Why do girls prefer if I hardly make any effort?

So i’m not sure if iv just had a weird sample of girls but there’s been 2 girls I have been very serious over, made a lot of effort was always nice to and tried to be the perfect guy for. Long story short I ended up hurt because they didn’t want me and never really appreciated what I did for them even though I did a lot.

After the 2nd time I was crushed and stopped caring really and kind of became a little bit of a douche. I took forever to reply, I was super straightforward and even slightly rude to them sometimes. Literally one of the girls got happy with me and said she appreciates the effort because I replied to her 3 times in 1 day. Overall looking at it, i’m not really a great guy in the 2nd scenario but the girls and 3 of them im currently speaking too are replying super quick and are way more into me. To me this just doesn’t make any sense because i’m barely showing them any interest.

I prefer to be the 2nd guy but I don’t understand the female mind are all. Why do girls prefer if I don’t care about them, it seems a little backwards to me?

I think it shows that you have other priorities, and that you're busy?
Whatever it is, it works.

It might not be related to this topic the OP should consider himself lucky if he attracts girls with no effort at all without any effort at all.

I can only dream about it.

I does take a lot of effort, this is only like a snippet. A lot of trail and error has gone into this before hand and I think iv become pretty solid at initially flirting with a girl, so that helps. Keep working at it and you’ll become good at it

I assume you're fairly young. A lot of younger women seem to prefer attitude or 'bad guys'. Its more exciting, younger women like the drama. Most grow out of it eventually when they decide to start looking for a solid partner or when they realize that they deserve better than to be hurt again and again by guys that dont care.

Dont get yourself into the habit of being a prick. They may be into it at the start but its not going to lead to any worthwhile relationships.

This is one of the things that set us men apart from women. We have this handicap, while they have this endowment of inherent sex appeal. I envy them.

I’m not necessarily young, i’m in my early 20s. Like I said there’s nothing more id like to do than be that first guy I said who’s makes an effort etc but that has literally only found me pain. Because of this pain it numbed me a bit and the next girls I spoke to I just put in much less effort because I was still hurt and these girls are showing me increasingly more attention as the days go by. I don’t like doing this but it just seems to work

This is one of the things that set us men apart from women. We have this handicap, while they have this endowment of inherent sex appeal. I envy them.

We men make an effort because we have to, not because we want to.

The world seems to value us for what we can bring to the table, not for who we are.

Sorry if I come off as flippant, the fact that we still have to do this has been killing me to no end.

I assume you're fairly young. A lot of younger women seem to prefer attitude or 'bad guys'. Its more exciting, younger women like the drama. Most grow out of it eventually when they decide to start looking for a solid partner or when they realize that they deserve better than to be hurt again and again by guys that dont care.

Dont get yourself into the habit of being a prick. They may be into it at the start but its not going to lead to any worthwhile relationships.

So i’m not sure if iv just had a weird sample of girls but there’s been 2 girls I have been very serious over, made a lot of effort was always nice to and tried to be the perfect guy for. Long story short I ended up hurt because they didn’t want me and never really appreciated what I did for them even though I did a lot.

After the 2nd time I was crushed and stopped caring really and kind of became a little bit of a douche. I took forever to reply, I was super straightforward and even slightly rude to them sometimes. Literally one of the girls got happy with me and said she appreciates the effort because I replied to her 3 times in 1 day. Overall looking at it, i’m not really a great guy in the 2nd scenario but the girls and 3 of them im currently speaking too are replying super quick and are way more into me. To me this just doesn’t make any sense because i’m barely showing them any interest.

I prefer to be the 2nd guy but I don’t understand the female mind are all. Why do girls prefer if I don’t care about them, it seems a little backwards to me?

We all have to make an effort to make a relationship grow, both men and women. I really appreciate it when men make an effort. I am not a treat em mean, keep em keen attitude. That smacks of immaturity.

The custom of male deference deserves consignation to history of if it doesn't benefit men at all.

As I have said before, I make a massive effort with my boyfriend. And he appreciates it!