Spanish Writing Task

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Hamza.adan04
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
Can someone check this please.
Según mi madre , es muy importante asignar tiempo descansar . En el futuro , voy a hacer meditación cuando estoy estresado y Voy a hacer las cosas que más me gustan. Soy afortunado porque tengo muchos amigos en mi escuela . Para mi , es importante contar tus benéficos. Me acordare a los que están en peor posición y voy a donar a unas organización solidarias
¬cuales son las ventajas y las desventajas de la tecnología
Una ventaja de un móviles es que se puede conectarse al Internet de forma rápida y mantenerse en contacto con amigos. Por otra parte, los móviles pueden causar dolores de cabeza y problemas de visión que he tenido recientemente. Pienso que el internet es impresionante pero puede ser muy peligroso. Hay todas clases de gente en el internet , como adultos con malas intenciones que acosan a adolescentes y hay criminales que saben clonar tarjetas de crédito .Mi amigo piensa que cuando se utiliza eficazmente , es un recurso útil.
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Plantagenet Crown
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Hamza.adan04)
Can someone check this please.
Según mi madre, es muy importante asignar dedicar tiempo a descansar. En el futuro, voy a hacer meditación meditaré cuando estoy esté estresado y voy a hacer haré las cosas que más me gustan. Soy afortunado porque tengo muchos amigos en mi la escuela. Para mí es importante contar tus benéficos mis bendiciones. Me acordaré de a los que están en una peor posición situación y voy a donar donaré a unas organizaciones solidarias.
¿Cuáles son las ventajas y las desventajas de la tecnología?
Una ventaja de un los móviles es que se puedes conectarte al a la Internet de forma rápida y mantenerte en contacto con los amigos. Por otra parte, los móviles pueden causar dolores de cabeza y problemas de visión, que los cuales he tenido sufrido recientemente. Pienso que el la internet es impresionante pero puede ser muy peligrosa. Hay toda clase de gente en línea el internet, como adultos con malas intenciones que acosan a adolescentes y hay criminales que saben clonar tarjetas de crédito. Mi amigo piensa que cuando se utiliza eficazmente es un recurso útil.
Corrections in red and a line through what should be deleted.
Last edited by Plantagenet Crown; 1 year ago
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Hamza.adan04
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
Corrections in red and a line through what should be deleted.
besides that what should i get out of 32 , thanks btw
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Plantagenet Crown
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Hamza.adan04)
besides that what should i get out of 32 , thanks btw
Not really sure as I'm not a teacher or marker, sorry. I just correct grammar.
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Hamza.adan04
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
Not really sure as I'm not a teacher or marker, sorry. I just correct grammar.
No problem , thank you very much .
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Smouncher
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#6
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#6
Few corrections:
- I would say “tiempo para descansar” instead of “tiempo descansar” (if you want to get extra points, say “es importante que asignes tiempo para descansar” because asignes is a subjunctive )
- Accent on mí (Para mí)
- Accent on acordaré
- ñ in doñar
- “un móvil” instead of “un móviles”
-clarity in sentence about connecting to internet, I would say “es que te permite conectarte al internet de forma rápida y mantenerte en contacto con amigos” This is because the “se” can mean the owner of the phone but it can also be interpreted to mean the phone itself, so needs to be specified. You could also say instead “un persona puede conectarse... y mantenerse”. But you wouldn’t need the se before puede because it is already at the end of conectar - you only need it in one of those places (either one is fine)
- It would sound more Spanish to say “Dolores de la cabeza” rather than without the “la”, but yours still makes sense. Also problemas con la visión maybe
- In the part about different types of people on internet and criminals, you said “hay” twice, which is fine but maybe replace one with “existen” to vary language.

Hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions!
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Hamza.adan04
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Smouncher)
Few corrections:
- I would say “tiempo para descansar” instead of “tiempo descansar” (if you want to get extra points, say “es importante que asignes tiempo para descansar” because asignes is a subjunctive )
- Accent on mí (Para mí)
- Accent on acordaré
- ñ in doñar
- “un móvil” instead of “un móviles”
-clarity in sentence about connecting to internet, I would say “es que te permite conectarte al internet de forma rápida y mantenerte en contacto con amigos” This is because the “se” can mean the owner of the phone but it can also be interpreted to mean the phone itself, so needs to be specified. You could also say instead “un persona puede conectarse... y mantenerse”. But you wouldn’t need the se before puede because it is already at the end of conectar - you only need it in one of those places (either one is fine)
- It would sound more Spanish to say “Dolores de la cabeza” rather than without the “la”, but yours still makes sense. Also problemas con la visión maybe
- In the part about different types of people on internet and criminals, you said “hay” twice, which is fine but maybe replace one with “existen” to vary language.

Hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions!
Thank you sooo much , with your corrections how many marks do u think i would get
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Plantagenet Crown
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Smouncher)
Few corrections:
- I would say “tiempo para descansar” instead of “tiempo descansar” (if you want to get extra points, say “es importante que asignes tiempo para descansar” because asignes is a subjunctive )
- Accent on mí (Para mí)
- Accent on acordaré
- ñ in doñar
- “un móvil” instead of “un móviles”
-clarity in sentence about connecting to internet, I would say “es que te permite conectarte al internet de forma rápida y mantenerte en contacto con amigos” This is because the “se” can mean the owner of the phone but it can also be interpreted to mean the phone itself, so needs to be specified. You could also say instead “un persona puede conectarse... y mantenerse”. But you wouldn’t need the se before puede because it is already at the end of conectar - you only need it in one of those places (either one is fine)
- It would sound more Spanish to say “Dolores de la cabeza” rather than without the “la”, but yours still makes sense. Also problemas con la visión maybe
- In the part about different types of people on internet and criminals, you said “hay” twice, which is fine but maybe replace one with “existen” to vary language.

Hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions!
In Spanish there's no such word as doñar and no, when saying "dolor de cabeza" it's much more common to not use "la".
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Smouncher
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
In Spanish there's no such word as doñar and no, when saying "dolor de cabeza" it's much more common to not use "la".
Oops yeah, sleep deprived student moment on donar, my mistake.
I had always heard dolor de cabeza with la but having just looked it up looks like you are right x
(Sorry OP, but the rest of it still stands haha)
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