Terrified of living alone at uni

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telkov
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I am deciding between two unis. One is closer to home and the other is further out but more prestigious and RG. Both have similar support services for my autism and mental health. I wanted to choose the more presitigious uni, and just had a long chat with my mum about it, and she essentially said that whilst she'll still support me whereever I go, once I move further out I'm on my own. Now I know this is my decision and my decision alone, but I have NEVER been independent before in the slightest. I have never had to be financial independent, have a job, talk to adults (by that I mean organising things for myself). Therefore, I am completely lost on living alone. The thought of organising 2nd year accommodation off campus, organising my placement year, in general coping alone is terrifying. I have no idea how to do anything and I don't feel like any uni will just hold my hand. My mental and physical health have declined rapidly very recently, and ngl there is a high chance of me not coping at uni. I am academic and have top grades, but recently my mental health is impacting me severely.

So, of course I can move further out and that's my decision, but I honestly don't know if I would cope and it's a gamble. I have depended on my family for so long, so hearing 'you're on your own' made my heart sink and I can't stop thinking about it. On the other hand, if I go to the more local uni I feel like I'm wasting my potential (still a good uni, but just not as prestigious). I also generally prefer the one that's further away.

Yes I am avoiding naming unis so I'm sorry if that's confusing!
Essentially, how intuitive is living alone once you start uni? I have autism and mental health issues and I really don't cope well in new environments or routines, but even I could get used to something. Unfortunately I just don't know the outcome.
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Kerzen
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You would find it easier to manage than you think, particularly if it's a campus University.

Is the one you prefer on a campus?

Re 2nd year accommodation, it may help to speak to their accommodation people, just in case there is provision on the campus for 2nd years in particular categories.

Something you may not realise is how different Uni will be for you; one thing is that there will be many other students with autism there.

Be sure to check out the Disabled Students' Allowance.

https://www.gov.uk/disabled-students-allowance-dsa
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UniofReading
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(Original post by telkov)
I am deciding between two unis. One is closer to home and the other is further out but more prestigious and RG. Both have similar support services for my autism and mental health. I wanted to choose the more presitigious uni, and just had a long chat with my mum about it, and she essentially said that whilst she'll still support me whereever I go, once I move further out I'm on my own. Now I know this is my decision and my decision alone, but I have NEVER been independent before in the slightest. I have never had to be financial independent, have a job, talk to adults (by that I mean organising things for myself). Therefore, I am completely lost on living alone. The thought of organising 2nd year accommodation off campus, organising my placement year, in general coping alone is terrifying. I have no idea how to do anything and I don't feel like any uni will just hold my hand. My mental and physical health have declined rapidly very recently, and ngl there is a high chance of me not coping at uni. I am academic and have top grades, but recently my mental health is impacting me severely.

So, of course I can move further out and that's my decision, but I honestly don't know if I would cope and it's a gamble. I have depended on my family for so long, so hearing 'you're on your own' made my heart sink and I can't stop thinking about it. On the other hand, if I go to the more local uni I feel like I'm wasting my potential (still a good uni, but just not as prestigious). I also generally prefer the one that's further away.

Yes I am avoiding naming unis so I'm sorry if that's confusing!
Essentially, how intuitive is living alone once you start uni? I have autism and mental health issues and I really don't cope well in new environments or routines, but even I could get used to something. Unfortunately I just don't know the outcome.
Hey there telkov,

I'm sorry to hear that you are worried about moving away from home - I completely agree, it is a scary experience! I hope I can give you some advice.

Whilst it may seem like you are on your own when you move away from home, you really aren't! Remember that you can visit home anytime you like, and you can still get advice from your parents etc whilst you are away (I still call my mum for cooking advice all the time!)

The idea of moving out is scary, but you do get used to it very quickly. When you move into halls, you are surrounded by people who are in exactly the same boat as you, and so you all learn together! During our first week, my flat mates and I went and all did our laundry together so we learnt together, and it was a lot less scary than I thought it would be. Universities also provide a lot of student support for this kind of thing, as well as mental health support. Whichever uni you decide to go to, they will provide placement support and will give you lots of advice for finding accommodation in your 2nd year.

