The Student Room Group

My lack of self confidence ruins my relationships

I’ve only ever had 1 relationship which was over a year ago but feels like a few months ago bc corona lol
He wasn’t the best but a relationship goes both ways, i played a part in our failed relationship.
On our first date he was trying to be cute doing the classic ‘pool table’ move and i was worried that he’d feel my stomach fat.
When we were at group things together i would literally avoid him because i was worried i’d bore him and that he’d rather be talking to other people, i’d literally never ask to meet up with him because i thought i was burdening him

Then fast forward a year and I’m having a ‘party get off’ and man i felt like this guy was out of my leage, he kept telling me how attractive i was and i suddenly felt EVEN MORE INSECURE because he wanted to go further, i did too but i ended up running because, again i was scared of him seeing me naked

We still texted and i concealed the real me bc i was scared of being judged so looking back, god i must’ve seemed boring.

Life is changing back to normal again and i don’t want this to be my life, i kmow the right person will accept me for who i am but i can’t deal with the fact that someone might see me the way i see myself, gross and fat loooollll
It's simple really.

It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves

While ever you hold this inner loathing of yourself it will create barriers in your relationships. Once you come to understand who you are and accept yourself for who you are, then the rest will slot into place.

I'll also highlight that obsessing about weight and fat is the wrong focus. Weight is a by-product of bad health. Your priority should be health. You should be striving to be a healthy person, to live a healthy lifestyle. Your food and drink choices should all be made in the context of health not in the context of weight. Do you read product labels? Are you checking how much sugar there is everything you buy and eat? There are so many misconceptions.

For example, a 1ltr carton of orange or apple juice contains the equivalent of 21 teaspoons of sugar !!!! 21 !!!

People think, "but surely it's a healthy thing, it's full of Vit C and it's nature's oranges and apples"

But it isn't. It's ALL the sugars of nature's oranges and apples and NONE of the vital fiber..

Similarly a 500g tub of low-fat Natural Yoghurt contains about 9 teaspoons of sugars

Those little Yakult pots of probiotic yoghurt contain about 2.3 teaspoons of sugar

Pots of Actimel (100g) contain 2.6 teaspoons of sugar

In all cases these are natural sugars but it doesn't matter. Sugars are sugars. Crucially there is absolutely no fiber in any of those products and that's a huge problem. Without the fiber, the sugars are converted instantly to energy which your body has no immediate need for and so it gets stored away as fat.

Were you aware of any of this? If not then you may need to get some good food education because it's this kind of information that will allow you to make the right food choices and thereby to live a healthy lifestyle. Once you do that the weight will just drop off naturally. Don't aim to lose weight. Aim to be healthy, it's far more important. Then you'll be happier with yourself imho and when you are happy with yourself, others will see that confidence and it will be attractive to them.

ATB
Reply 2
Avatar for 14t
14t
OP
15
Original post by PilgrimOfTruth
It's simple really.

It's hard to love someone who doesn't love themselves

While ever you hold this inner loathing of yourself it will create barriers in your relationships. Once you come to understand who you are and accept yourself for who you are, then the rest will slot into place.

I'll also highlight that obsessing about weight and fat is the wrong focus. Weight is a by-product of bad health. Your priority should be health. You should be striving to be a healthy person, to live a healthy lifestyle. Your food and drink choices should all be made in the context of health not in the context of weight. Do you read product labels? Are you checking how much sugar there is everything you buy and eat? There are so many misconceptions.

For example, a 1ltr carton of orange or apple juice contains the equivalent of 21 teaspoons of sugar !!!! 21 !!!

People think, "but surely it's a healthy thing, it's full of Vit C and it's nature's oranges and apples"

But it isn't. It's ALL the sugars of nature's oranges and apples and NONE of the vital fiber..

Similarly a 500g tub of low-fat Natural Yoghurt contains about 9 teaspoons of sugars

Those little Yakult pots of probiotic yoghurt contain about 2.3 teaspoons of sugar

Pots of Actimel (100g) contain 2.6 teaspoons of sugar

In all cases these are natural sugars but it doesn't matter. Sugars are sugars. Crucially there is absolutely no fiber in any of those products and that's a huge problem. Without the fiber, the sugars are converted instantly to energy which your body has no immediate need for and so it gets stored away as fat.

Were you aware of any of this? If not then you may need to get some good food education because it's this kind of information that will allow you to make the right food choices and thereby to live a healthy lifestyle. Once you do that the weight will just drop off naturally. Don't aim to lose weight. Aim to be healthy, it's far more important. Then you'll be happier with yourself imho and when you are happy with yourself, others will see that confidence and it will be attractive to them.

ATB

thanks, yh i did know that. I was overweight but now i’m a healthy weight but doesn’t mean i still have fat/feel insecure.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you