I don't want to be friends with my best friend anymore

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Hello guys
I was friends with this girl for 3 years, we've been best friends and related to each other a lot. I used to love her so much but now I just seem to not like her and seem to have lost respect for her.
There are many qualities I don't like about her, and because I spend a lot of time with her, I have gotten some of her habits unknowingly, it seems to be having a bad effect on me and I don't want to be her friend anymore.

I'm currently not talking to her as much, there's a difference between being friends and being friendly, I've just been being friendly for a few days and she was fine with it. However, now she's asking me why I'm not sending her as much texts and not calling her etc. I tell her that I'm busy but I don't that will work now.

Can you please come up with a few excuses?
I seriously need help.
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GabiAbi84
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#2
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Just be honest with her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
Just be honest with her.
Honestly though, this seems easier said than done.
I can't tell her, it's not an option.
I want to gradually just stop talking with her and with my shorter replies maybe she'll take a hint.
but she isn't...
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GabiAbi84
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly though, this seems easier said than done.
I can't tell her, it's not an option.
I want to gradually just stop talking with her and with my shorter replies maybe she'll take a hint.
but she isn't...
Then you’re just being cruel and messing her about which is a lot harsher than just being honest.
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Abeer37
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You want to drift apart slowly.....and tbh it kinda sucks more
But if ending the friendship is what you want, make an approach directly politely and honestly how you think you've outgrown her friendship and how you think it's having a bad influence in you so it's better if you guys don't talk much anymore?
Last edited by Abeer37; 1 month ago
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly though, this seems easier said than done.
I can't tell her, it's not an option.
I want to gradually just stop talking with her and with my shorter replies maybe she'll take a hint.
but she isn't...
i don't understand why people think its reasonable, helpful or easy to make someone else 'take the hint'

you'll make her hate you, you'll hate yourself while you keep her in the dark and the unclear situation will make you uncomfortable

hoping someone else will take the hint is just another way of weaselling out of your own problems
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millyv
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello guys
I was friends with this girl for 3 years, we've been best friends and related to each other a lot. I used to love her so much but now I just seem to not like her and seem to have lost respect for her.
There are many qualities I don't like about her, and because I spend a lot of time with her, I have gotten some of her habits unknowingly, it seems to be having a bad effect on me and I don't want to be her friend anymore.

I'm currently not talking to her as much, there's a difference between being friends and being friendly, I've just been being friendly for a few days and she was fine with it. However, now she's asking me why I'm not sending her as much texts and not calling her etc. I tell her that I'm busy but I don't that will work now.

Can you please come up with a few excuses?
I seriously need help.
I know it's hard but I think it's best for both of you if you're just honest.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
Then you’re just being cruel and messing her about which is a lot harsher than just being honest.
Look, I know where you're coming from, it sounds like I'm leading her on or something... I know how that feels because I went through it before.
That person who hurt me so much made it clear and honest which really really really hurted me, for 2 years actually... (I'm doing alright now though)
I think it would've been better if that person just gradually stopped talking or leading me on you know? I would take the hint...
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Abeer37)
You want to drift apart slowly.....and tbh it kinda sucks more
But if ending the friendship is what you want, make an approach directly politely and honestly how you think you've outgrown her friendship and how you think it's having a bad influence in you so it's better if you guys don't talk much anymore?
I think she wouldn't be the type of person to do that to be honest, I think she would just start arguing and stuff, I really don't want that because I hate arguing with her.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by HoldThisL)
i don't understand why people think its reasonable, helpful or easy to make someone else 'take the hint'

you'll make her hate you, you'll hate yourself while you keep her in the dark and the unclear situation will make you uncomfortable

hoping someone else will take the hint is just another way of weaselling out of your own problems
Please do be sympathetic with what you're saying, but please don't use that tone when talking about someone's problems. You don't know what they're going through.
I posted this to get feedback and support, not to be judged and attacked at.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by millyv)
I know it's hard but I think it's best for both of you if you're just honest.
Thank you for being supportive, it's really appreciated.
I think I might take this approach then, can you (or anyone else) give me a good way of doing this? I don't want to hurt her
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Anonymous #2
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This reminds me of my friendship.. I've been friends with her for 3 years and she replies with small texts, and doesn't chat with me that much anymore.. and now she's slowly becoming best friend with on of my friends I've known for almost 13 years now and growing distant with me..
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kolme
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My friends did that to me, slowly started drifting away which made me feel like trash and then one day decided to **** off completely and started acting as if I never existed in their lives. Maybe there was my own fault in that, but then I wish they told me what I do wrong. Please don't do it to her if you have any respect at all.
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think she wouldn't be the type of person to do that to be honest, I think she would just start arguing and stuff, I really don't want that because I hate arguing with her.
Honesty and being up front is still the best option. If she starts arguing with what you tell her, you don’t have to carry on the argument. At that point, you can just say ’’well, those are my reasons, I’ve made myself clear, I didn’t come to argue, I’m leaving now.’’
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for being supportive, it's really appreciated.
I think I might take this approach then, can you (or anyone else) give me a good way of doing this? I don't want to hurt her
There’s no real way out of this situation, where you’re resolved to end a friendship with someone, that doesn’t hurt the person at least somewhat. But being clear, open, and honest about what you want and why you don’t want to be her friend anymore is the best, least hurtful way to do it.
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HoldThisL
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Please do be sympathetic with what you're saying, but please don't use that tone when talking about someone's problems. You don't know what they're going through.
I posted this to get feedback and support, not to be judged and attacked at.
i'm judging you, but im afraid the tone you're inferring is because you don't like what im saying not because im attacking you
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by kolme)
My friends did that to me, slowly started drifting away which made me feel like trash and then one day decided to **** off completely and started acting as if I never existed in their lives. Maybe there was my own fault in that, but then I wish they told me what I do wrong. Please don't do it to her if you have any respect at all.
Oh my goodness, I will take your comment into consideration, thank you so much for letting me know.
What do you wish they would've done, or how do you wish they could tell you?
Can you please tell me, I don't want to hurt anybody, I just want to let go of a person in my life.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
Honesty and being up front is still the best option. If she starts arguing with what you tell her, you don’t have to carry on the argument. At that point, you can just say ’’well, those are my reasons, I’ve made myself clear, I didn’t come to argue, I’m leaving now.’’
Thank you!!
Your comment is very very much appreciated, I will definitely use this!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by anosmianAcrimony)
There’s no real way out of this situation, where you’re resolved to end a friendship with someone, that doesn’t hurt the person at least somewhat. But being clear, open, and honest about what you want and why you don’t want to be her friend anymore is the best, least hurtful way to do it.
Thank you for your comment! It's very open minded and helpful, I will definitely take this into consideration.
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anosmianAcrimony
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you!!
Your comment is very very much appreciated, I will definitely use this!
I hope it goes as well as it possibly can
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