Hooking up and feeling guilty

I (18M) have a GAD and I find it hard to let myself relax and enjoy things. Today I hooked up with a guy double my age. He was 36. He was really nice, made it clear that if I was uncomfortable with anything to say it and that he didn't want to make me feel creeped out. The hookup was incredible. I feel incredibly guilty about hooking up, I'd said to my family that I was just going to get coffee with a friend. Is the age gap that big of an issue? I prefer more mature guys as I myself am quite mature but I can't help but feel incredibly guilty about any hookup I go on? I'm not ready to date and he knows this, but I don't want to offend by saying I don't ever want to do it again and I don't want to just block because thats really rude.

Is this normal?

Reply 1

SPM1888

13

Erm - I would say that any guilt you have about telling a fib to your family is pretty normal to be honest, to an extent. Personally, I wouldn't be feeling too guilty as I'd rather tell a fib to my family instead of telling them the truth lol.

I wouldn't feel guilty for him or his age either to be honest, if it was just a hookup... he will be looking for the same most likely.

Stop worrying.

Reply 2

OctoberRain7

15

If you think that hooking up again would only bring more guilt, it's not going to be worth it. For your own sake you shouldn't have sex if it's likely to emotionally hurt you. (There's nothing to feel guilty about though, hooking up was completely your decision to make and lying to your family probably feels pretty bad but it's something that we all do and didn't hurt them.) Your comfort and mental health are more important than not offending anyone, you are perfectly entitled to say "that was great but my headspace is such that I'd just like it to be a one-off, thanks".

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

This is the only chat I can find on this. I have been on and off with this man for nearly a year and every time I come back to my hometown we end up together. I have never told my parents either but when I'm away all I think about is him. the age gap is the same i.e he is 18 yrs older than me and idk if to carry on with just scared ill catch feelings again.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post

by Anonymous

I (18M) have a GAD and I find it hard to let myself relax and enjoy things. Today I hooked up with a guy double my age. He was 36. He was really nice, made it clear that if I was uncomfortable with anything to say it and that he didn't want to make me feel creeped out. The hookup was incredible. I feel incredibly guilty about hooking up, I'd said to my family that I was just going to get coffee with a friend. Is the age gap that big of an issue? I prefer more mature guys as I myself am quite mature but I can't help but feel incredibly guilty about any hookup I go on? I'm not ready to date and he knows this, but I don't want to offend by saying I don't ever want to do it again and I don't want to just block because thats really rude.
Is this normal?

Did he spoil you

Reply 5

Anonymous #4

I'd say it isn't something to feel guilty about at all, sex isn't something that should make you feel guilty but girls are often shamed to. The issue is that at least subconsciously, something about this has made you feel uncomfortable, and that may be his age or something else - that seems like an indicator that you should tell him it's a one off and try to move on. Doing it again might make you feel more in control but then I think once that wears off you'd feel that weird feeling again. But if anything happens despite that, it's your choice and there's no need to feel bad.

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

Let me ask you something did you enjoy it at the time and did he make you feel happy if the answers to those questions are yes and you were safe and he respected you why are you feeling guilty. It may have been a hookup but you both knew what you was getting in to just meeting for sex so I don't see the problem.

Hooking up and feeling guilty

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