure to myself and my family. I want to feel happy again, I wish I could reset this year. None of my family have gotten through uni and my parents don’t feel any sympathy for me ... I only have 1 friend in a different country. The negative thoughts won’t go away.
You've obviously got a good understanding of why you are feeling oike this. It isn't becuase *you* are a failure, but because you are in a system, and a situation, that is highly likely to trigger *anyone* into depression. And you know that these negative thoughts are a symptom of that illness, not a reflection of what is objectively true. I'd suggest trying to force yourself to think of it just like you might think of measles or the flu. Do some "self-help" (the usual advice you can find on things like the Mind website etc) and speak to a professional to begin therapy. It's really hard to get well by yourself - counsellors, therapists etc are trained to give you techniques to get past the barriers.
In addition, contact your welfare/tutors to get them to help on the academic side of things.

I daresay that is the last thing you feel up to right now, but that's just a symptom of the illness. Try to push back. Don't forget that, even lying in bed, you can make a start by calling a helpline and chatting to someone (either direct or by live text)

You definitely can get better!
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