What is expected of me for a first date?

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Anonymous #1
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So i’m 23 and have never been on a first date. I might potentially be going in one soon and i’m not sure what’s expected of me. In currently talking to 2 different girls. One girl lives fairly close about 10 miles away from me and would I be expected to pick her up for the date or not because she doesn’t drive? The location is about 2 miles from me but it’s on the opposite direction to her so I would have to travel to 10 miles to her and 12 to the location if that makes sense. Am I expected to pick her up?

Also for the second girl she lives in London and i’m from the Midlands. So i’m guessing i’m expected to travel to London for the date right?
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Delusion6
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if you're talking to her then simply talk to her about that. ask her whether she wants you to pick her up. if she says yes then do so, if she says no i'll meet you there then do that.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So i’m 23 and have never been on a first date. I might potentially be going in one soon and i’m not sure what’s expected of me.
Not to be dating 2 girls at the same time!

The point of dating is to get to know someone better and you can't do that when you are dividing your time. Plus it's not fair on either girl to be leading one on when she's got certain expectations; that's emotional cheating. Make a decision.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Surnia)
Not to be dating 2 girls at the same time!

The point of dating is to get to know someone better and you can't do that when you are dividing your time. Plus it's not fair on either girl to be leading one on when she's got certain expectations; that's emotional cheating. Make a decision.
Hes clearly not dating both girls tbf. He's going on a date with both. Nothing wrong with that at all, its perfectly normal. However if both go well then yes that's when he needs to make a choice on whobto continue dates with.
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Ackhnologia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So i’m 23 and have never been on a first date. I might potentially be going in one soon and i’m not sure what’s expected of me. In currently talking to 2 different girls. One girl lives fairly close about 10 miles away from me and would I be expected to pick her up for the date or not because she doesn’t drive? The location is about 2 miles from me but it’s on the opposite direction to her so I would have to travel to 10 miles to her and 12 to the location if that makes sense. Am I expected to pick her up?

Also for the second girl she lives in London and i’m from the Midlands. So i’m guessing i’m expected to travel to London for the date right?
Hi there.
Well a lot of things I guess. You are man so.
You will have to pick them up; show that you can protect them; you will have to entertain them ; show that you are a confident alpha; you will to initiate everything; will have to pass the famous **** tests; you will have to be the one to keep the conversations going; and also you will to be the one who pays for both, if you pay only for yourself you will not be considered as a gentleman and seen as stingy or misogynist.
That is it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hes clearly not dating both girls tbf. He's going on a date with both. Nothing wrong with that at all, its perfectly normal. However if both go well then yes that's when he needs to make a choice on whobto continue dates with.
Yeah exactly, I was talking to one girl for super long and got burnt and everyone told me I was stupid for speaking to just one girl so i’m not trying to make that mistake again
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ackhnologia)
Hi there.
Well a lot of things I guess. You are man so.
You will have to pick them up; show that you can protect them; you will have to entertain them ; show that you are a confident alpha; you will to initiate everything; will have to pass the famous fu¢k tests; you will have to be the one to keep the conversations going; and also you will to be the one who pays for both, if you pay only for yourself you will not be considered as a gentleman and seen as stingy or misogynist.
That is it.
Yh no worries, i’m a little worried about initiating stuff like kisses or breaking the touch barrier. Never done it before and I feel like she will expect me to know what i’m doing. But I guess we move, no point being nervous
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Zarek
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Discuss with them what they would like. Some people will be cautious about being alone in a car with someone they hardly know. To be honest I’d forget the London option unless you feel very enthusiastic, it’s too far away really for a speculative date
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Ackhnologia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yh no worries, i’m a little worried about initiating stuff like kisses or breaking the touch barrier. Never done it before and I feel like she will expect me to know what i’m doing. But I guess we move, no point being nervous
Of course she will expect you to know what you are doing. Most women despise the idea of an inexperienced man wether in relationship or sexually.
But you seem to be confident. That is good.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hes clearly not dating both girls tbf. He's going on a date with both. Nothing wrong with that at all, its perfectly normal. However if both go well then yes that's when he needs to make a choice on whobto continue dates with.
If I walk down a street I'm walking, so how is going on a date not dating? And no, it's not normal to do this. I met a guy at work who asked me out to dinner; he wasn't seeing anyone else and deciding if I was a better option, nor did he go out with others once we'd started spending more time together.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah exactly, I was talking to one girl for super long and got burnt and everyone told me I was stupid for speaking to just one girl so i’m not trying to make that mistake again
It's not stupid to only talk to one girl, but it is unfair to be seeing 2 girls at once. Are you going to be honest and tell them they are up against someone else as an option for a relationship? Why would you even be thinking of kissing on a first date with 2 different girls? You are getting them emotionally invested with plans to drop one; you don't like being burnt, so how do you think they'll feel?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Ackhnologia)
Of course she will expect you to know what you are doing. Most women despise the idea of an inexperienced man wether in relationship or sexually.
But you seem to be confident. That is good.
Yh i’m fairly confident with talking to them etc and having fun. Just the more intimate stuff i’m slightly nervous of
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
It's not stupid to only talk to one girl, but it is unfair to be seeing 2 girls at once. Are you going to be honest and tell them they are up against someone else as an option for a relationship? Why would you even be thinking of kissing on a first date with 2 different girls? You are getting them emotionally invested with plans to drop one; you don't like being burnt, so how do you think they'll feel?
To be honest they are most likely talking to multiple other guys too, that’s just how dating is in 2021. 95% of women won’t be exclusively talking to you until at least a few dates in and you have to have a discussion at that.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
To be honest they are most likely talking to multiple other guys too, that’s just how dating is in 2021. 95% of women won’t be exclusively talking to you until at least a few dates in and you have to have a discussion at that.
So how many dates is 'a few' and where's this 95% come from? I know people who are dating and they are exclusive from the off, not already having a Plan B in case a person doesn't fit the bill. You could be stringing along each of these girls for weeks trying to get to know them. And you're wanting to get emotionally involved and be kissing them before deciding which one to call your girlfriend?
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Baby_Stitch
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You should only date one girl at a time, to attempt to ‘go out’ with more than one is bad.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Surnia)
Not to be dating 2 girls at the same time!

