Pakistani parents are more leniant with sons vs daughters

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Anonymous #1
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I've noticed in my neighborhood as a nonPakistani that Pakistani dads don't care at all what their sons do. Many of the Pakistani boys in my neighborhood are drug dealers with multiple white females every night but their sisters are all at home locked up

A lot of their dads even know their sons are drug dealers and have a smile on their face but if their daughter does the same thing, its asking for a honor killing.

Why is it okay for sons to stay out passed hours doing whatever they feel like?
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Pdiddy125
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I'm not Pakistani but from what I've heard from some of my Pakistani male friends in sparkhill. Trying to keep a boy sheltered prevents the boy from being a man. If they were restrictive with the boys. The father thinks he will raise a soyboy and being domesticated as a man is seen as bad in their society. However females are generally seen as property of men in their society. A female going to school or staying out late is seen as loose or a lost cause. The concept of virginity is prized on the female part in their society. The men can do whatever they feel like. However even their dads will never let them get pork. I've seen Pakistani boys doing drugs and sleeping with white females but whenever you show them a piece of ham. They run the other way.
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Stan17932
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've noticed in my neighborhood as a nonPakistani that Pakistani dads don't care at all what their sons do. Many of the Pakistani boys in my neighborhood are drug dealers with multiple white females every night but their sisters are all at home locked up

A lot of their dads even know their sons are drug dealers and have a smile on their face but if their daughter does the same thing, its asking for a honor killing.

Why is it okay for sons to stay out passed hours doing whatever they feel like?
Most Pakistanis are Muslims by religion, and in Islam family honor is commonly placed on the girls, they have to behave much better than their male counterparts and are more protected. However, you never know, maybe the boys you've seen are just a result of poor parenting there are several outstanding Pakistani families with hard working and upstraight boys.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Stan17932)
Most Pakistanis are Muslims by religion, and in Islam family honor is commonly placed on the girls, they have to behave much better than their male counterparts and are more protected. However, you never know, maybe the boys you've seen are just a result of poor parenting there are several outstanding Pakistani families with hard working and upstraight boys.
There are some Pakistani boys were good upbringings but they're then ridiculed in my area by other Pakistani boys of acting posh or white if they try to live right. There is a religious and racial element to it also of why its frowned to work hard and be upstraight.
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Stan17932
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(Original post by Anonymous)
There are some Pakistani boys were good upbringings but they're then ridiculed in my area by other Pakistani boys of acting posh or white if they try to live right. There is a religious and racial element to it also of why its frowned to work hard and be upstraight.
I think its more of a social factor, Pakistan is particularly rough and I'm assuming a huge number of the boys are first generation migrants. The rough upbringing of their parents means that they are less connected or distant to their children, particularly boys.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've noticed in my neighborhood as a nonPakistani that Pakistani dads don't care at all what their sons do. Many of the Pakistani boys in my neighborhood are drug dealers with multiple white females every night but their sisters are all at home locked up

A lot of their dads even know their sons are drug dealers and have a smile on their face but if their daughter does the same thing, its asking for a honor killing.

Why is it okay for sons to stay out passed hours doing whatever they feel like?
Most Pakistani boys have poor upbringing but in the parents eyes a girl has to wait until she's married to go out and have fun and do what she wants. Like i grew up in a house where my brothers went out and did what they wanted whilst i stayed home. But in my opinion and from what I've seen many parents have tried to help their sons on the right path but due to society they tend to end up drug dealing.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Stan17932)
Most Pakistanis are Muslims by religion, and in Islam family honor is commonly placed on the girls, they have to behave much better than their male counterparts and are more protected. However, you never know, maybe the boys you've seen are just a result of poor parenting there are several outstanding Pakistani families with hard working and upstraight boys.
Also in Islam having a daughter is a blessing and daughters are a ticket to Heaven provided you treat them well and with care. Sadly because of culture which is deeply rooted in misogyny a lot of Pakistani girls face harsher consequences than the boys eventhough in Islam they’re supposed to be treated the same. Having relationships prior to marriage is forbidden in Islam and it carries the same sin for men and women so why should families dictated by culture burden only women for this
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abdullahAK
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To the thread starter.
Sister, I don't live in UK, but believe me I totally get what you are saying.
It is because the culture you are talking is irrespective of the countries where Muslims of subcontinent live be it Muslims of India, Bangladesh or Pakistan.
First, it is totally injustice to allow men to do whatever they want. The essence of the issue is, it is not allowed for men to do whatever they want; they should not be allowed to stay out of home, late at night without a reason. They should be taught to lower their gaze and not become perverts, and fulfill their desires by sleeping with women and doing other stuff which does not adhere to the Islamic principles.

Second, I think the parents and society both have a part to play in creating this dilemma because they tend to neglect what their sons although the parents don't like it(I'm talking about the practicing folks) because our society has made the birth of sons more rejoiceful compared to daughters.
Which is the same ideology which Our Prophet Muhammad(Pbuh) broke the shackles of.

Conclusion:
Since ,the world has become a global village, so when women whether living in east, west, north or south see the women rights campaigns which provoke women to do whatever they want, it brainwashes our modest and honorable Muslim women that they should be allowed to go outside and do whatever they want.
Note: I'm not against in women going outside, they are humans as well but if a sister says for instance that my brother did adultery, so now I will go outside without putting on scarf or hijab if you prefer. This is wrong!

The thing is, be it men or women nobody is allowed to compromise the Islamic principles, no matter where you are living.

Lastly, I think there must a adorable relationship between brothers and sisters, brothers should be at the forefront for their sisters, willing to sacrifice their lives for them. They should treat their sisters kindly with utmost respect which is same the other way around for the sisters.
The sister who created this thread, if you need any guidance or something, feel free to message me.
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londonmyst
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Often it is to do with family traditions, tribal customs, personal misogynistic attitudes on the part of some bad apple family members.
Occasionally a selective interpretation of ancient religious traditions/texts that in practice imposes a very harsh modesty agenda, puritanicalism and sexual double standards upon females alone.

Of course, there will always be some parents that demonstrate favouritism towards their daughter and either place one or all daughters above all the usual rules that their son/s are expected to follow.
I know half a dozen uk resident desi or pakistani families with this dynamic.
One friend has always been her daddy's little princess and the obvious favourite.
She and her younger brother were raised by their widowed single father after their mother died in a hit&run when my friend was 6 years old.
He spent his savings paying for her education, cashed out his private pension on her wedding to an atheist soldier from the usa, put himself into negative equity supporting her family and adores her children.
While her more conservative brother has to work long hours, keep living with his father and takes on multiple part time jobs just to pay the bills and loan repayments.
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