Do guys mistake what woman think are friendly behaviours for romantic interest

Am I wrong if I think a woman who said she just wants to be friends used to be really into me romantically? It’s the way she used to act (it wasn’t purely friendly, I felt like she was pursuing me actively and treated me differently to other guys she knows or is friends with). And my gut instinct says she was at least considering the possibility of me being a romantic partner. Am I likely to be wrong and I just mistook what she thought was just friendliness?

Reply 1

bethwantsdeath

yes, i think female-female friendships usually contain an emotional element that male-male friendships dont, so when that emotional element is introduced to female-male friendships, men often mistake it for romantic interest.

Reply 2

Chief Wiggum

I mean, it's difficult to be completely sure about a particular individual scenario.

I definitely think that in some cases, men will mistakenly perceive friendliness from women to be a sign they are attracted to them.

In any case, isn't this kind of a moot point? She has said she just wants to be friends now. So to an extent, I think it's kinda pointless to speculate about the past.

Reply 3

Theloniouss

Universities Forum Helper

Have you made any other threads?

Reply 4

Zarek

I think guys quite often make this mistake with attractive friendly girls, driven party by wishful thinking. I don’t think girls lead guys on that much, maybe sometimes when drunk and changing their mind later

Reply 5

urlocalinmate

It's way too common, usually wishful thinking, I'm an easy offender of that...

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

Isn’t it just because men and women think differently about friendship and attraction?

Reply 7

Zarek

Original post by Anonymous

Isn’t it just because men and women think differently about friendship and attraction?

I think you could have a point, for guys sex is a logical enhancement to friendship

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

I always get mistaken by guys simply for being nice. It's like if i don't glare at them or behave coldly or cut the conversation short it means i'm interested or there is space for interest. I feel like i've had to become cold to avoid problems even though it's not my personality at all.

Unfortunately i also come from a culture which looks down on girls if we act too friendly and smiley as they seem 'loose' or 'interested' which is f-ed up. They would prefer to condition snobby and distant girls, which in turn create forceful and persistent or even desperate guys.

Reply 9

EU Yakov

Original post by Anonymous

dunno why i relate to what you're saying (as a man) but i relate to it. very much

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Original post by EU Yakov

dunno why i relate to what you're saying (as a man) but i relate to it. very much

How do you mean?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

I think you could have a point, for guys sex is a logical enhancement to friendship

I think it’s that men like a woman more the more time they spend together. It’s not necessarily sex.

Reply 12

londonmyst

Yes, sometimes.
Often it is down to misinterpreting kindness, flirting taken too far or just wishful thinking about a friend.
Applies to girls as well as guys.