Have you ever loved someone with anger issues?

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Anonymous #1
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How was the relationship and the fights? how did you deal with them
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V℮rsions
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You'd have to define anger issues first mate.
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Surnia
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Deal with it by leaving; anger is toxic in a relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Deal with it by leaving; anger is toxic in a relationship.
you don't think it's solvable? would you say there is no love if it's toxic like this?
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Surnia)
Deal with it by leaving; anger is toxic in a relationship.
You are right. Being with an angry person can absolutely ruin your life, especially if you do not have anger issues yourself.
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Oxford Mum
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(Original post by Anonymous)
you don't think it's solvable? would you say there is no love if it's toxic like this?
There may be love, but it's not acceptable if the other person keeps being angry, especially if it for very slight reasons. I was married to an angry person and later had a relationship with an angry person as well. Recently I have met someone without anger issues and believe me, it's like being let out of prison. I just wish I had met him sooner. Don't put up with terrible treatment. You deserve better.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
you don't think it's solvable? would you say there is no love if it's toxic like this?
No-one should bring their anger issues into a relationship. If they do, they've already failed.

Haven't you asked about this before?
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harrysbar
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My daughter used to date someone with anger issues and it was one drama after another. He was never happy because he saw darkness in everything, he even described himself as a dark cloud. For the sake of your mental health, it is best to accept they won't change and leave them before you get any more deeply involved.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
There may be love, but it's not acceptable if the other person keeps being angry, especially if it for very slight reasons. I was married to an angry person and later had a relationship with an angry person as well. Recently I have met someone without anger issues and believe me, it's like being let out of prison. I just wish I had met him sooner. Don't put up with terrible treatment. You deserve better.
they should learn to deal with it. Maybe they don't know any better. If you loved that person you wouldn't have left him, you would help him work through those issues honestly. As emtions take over and your rational thinking goes out the window. How do you so easily give up and say ok you have a problem i'm out. You both should discuss and try to find a solution to make it work, not just walk outl. Especially if you love them. This new person of yours may not have an anger problem but they for sure have something else that gets on your nerves. Nobody is perfect, and if you love them you wouldn't have let them get way. That's very selfish and definitelty not love.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by harrysbar)
My daughter used to date someone with anger issues and it was one drama after another. He was never happy because he saw darkness in everything, he even described himself as a dark cloud. For the sake of your mental health, it is best to accept they won't change and leave them before you get any more deeply involved.
You know what sometimes they can't help it and it's out of their control. That's why there are anger-management courses. Anger is changea ble and manageabnle if there is an incentive as big as love.

they should learn to deal with it. Maybe they don't know any better. If you loved that person you wouldn't have left him, you would help him work through those issues honestly. As emtions take over and your rational thinking goes out the window. How do you so easily give up and say ok you have a problem i'm out. You both should discuss and try to find a solution to make it work, not just walk outl. Especially if you love them. This new person of yours may not have an anger problem but they for sure have something else that gets on your nerves. Nobody is perfect, and if you love them you wouldn't have let them get way. That's very selfish and definitelty not love.
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StriderHort
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Bit sad seeing people getting told to dump people with any anger issues instantly, I doubt they'd be so quick to openly throw other mental health issues on the scrap heap.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Bit sad seeing people getting told to dump people with any anger issues instantly, I doubt they'd be so quick to openly throw other mental health issues on the scrap heap.
these are the people who don't have anyone and talking out of misery
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gjd800
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Yes, and for 2 years I tried to help them through it but in the end it just didn't work
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harrysbar
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(Original post by StriderHort)
Bit sad seeing people getting told to dump people with any anger issues instantly, I doubt they'd be so quick to openly throw other mental health issues on the scrap heap.
You have no idea what my daughter went through by being in a relationship with someone with anger issues. His emotional abuse of her escalated over time and by the end was becoming physical. That was the point at which she gave up on him although she did love him very much.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by harrysbar)
You have no idea what my daughter went through by being in a relationship with someone with anger issues. His emotional abuse of her escalated over time and by the end was becoming physical. That was the point at which she gave up on him although she did love him very much.
I don't think/hope anyone would suggest such extremes are acceptable, but some posters attitudes came off as pretty dismissive and offensive imo. I have mild anger issues but these have never once resulted in physical or openly emotional abuse of a partner, ever. So it's feels a bit low to see people writing you off completely as someone to leave instantly with no exceptions. Like I don't deserve to be loved, yeah?
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harrysbar
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(Original post by StriderHort)
I don't think/hope anyone would suggest such extremes are acceptable, but some posters attitudes came off as pretty dismissive and offensive imo. I have mild anger issues but these have never once resulted in physical or openly emotional abuse of a partner, ever. So it's feels a bit low to see people writing you off completely as someone to leave instantly with no exceptions. Like I don't deserve to be loved, yeah?
Equally it could be argued that you are writing off the experiences of people who have lived with people with anger issues and suffered emotionally (and sometimes more) from the experience.

I don't want to get personal with you at all, and it sounds like your own anger issues are mild. But it is very hard living with people who do have serious anger issues and unless they accept the need for counselling etc, there is not much hope of them being able to change. The problems are often very deep rooted dating back to childhood experiences. I can sympathise with those people but unless they accept they have a problem and are really trying to get to the bottom of it with cognitative therapy etc, I'm afraid I would see it as a red flag in a relationship.
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StriderHort
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(Original post by harrysbar)
Equally it could be argued that you are writing off the experiences of people who have lived with people with anger issues and suffered emotionally (and sometimes more) from the experience.

I don't want to get personal with you at all, and it sounds like your own anger issues are mild. But it is very hard living with people who do have serious anger issues and unless they accept the need for counselling etc, there is not much hope of them being able to change. The problems are often very deep rooted dating back to childhood experiences. I can sympathise with those people but unless they accept they have a problem and are really trying to get to the bottom of it with cognitative therapy etc, I'm afraid I would see it as a red flag in a relationship.
Not arguing with any of that at all, I'm upset at being lumped in the same category and left to rot. The comments have already offended me so with respect a 3rd party isn't going to talk me out of that.
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harrysbar
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(Original post by Oxford Mum)
Recently I have met someone without anger issues and believe me, it's like being let out of prison. I just wish I had met him sooner.
So happy for you that you have met someone nice, OM :kissing2:
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gjd800
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(Original post by StriderHort)
I don't think/hope anyone would suggest such extremes are acceptable, but some posters attitudes came off as pretty dismissive and offensive imo. I have mild anger issues but these have never once resulted in physical or openly emotional abuse of a partner, ever. So it's feels a bit low to see people writing you off completely as someone to leave instantly with no exceptions. Like I don't deserve to be loved, yeah?
Yes, this is 100% fair

I only made the break with my ex when it got physical and I just couldn't bear to put up with it. I think there are sometines ways around it otherwise
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by harrysbar)
Equally it could be argued that you are writing off the experiences of people who have lived with people with anger issues and suffered emotionally (and sometimes more) from the experience.

I don't want to get personal with you at all, and it sounds like your own anger issues are mild. But it is very hard living with people who do have serious anger issues and unless they accept the need for counselling etc, there is not much hope of them being able to change. The problems are often very deep rooted dating back to childhood experiences. I can sympathise with those people but unless they accept they have a problem and are really trying to get to the bottom of it with cognitative therapy etc, I'm afraid I would see it as a red flag in a relationship.
i have suggested it to him and he's open to me
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