Please don't feel like you are completely on your own when going to uni because that really is not the case at all! My personal advice would be to pick the uni that you feel you will be the happiest. I know that is a difficult decision and of course depends on personal circumstances, but don't let the fear of moving out put you off going to the uni that you really like!

I hope this has helped in some way, and reassured you a little. If you have anything you would like to ask me about university life, I would be happy to answer this for you.

Daisy
2nd year politics and international relations student
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PhoenixFortune
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(Original post by telkov)
I am deciding between two unis. One is closer to home and the other is further out but more prestigious and RG. Both have similar support services for my autism and mental health. I wanted to choose the more presitigious uni, and just had a long chat with my mum about it, and she essentially said that whilst she'll still support me whereever I go, once I move further out I'm on my own. Now I know this is my decision and my decision alone, but I have NEVER been independent before in the slightest. I have never had to be financial independent, have a job, talk to adults (by that I mean organising things for myself). Therefore, I am completely lost on living alone. The thought of organising 2nd year accommodation off campus, organising my placement year, in general coping alone is terrifying. I have no idea how to do anything and I don't feel like any uni will just hold my hand. My mental and physical health have declined rapidly very recently, and ngl there is a high chance of me not coping at uni. I am academic and have top grades, but recently my mental health is impacting me severely.

So, of course I can move further out and that's my decision, but I honestly don't know if I would cope and it's a gamble. I have depended on my family for so long, so hearing 'you're on your own' made my heart sink and I can't stop thinking about it. On the other hand, if I go to the more local uni I feel like I'm wasting my potential (still a good uni, but just not as prestigious). I also generally prefer the one that's further away.

Yes I am avoiding naming unis so I'm sorry if that's confusing!
Essentially, how intuitive is living alone once you start uni? I have autism and mental health issues and I really don't cope well in new environments or routines, but even I could get used to something. Unfortunately I just don't know the outcome.
Will you be able to learn how to do chores etc. by the time you go to university? That way you are better set up for success. Tbh, if your mental health isn't great, and living independently will exacerbate that, then maybe living at home isn't a bad idea, at least for your first year.

I don't know why your mum put it quite like that, as it seems a little harsh. Maybe she was saying it to make you pick the closer uni?
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UniversityOfSunderland
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(Original post by telkov)
I am deciding between two unis. One is closer to home and the other is further out but more prestigious and RG. Both have similar support services for my autism and mental health. I wanted to choose the more presitigious uni, and just had a long chat with my mum about it, and she essentially said that whilst she'll still support me whereever I go, once I move further out I'm on my own. Now I know this is my decision and my decision alone, but I have NEVER been independent before in the slightest. I have never had to be financial independent, have a job, talk to adults (by that I mean organising things for myself). Therefore, I am completely lost on living alone. The thought of organising 2nd year accommodation off campus, organising my placement year, in general coping alone is terrifying. I have no idea how to do anything and I don't feel like any uni will just hold my hand. My mental and physical health have declined rapidly very recently, and ngl there is a high chance of me not coping at uni. I am academic and have top grades, but recently my mental health is impacting me severely.

So, of course I can move further out and that's my decision, but I honestly don't know if I would cope and it's a gamble. I have depended on my family for so long, so hearing 'you're on your own' made my heart sink and I can't stop thinking about it. On the other hand, if I go to the more local uni I feel like I'm wasting my potential (still a good uni, but just not as prestigious). I also generally prefer the one that's further away.

Yes I am avoiding naming unis so I'm sorry if that's confusing!
Essentially, how intuitive is living alone once you start uni? I have autism and mental health issues and I really don't cope well in new environments or routines, but even I could get used to something. Unfortunately I just don't know the outcome.
It's totally normal to feel panicked at the thought of 'having to do it alone', all students start university the same way and whether you were living close to your home or not, there are still things you'd have to learn how to do. Is there anything, in particular you're worried about facing alone? Perhaps putting a list together and then working on combatting each one would be a good exercise and might make you feel better about making a decision. Remember google is your friend and youtube has a tutorial on pretty much everything these days, and you can always rely on the support system of your university too. Go with your gut
Best of luck!
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