I think I am starting to have feelings for my gay best freind...

Hi! So back a few years ago my best freind said he had feelings for me. I didn't have them back at the time, because I was still hung up on my old crush. He always said he had dreams about me (I will spare you the details lmao) we have talked about it more recently, and I am teasing him about his feelings for me a lot more. I also feel jealous when he has a crush on a guy now that clearly is straight and doesn't like him back. (His recent crush told him he had a girlfreind a few days ago.) I asked him how gay he thought he was yesterday (He never suspected anything) and he said 90 percent because he still finds girls cute. Now I know that is a low percentage but seeing as he did have a crush on me before, do you think it could work? I am not completely sure of my feelings, but I keep thinking about him nonstop. He also said he liked me back in junior school when we weren't really freinds and we didn't really see each other because I am in the year above him. I don't want to ruin anything we have as we are so close, but I have never had a boyfreind and he hasn't had a relationship either. My freinds are also saying he will be with this past guy for ever. Maybe I should spare myself the heartache and not say a thing?

Thx guys just realised how long this was haha
BTW I am bisexual

Hey guys! So I am editing this post around two months after I had feelings for this guy. He asked me out a few days ago and called me things like babe and said that he never got over his crush on me and I looked really hot in the dress I wore at prom (we had a close gathering with a few close freinds to make up for the fact we didn't have a prom in both of our years) and the morning after he said that (it was the evening, so about 10 hours or so later) on my first day of sixth form at a new school (I am repeating year 12) he broke it off saying there was a lot of hot guys and he prefered boys over girls. (he claimed he was bisexual) he said this was because of his autism- can anyone with autism help me out here, as I have no idea what it is like, being an autistic? But this really hurt my feelings- it felt like he used me as an "experiment" and he didn't really consider how I would feel. (again him being autistic, I don't really know how much of this he can help.) Has this ever happened to one of you guys? If so, how did you respond? I feel like IF he wants to be freinds (which he clearly does from his constant messages) he needs to make an effort and see me in person. There are just some things you can't do over text, if you get what I mean? Considering this has majorly messed up my self esteem, I need him to him to talk to me in person so we don't misunderstand each other.

Thank you again!

(edited 2 years ago)

Reply 1

auiii

i think you should tell them, i think you should just go for it.
you will never know what could have happened if you never tried : )
just be honest with them,

hope this helps

Reply 2

FireonIce

Original post by auiii

i think you should tell them, i think you should just go for it.
you will never know what could have happened if you never tried : )
just be honest with them,

hope this helps

I am just really shy about this sort of thing, I have never told a guy I liked them before face to face

Reply 3

auiii

i can relate to you, im basically mute when i meet anyone new haha.
but you know your best friend so dont change yourself to talk to them. they know you and you know them and im sure that if you do it you will feel good about doing it.

if they dont like you back at least you will receive that reassurance however i think that there is a higher chance of them still liking you and wanting to be with you.

Reply 4

ran-dumb

He said he had feelings for you, so there's a good chance, although of course he might've moved on and now like somebody else like that past guy. If you're thinking of him all the time though you really should give it a shot and at least get to stop wondering. You could try to ask a bit subtly if he still likes you or something like that

Reply 5

FireonIce

Original post by auiii

I guess but I just don't want anything to change in our freindship you know?

Reply 6

FireonIce

Original post by *****deadness

Yeah thats my problem as it was a few years ago. He may think I am joking if I said it now. Any tips on how to ask him subtly?

Reply 7

ran-dumb

Original post by FireonIce

Yeah thats my problem as it was a few years ago. He may think I am joking if I said it now. Any tips on how to ask him subtly?

I have no experience so I'm just from a general perspective, and I was thinking of something that can get him to tell you if he still has feelings while not spoiling that you do. I'm not sure of the past guy/dreams of you timeline, but you could ask as a 'curious' question how he has those dreams of you while having a crush on someone, so 'who does he actually think of?' sort of question. That'll probably get him to say if you're on his mind or even if he still likes you

Reply 8

username5776776

I think if he said he had feelings for you in the past, it’s a fairly safe bet to tell him how you feel. I doubt it would change anything as he has previously told you how he felt, so your relationship seems solid.

YOLO, go for it. Don’t live in regret. :smile: