Friend acts like my dad and is irritating me

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Kecifer
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#1
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Hello,
So I have a friend who I know from year 11 and so far I have been good friends with him and the relationship has been smoothly going. However during that relationship there have been a lot of instances where he offers me help with stuff and despite me refusing it several times (Because I think it's unnecessary and unwarranted) he tries so hard to get me to accept his help to the point I feel like I don't have a choice.

I never ask for the help in the first place, he offers it first and when I refuse it he gets angry and says that I am disregarding good help for "the benefit of me". Sometimes I accept his help, sometimes I don't. The times where I don't is where he pressurises me into accepting to the point he gets mad at me and even says he will beat me up if I don't comply.

This is looking like parental behaviour to me and I confronted him about this but he says "Is for the good of you, I am doing this for you, I have no malicious intentions trust me". I am sure he has good intentions but being so parental is like stepping on my personal freedom, I have a certain way of doing things and living my life but it seems like he doesn't like it and tries so HARD to change it.

He says that I am some ignorant guy who disregards good advice and it will bite me back in life later.

The question therefore is, I am actually in the wrong who is being deaf towards my friend and indeed acting ignorant or am I in the right for feeling this way?
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urlocalinmate
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You're not in the wrong. He should be there for advice and support, but he seems overprotective and slightly narcisstic.
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HoldThisL
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i don't understand why the more he asks the less choice you feel you have

tell him to shut the **** up and punch him back if he does to you
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royalmilotic
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wow he sounds like a weirdo poor you
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JOSephcampbell
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some decisions in life are hard.
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Kecifer
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(Original post by urlocalinmate)
You're not in the wrong. He should be there for advice and support, but he seems overprotective and slightly narcisstic.
Pretty much, he says that if it weren't for him I would struggle in life and that I only have him to support me so it's best if I "listen to him and don't piss him off". He said that none else will care for me as much as he is doing, honestly it sounds as if I am more of a gf than a friend to him.

Every single time I tell him that he is overreacting and is going overboard he gets even more mad, I try and talk to him as calmly as possible but he always seems so.....aggressive.
He said that I should actually follow his advice, my reply was "Emphasis on the word advice, meaning I will follow it if I want to or won't if I don't want to" and furthermore I added "You are pretty much trying to control my life and I am not cool with that".
He then said "I am only trying to help you make better choices but if you see that as controlling your life then idk for u" and then he stopped.
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Anonymous #1
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Get away from him lol. Run while you can...
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urlocalinmate
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(Original post by Kecifer)
Pretty much, he says that if it weren't for him I would struggle in life and that I only have him to support me so it's best if I "listen to him and don't piss him off". He said that none else will care for me as much as he is doing, honestly it sounds as if I am more of a gf than a friend to him.

Every single time I tell him that he is overreacting and is going overboard he gets even more mad, I try and talk to him as calmly as possible but he always seems so.....aggressive.
He said that I should actually follow his advice, my reply was "Emphasis on the word advice, meaning I will follow it if I want to or won't if I don't want to" and furthermore I added "You are pretty much trying to control my life and I am not cool with that".
He then said "I am only trying to help you make better choices but if you see that as controlling your life then idk for u" and then he stopped.
Unless he's your only friend, don't bother with him, it's for your sanity at the end of the day. He's definitely going overboard, his reaction speaks for itself.
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Kecifer
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(Original post by urlocalinmate)
Unless he's your only friend, don't bother with him, it's for your sanity at the end of the day. He's definitely going overboard, his reaction speaks for itself.
UPDATE: So I have spoken with my other friends and they too agree that he is going overboard, one of them even says that he is being manipulative at this rate which I can't help but agree with. We all hang around together but he is the only one that is causing trouble.
We were playing a little game of football and despite my best attempts at playing he always shouted at me, telling me to go home and even almost beat me up infront of a couple of strangers, I almost felt like crying but luckily I managed to hold back the tears. The others told him to leave me alone and that he is going too far.

Afterwards, one of my other friends suggested talking to the others and see if we can launch some sort of conspiracy against this "friend" of mine to see if everyone is in favour of kicking him out. He assures me that at least 2 people will back me but the other 2 he is not sure.

Only thing I am worried about is that this "friend" of mine has anger problems, he always gets so angry and aggressive if something slightly annoying especially when it concerns me is on his mind. Even if I block him, there is a good chance he knows my address (He needed it before to deliver a few gifts) so I wouldn't put it past him to find my neighbourhood and harass me in person. He does have anger issues no offense to him.
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urlocalinmate
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(Original post by Kecifer)
UPDATE: So I have spoken with my other friends and they too agree that he is going overboard, one of them even says that he is being manipulative at this rate which I can't help but agree with. We all hang around together but he is the only one that is causing trouble.
We were playing a little game of football and despite my best attempts at playing he always shouted at me, telling me to go home and even almost beat me up infront of a couple of strangers, I almost felt like crying but luckily I managed to hold back the tears. The others told him to leave me alone and that he is going too far.

Afterwards, one of my other friends suggested talking to the others and see if we can launch some sort of conspiracy against this "friend" of mine to see if everyone is in favour of kicking him out. He assures me that at least 2 people will back me but the other 2 he is not sure.

Only thing I am worried about is that this "friend" of mine has anger problems, he always gets so angry and aggressive if something slightly annoying especially when it concerns me is on his mind. Even if I block him, there is a good chance he knows my address (He needed it before to deliver a few gifts) so I wouldn't put it past him to find my neighbourhood and harass me in person. He does have anger issues no offense to him.
Yeah, he seems like a ****. It's really nice of your friends to defend you, I know how it feels too... Honestly, if he has a clean criminal record and doesn't physically assault people, then I wouldn't worry.
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Kecifer
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(Original post by urlocalinmate)
Yeah, he seems like a ****. It's really nice of your friends to defend you, I know how it feels too... Honestly, if he has a clean criminal record and doesn't physically assault people, then I wouldn't worry.
Ah unfortunately that's the type of person he seems. He has a lot of history of getting into fights, even when they could have easily been avoided by just saying "sorry". And he hates the police, like really loathes them for some reason.
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urlocalinmate
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(Original post by Kecifer)
Ah unfortunately that's the type of person he seems. He has a lot of history of getting into fights, even when they could have easily been avoided by just saying "sorry". And he hates the police, like really loathes them for some reason.
Unreasonable, the police are here for enforcing the law and protecting the public. He needs help. I'd learn self-defence and body control (so you know how to land well after a fall or something), also try to be with your friends, you'll have strength in numbers. If you're paranoid the police are here to help.
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