Defalt 2.0
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First off, thanks for coming to this post because I have got Yr 10 mocks next week and we are writing 12 Markers to prepare for our GCSE exams. I have written one below and would greatly appreciate any comments or feedback on it however I understand there are many posts on this forum and may it be hard to read the entire essay. Thanks!


“The existence of suffering proves there is no God” – Evaluate this statement.

Some would agree with this statement as the existence of suffering defies the nature of God. God either allows evil to exist because of one of 4 reasons. He wants to prevent evil but can’t making Him not omnipotent; he can prevent evil but doesn’t want to making Him not omnibenevolent; he can’t prevent evil and doesn’t want to making him neither omnibenevolent nor omnipotent; he can prevent evil and wants to which begs the questions – whence come evil? We can see from the first three statements that if any of these were true, God would not exist or be how perceive Him. We also know the last statement isn’t true because suffering definitely exists which means one of the previous statements must be true. This means God cannot be both omnibenevolent and omnipotent and may be neither proving there is no God. This argument is weak because it fails to understand why God may want suffering. Since his goals are beyond human comprehension, suffering may be necessary for the evolution of humanity and we wouldn’t understand as we aren’t omnipotent.

On the other hand, some may disagree with this statement because we, as humans, have free will which allows us to commit sins. St Augustine said God gave us free will so that we could choose to be either good or bad and people sinning is the cause of this suffering. It would be less loving of God to remove our free will because we would then not be human. This statement is weak because while explaining the cause of some suffering, it does not explain why natural disasters happen, which sins are not the root of.

Others may also disagree with this statement as God made humans imperfect so that we could develop virtues and mature. Irenaeus said that earning these virtues through failure and suffering would be more rewarding in the end than if God had just given them to us in the start. This explains why suffering exists and that it is simply to make us better people. If we had never been insulted and suffered because of it, we wouldn’t have developed the virtue to know not to insult others as it makes them suffer. This point is strong as it covers the cause of suffering from humans and natural sources.

In conclusion, I disagree with this statement as there are two explanations to why suffering from humans is allowed and another strong one about natural disasters. In comparison to the first point which also was flawed, this statement does not disprove the existence of God
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ladymacbeth182
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Overall, really great essay! (Coming from a Year 11 student who's written more than they can count...)

A couple of tips:
-show a reader your belief right from the beginning e.g. "I disagree with this statement" before going into reasons why some might agree or disagree
-make this short first sentence a separate paragraph to give the essay a clearer structure
-a conclusion is worth two marks (I think?) so do try go into more depth, disproving weak arguments as you did earlier in the main body of the essay and remember that it's okay to repeat yourself as long as you change the wording a bit
-personally, I would put your own opinions first in the essay (reasons why you disagree) and then I would write something like "However, some people might say..." and then you say why these people are wrong, both in that paragraph and in the conclusion
-maybe try to reference more sources (good job with St Augustine of Hippo!) but some more knowledge could really impress an examiner on both sides of the argument

But seriously, really well done, this is a brilliant essay, you're gonna be great in your mocks!! I especially liked your appraisal statements ("This argument is weak because...).

If any of my tips directly contradict anything your teacher has told you, please ignore me- your teacher knows best, I'm just a student. Good luck with your tests!!
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Defalt 2.0
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(Original post by ladymacbeth182)
Overall, really great essay! (Coming from a Year 11 student who's written more than they can count...)

A couple of tips:
-show a reader your belief right from the beginning e.g. "I disagree with this statement" before going into reasons why some might agree or disagree
-make this short first sentence a separate paragraph to give the essay a clearer structure
-a conclusion is worth two marks (I think?) so do try go into more depth, disproving weak arguments as you did earlier in the main body of the essay and remember that it's okay to repeat yourself as long as you change the wording a bit
-personally, I would put your own opinions first in the essay (reasons why you disagree) and then I would write something like "However, some people might say..." and then you say why these people are wrong, both in that paragraph and in the conclusion
-maybe try to reference more sources (good job with St Augustine of Hippo!) but some more knowledge could really impress an examiner on both sides of the argument

But seriously, really well done, this is a brilliant essay, you're gonna be great in your mocks!! I especially liked your appraisal statements ("This argument is weak because...).

If any of my tips directly contradict anything your teacher has told you, please ignore me- your teacher knows best, I'm just a student. Good luck with your tests!!
Thank you this will help me so much
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