I messed up my QTS placement. I’m lost.

I just need to vent about this. I feel so dejected, stressed and whatnot. Advice might be nice too.

I’m in my first year of my undergraduate bachelor of honours primary school teaching. Usually, we would be on placement the year round, but Covid has made that very difficult. Instead of being introduced to placement slowly, we were thrown into a three week intensive placement instead. I started a placement on Monday 10th of May, and honestly I couldn’t have been happier with the school. The kids were lovely, I really got to work there, I made some great observation notes and I just really felt like the placement was going well.

I got misgendered quite a lot, which is okay, but whenever I tried to explain, a lot of people just didn’t understand. It continued to happen a lot, and I was told that it was just something I was going to have to deal with sometimes.
A lot of other things were weird - me and the other person who were on placement together often had lunch alone in the classroom, where we would chat and whatnot. The teachers didn’t like us laughing, because of how we presented ourselves to the children, but there were no children in the room at any of these times.
Not only that, but afterschool on Thursday, we had our weekly review. The person on placement with me didn’t take it too well, and when we left the school that day she burst into tears. I just hugged her. I didn’t know what else I could do, really. Our class mentor saw us hugging and told us it was inappropriate, and also we needed to think about how the children saw us. There weren’t any children around, and she was honestly bawling her eyes out. It just embarrassed us both.

I also had a huge anxiety attack on the morning of Friday, and I emailed the school explaining that I wouldn’t be in because of it. They deemed this unprofessional, because it felt from their POV that I just felt like I could take days off, which isn’t at all what I thought. I understand why they may have thought that, though.

A lot of other things were said as well, and I became aware of teachers who worked at the school gossiping about me and my placement partner to their own student trainees, which I thought was super unprofessional.

Long story short, I got pulled from my placement. Both me and my teaching partner. I hate myself so much. I feel like I messed up so bad, and I just need advice maybe. Has anyone else even been in the same situation? Did I mess up super bad? I can go on other placement if they manage to find me one, but I just need to talk to someone who might have gone through something similar.