Why my family have put me off IslamWatch
1.sharing is caring
2. I find it therapeutic letting strangers know how I feel
So I’m a Muslim girl (not going to mention where I’m from originally bc irrelevant and easier to stereotype).
My family (not sure whether it’s intentional or not) tend to use guilt trips to control me. It was hard to move out for university and they made it difficult despite it being an important step for me and a rite of passage.
The funny thing is, my brother openly drinks and smokes and is allowed to travel wherever without anyone’s consent. I am only allowed within a certain radius of home and they use Islam to justify that. Apparently the women should be kept at home and controlled for whatever **** reason.
I’ve just reached the point where I’m exhausted and I don’t really care - I would be happy breaking off the relationship with them because of how toxic they are.
The double standards and sexism with these Muslims (saying that because I don’t believe the religion is at fault, it’s how it’s being interpreted) is crazy. And I give up with these people.
It’s funny because there’s Muslim men get up to so much **** but no one blinks an eyelid because of how much power they’re given. Just look at the whole Rochdale situation as an example.
Student life, in partnership with UEA
Firstly, I’m sorry you’re being subjected to what I believe is sexist, unfair treatment. The fact that it is at the hands of your family, those who are supposed to protect and love you unconditionally, just makes it all the more upsetting.
Religion aside, girls and women generally have it harder in all areas of life than men due to a combination of societal and gendered expectations as to what our role is and how we should behave. It isn’t fair, right or equal that men are encouraged or allowed to behave in ways girls and women are discouraged, shamed or berated for doing.
Your family’s interpretation - and it is an interpretation - of Islam is compounding this pre-existing burden girls and women are born with and making it increasingly challenging for you to live your life with autonomy and liberty.
They are exploiting the religion for their own benefits by using it as a tool to get you to do what they want. And they are doing this by attempting to make you feel ashamed of and guilty for doing everyday things. I expect you already know that this is, unfortunately, not uncommon and that many women are experiencing the same thing. Cultural interpretations of the Quran are what make Islam one of the most misunderstood religions and give it a bad (and unwarranted) reputation.
I’m glad that you recognise this for what it is but I’m also sad that their actions are putting you off Islam. I’m not a religious person and never have been but believers often talk about needing their god(s) during difficult times, and it sounds like you’re going through one now.
Sorry, I can’t offer much in the way of practical advice but sometimes it can be helpful knowing that people understand what you’re going through, and that you’re not alone. It’s good that you’re sharing your sorry with others. Keep talking to people.
Have you tried telling your family that their interpretation is misaligned with the actual teaching of Islam and that they’re using the holy book to manipulate you?
I think you’re only options are moving out as soon as you’re able to though I appreciate that might not be an option depending on your culture.
All the best, I hope things improve for you stay strong.