i really want to message my ex

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mariaisstudying
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#1
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we broke up four months ago but the desire to talk to him again is getting stronger.
i’ve tried to move on (emphasis on tried because it’s been so hard for me to find new guys - i’m too fussy sometimes and they were all ****boys) and i’m doing everything i can to distract myself. i have hobbies, i message my friends a lot, i’m trying to fill the void by going out but i still feel so empty without him.
he still views my stories on instagram which makes me wonder if he’s even moved on.
i don’t even want to get back together with him i just want to talk to him and meet up with him.
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Kabzzzy
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Don't. You need to reevaluate your own life and try to understand why you feel like communicating with him would fill a void. He's just one person, this thought process of yours is an issue and will continue to be with whoever you meet until you sort yourself out. IDK what it could be, it will vary from person to person, but forget about him and figure it out. I'd just delete his number and remove him from social media, it's really not worth it and you'll only feel worse when (not if) you get the response you don't want.
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Bookworm_88
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(Original post by mariaisstudying)
we broke up four months ago but the desire to talk to him again is getting stronger.
i’ve tried to move on (emphasis on tried because it’s been so hard for me to find new guys - i’m too fussy sometimes and they were all ****boys) and i’m doing everything i can to distract myself. i have hobbies, i message my friends a lot, i’m trying to fill the void by going out but i still feel so empty without him.
he still views my stories on instagram which makes me wonder if he’s even moved on.
i don’t even want to get back together with him i just want to talk to him and meet up with him.
okie
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Anonymous #1
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They're your ex for a reason, consider that.
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mariaisstudying
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(Original post by Anonymous)
They're your ex for a reason, consider that.
true
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mariaisstudying
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(Original post by Kabzzzy)
Don't. You need to reevaluate your own life and try to understand why you feel like communicating with him would fill a void. He's just one person, this thought process of yours is an issue and will continue to be with whoever you meet until you sort yourself out. IDK what it could be, it will vary from person to person, but forget about him and figure it out. I'd just delete his number and remove him from social media, it's really not worth it and you'll only feel worse when (not if) you get the response you don't want.
you’ve put it really well lol i do need to reevaluate my own life😩
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Anonymous #2
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Also ask yourself if Covid restrictions and stuff are influencing your wish to text him. Even if you're texting your friends loads, it's just not the same as going out with them/doing fun things, so there might be an element of boredom or loneliness there that you're not even entirely aware of.

However, I'm going to go against the grain here and say that if your split was respectful and unproblematic enough, and if you're sure you're not just bored and lonely, you could message him? Only do it though on these terms:
- You genuinely want his company
- You believe his company will make a positive contribution to your life
- You either establish or already have firm boundaries in place

Good luck!
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Anonymous #3
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Same here, I just broke up with him but in all honesty it feels like there is a void in my heart after he didn't want to define the relationship. He was from China and I am British and we met when my life turned upside down. I was doing so well with him in my life.
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Wired_1800
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(Original post by mariaisstudying)
we broke up four months ago but the desire to talk to him again is getting stronger.
i’ve tried to move on (emphasis on tried because it’s been so hard for me to find new guys - i’m too fussy sometimes and they were all ****boys) and i’m doing everything i can to distract myself. i have hobbies, i message my friends a lot, i’m trying to fill the void by going out but i still feel so empty without him.
he still views my stories on instagram which makes me wonder if he’s even moved on.
i don’t even want to get back together with him i just want to talk to him and meet up with him.
:no:
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mariaisstudying
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Same here, I just broke up with him but in all honesty it feels like there is a void in my heart after he didn't want to define the relationship. He was from China and I am British and we met when my life turned upside down. I was doing so well with him in my life.
i was too. i just felt so much happier tbh
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mariaisstudying
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Also ask yourself if Covid restrictions and stuff are influencing your wish to text him. Even if you're texting your friends loads, it's just not the same as going out with them/doing fun things, so there might be an element of boredom or loneliness there that you're not even entirely aware of.

However, I'm going to go against the grain here and say that if your split was respectful and unproblematic enough, and if you're sure you're not just bored and lonely, you could message him? Only do it though on these terms:
- You genuinely want his company
- You believe his company will make a positive contribution to your life
- You either establish or already have firm boundaries in place

Good luck!
i do genuinely want his company. coincidentally he just messaged me to tell me he dreamt about me. i want to carry on the conversation but i don’t know how because i’m scared he’ll be dry
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Kovalensky
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(Original post by mariaisstudying)
i do genuinely want his company. coincidentally he just messaged me to tell me he dreamt about me. i want to carry on the conversation but i don’t know how because i’m scared he’ll be dry
why did you break up
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mariaisstudying
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(Original post by Kovalensky)
why did you break up
we were both struggling with mental health
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Kovalensky
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(Original post by mariaisstudying)
we were both struggling with mental health
do you wanna be a little more specific? there's a reason why you broke up, you have to remind yourself of what that reason was.
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