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Why are guys still supposed to approach girls in 2021?

Why?

Aren’t we fighting for gender equality? Don’t we want gender roles to disappear? Then why are we still anchored to the “males should approach” mentality?

Ofc i’m a guy. I’m 18 but i’m balding very rapidly. I don’t look awful, but not even good ( even if i’m fit and tall ).

The main problem is that i got a stuttering problem. I can’t talk to the cashier, or anybody literally. I’m super awkward and very very insecure. And ofc i never approached girls.

So, the second question might be:

“Suggestions?”

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Anyone who benefits from the arrangement of asking out being solely a 'man's job" won't do anything about it, and so will apathetic people.

Of course, I'll be here to help you, so I'll be sending you a private message for suggestions.
Original post by Anonymous
And ofc i never approached girls.


I hate to break it to you, but dating requires you to be proactive.

Work on your awkwardness and insecurity because simply railing about it being unfair that women don't approach you will not help change your situation.



As for "males should apporach", women do approach men. It may not be as common as men approaching women, but it does happen. They also do the other groundwork of circling men they are interested in, giving hints, flirting, etc.
Original post by Anonymous
The main problem is that i got a stuttering problem. I can’t talk to the cashier, or anybody literally. I’m super awkward and very very insecure. And ofc i never approached girls.

This paragraph can be rephrased to “I want girls to ask me out because I’m a wuss who doesn’t have the balls to ask them out.”
Reply 4
Original post by RichPiana
This paragraph can be rephrased to “I want girls to ask me out because I’m a wuss who doesn’t have the balls to ask them out.”


yeah exactly. Same excuse that girls use. And so? Why can’t i use this excuse but they can?
Original post by Anonymous
Why?

Aren’t we fighting for gender equality? Don’t we want gender roles to disappear? Then why are we still anchored to the “males should approach” mentality?

Ofc i’m a guy. I’m 18 but i’m balding very rapidly. I don’t look awful, but not even good ( even if i’m fit and tall ).

The main problem is that i got a stuttering problem. I can’t talk to the cashier, or anybody literally. I’m super awkward and very very insecure. And ofc i never approached girls.

So, the second question might be:

“Suggestions?”


I would start a convo with her and if y'all hit it off ask for her snap. I would not suggest doing this to a cashier XD.
But yeah I know tons of guys who have stuttering problems but managed to snag a girl because they're nice
Original post by RichPiana
This paragraph can be rephrased to “I want girls to ask me out because I’m a wuss who doesn’t have the balls to ask them out.”

brooo with the pic, this is hilarious!!
Original post by Coolnerdqueen
brooo with the pic, this is hilarious!!

Probably what the OP doesn't need right now :confused:
Original post by Anonymous
Why?

Aren’t we fighting for gender equality? Don’t we want gender roles to disappear? Then why are we still anchored to the “males should approach” mentality?

Ofc i’m a guy. I’m 18 but i’m balding very rapidly. I don’t look awful, but not even good ( even if i’m fit and tall ).

The main problem is that i got a stuttering problem. I can’t talk to the cashier, or anybody literally. I’m super awkward and very very insecure. And ofc i never approached girls.

So, the second question might be:

“Suggestions?”


Not me preferring traditional gender roles.
I think it depends on who you talk to. Some girls will totally ask a guy out if she likes him
Eh... loads of girls approach guys, it's just not as common yet because most guys do the approaching anyway (one might say, many guys over-approach).
Original post by Coolnerdqueen
Not me preferring traditional gender roles.
I think it depends on who you talk to. Some girls will totally ask a guy out if she likes him


it’s probably my country then. It’s just that i always feel like i bother. The places i’d be more comfortable to approach a girl would be the workplace ( if we’re colleagues, during break ) and maybe courses or projects regarding something i’m interested in ( i don’t know why, maybe it’d look less creepy ).