The point of dating is to get to know someone better and you can't do that when you are dividing your time. Plus it's not fair on either girl to be leading one on when she's got certain expectations; that's emotional cheating. Make a decision.

I disagree.


That’s just like saying you should only talk to 1 person during a talking stage. It just doesn’t work like that in my books.


(Original post by Anonymous)
Hes clearly not dating both girls tbf. He's going on a date with both. Nothing wrong with that at all, its perfectly normal. However if both go well then yes that's when he needs to make a choice on whobto continue dates with.

I agree.
Last edited by CaptainDuckie; 1 week ago
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Surnia)
If I walk down a street I'm walking, so how is going on a date not dating?
A date is just seeing whether or not your compatible with this person. Nothing is actually exclusive at this point.

(Original post by Surnia)
And no, it's not normal to do this. I met a guy at work who asked me out to dinner; he wasn't seeing anyone else and deciding if I was a better option,

1 experience you’ve had does not mean that trying to find which of the two girls he’s more compatible with is wrong.

The guy who asked you out probably didn’t have other options to consider, but if he did then there’s nothing wrong with that.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Surnia)
You could be stringing along each of these girls for weeks trying to get to know them. And you're wanting to get emotionally involved and be kissing them before deciding which one to call your girlfriend?

Who said OP would be stringing them along for weeks? It’s only then it can get messy, but for now all he has done is wanting to go on a date with them.


Plus, by the first date, you should pretty much know that the person is for you.
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CaptainDuckie
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(Original post by Surnia)
it is unfair to be seeing 2 girls at once. Are you going to be honest and tell them they are up against someone else as an option for a relationship?
Of course not, that’s just called being disrespectful. If they ask you, sure. You can explain that they are, especially when they ask you on how you feel about them

(Original post by Surnia)
Why would you even be thinking of kissing on a first date with 2 different girls?

You don’t have to kiss on every first date you go on. But even if you did, why not? You like this person and on a date with them. Similarly with the other person. You’re telling me that you haven’t kissed two people that you liked before?

(Original post by Surnia)
You are getting them emotionally invested with plans to drop one; you don't like being burnt, so how do you think they'll feel?

Imo, there’s nothing wrong with this. With no exclusivity, there is no investment. If they want to catch feelings just from a first date, then it sounds more like their own problem.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So i’m 23 and have never been on a first date. I might potentially be going in one soon and i’m not sure what’s expected of me. In currently talking to 2 different girls. One girl lives fairly close about 10 miles away from me and would I be expected to pick her up for the date or not because she doesn’t drive? The location is about 2 miles from me but it’s on the opposite direction to her so I would have to travel to 10 miles to her and 12 to the location if that makes sense. Am I expected to pick her up?

Also for the second girl she lives in London and i’m from the Midlands. So i’m guessing i’m expected to travel to London for the date right?
Ignore the person that said you are in the wrong for going on a first date with two different girls. Most people do this and it wastes less of your time than one as if you and that one girl don't match then you've got to try hard again just to get another first date.
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