I can’t approach random girls tho. Like while walking on the street, or at a bar/pub, all those social contexts… i’ve tried dating apps just to talk a bit ( i wasn’t looking for a relationship or things like that… just be friends or get to know ) but it’s tough cause i get very very few matches and they don’t even read my initial messages
Original post by Anonymous
it’s probably my country then. It’s just that i always feel like i bother. The places i’d be more comfortable to approach a girl would be the workplace ( if we’re colleagues, during break ) and maybe courses or projects regarding something i’m interested in ( i don’t know why, maybe it’d look less creepy ).

I can’t approach random girls tho. Like while walking on the street, or at a bar/pub, all those social contexts… i’ve tried dating apps just to talk a bit ( i wasn’t looking for a relationship or things like that… just be friends or get to know ) but it’s tough cause i get very very few matches and they don’t even read my initial messages

Where do you live, by the way? Also, I need you to message me privately first so that I can give you some help.

Most users here are apparently not as understanding as I am.
Original post by Anonymous
it’s probably my country then. It’s just that i always feel like i bother. The places i’d be more comfortable to approach a girl would be the workplace ( if we’re colleagues, during break ) and maybe courses or projects regarding something i’m interested in ( i don’t know why, maybe it’d look less creepy ).

I can’t approach random girls tho. Like while walking on the street, or at a bar/pub, all those social contexts… i’ve tried dating apps just to talk a bit ( i wasn’t looking for a relationship or things like that… just be friends or get to know ) but it’s tough cause i get very very few matches and they don’t even read my initial messages

It's way better to date someone from a workplace or school anyway. I would say then, just be friends with them, and once you get comfortable ask them out. Of course, I don't know your country or the girls so my advice is limited to my experience, but that's what I got
Original post by Coolnerdqueen
It's way better to date someone from a workplace or school anyway. I would say then, just be friends with them, and once you get comfortable ask them out. Of course, I don't know your country or the girls so my advice is limited to my experience, but that's what I got

Given his stuttering problems, he may also consider chatting online. I'll help him with that one.
Original post by Anonymous
Why?

Aren’t we fighting for gender equality? Don’t we want gender roles to disappear? Then why are we still anchored to the “males should approach” mentality?

Ofc i’m a guy. I’m 18 but i’m balding very rapidly. I don’t look awful, but not even good ( even if i’m fit and tall ).

The main problem is that i got a stuttering problem. I can’t talk to the cashier, or anybody literally. I’m super awkward and very very insecure. And ofc i never approached girls.

So, the second question might be:

“Suggestions?”

Imo, girls approaching you first are rare unless you go to many social events/are considered by girls to be really attractive.

Just gotta get out of your comfort zone and approach them first otherwise you probably won't end up with a girl you want to end up with or may not end up with one at all.
Original post by SlaveofAll
Given his stuttering problems, he may also consider chatting online. I'll help him with that one.

*nods in approval*
Original post by SlaveofAll
Given his stuttering problems, he may also consider chatting online. I'll help him with that one.


girls will notice that first or then. It’s like hiding my receding hairline with a cap.

I don’t really know what to do about mg stuttering. That’s the reason why i can’t talk to people in general. When i talk to the cashier at my gym, he always looks at me like i’m weird and i hate it so much so i don’t try to look at his eyes looking at me.

That’s probably my biggest insecurity. I’m currently going to the gym to improve my body and i’m gaining some good results. I’d really like to feel good with my body. I don’t know how much it will help with socializing with girls tho ( i don’t really know if i’ll feel less self conscious )
ok i’m OP… you can pm me if you want now ( thanks SlaveofAll btw ).
i won’t probably be able to reply soon tho cause it’s very late here
Original post by Coolnerdqueen
It's way better to date someone from a workplace or school anyway. I would say then, just be friends with them, and once you get comfortable ask them out. Of course, I don't know your country or the girls so my advice is limited to my experience, but that's what I got

Workplace?

And ruin your life as a man by being accused of "sexual harassment" by asking a woman out?

No, not gonna happen.

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