Not sure if he's genuinely interested...

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I've known this guy since my childhood and we liked each other a bit when we were teens. Anyways, after uni we went on a couple of dates and had sex and then he basically ghosted me. Like he cancelled a date by just not replying to my messages. Since then (been about 6 years), we've chatted here and there and I've been in relationships and when they've ended we've been back in touch and gone on a date then I got into a relationship again as things never developed. I think I've always liked him despite how he's treated me in the past. I feel like he likes me too but I also feel like he's never put in a lot of effort. He's a good looking guy and must get a lot of female attention. I think he's not been in a relationship and enjoys being single and also he works ALOT. I just don't know if he just doesn't like me that much or if he's genuinely a commitment phobe.

Anyway, recently we've been chatting again and I went over to his for some drinks. It was a spontaneous thing and we ended up having sex. Since this, he's been texting me regularly and initiated a date where he'd cook for me. The first time, he messaged me saying he has to stay in work late and sort of asked me if I wanted to cancel. He then said he'd promise to make it up to and re-arranged the date. On the day, in the morning, he messaged me a detailed text explaining that he has to go into work on his day off etc and ended it by saying that he definitely wants to see me again soon. However, since this (it's been almost two weeks) he's not really been messaging as frequently and I don't know if he's just genuinely busy. I feel like I'm reaching out to him and he does reply and send lovely messages back (so he's not ignoring my texts).

Anyways, we recently went on another date which he initiated (after I asked when we were seeing each other again). On the date, he was lovely, paid for our taxi there and back and bought our drinks. I went back to his and we just cuddled and watched a film. We had sex and it felt so loving. He said he enjoyed the evening and that we will do it again the following week.
He did message me the day after and now he's rarely been in touch. I said I want to see him again and he said he definitely does and we'll do something next week (he's isolating at the moment).

I just feel like I'm the one initiating the texts and he does still seem interested but I think I'd prefer it if he was chasing me for another date but it feels like it's the other way round... I don't know if he actually likes me or wants to pursue anything.
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MysticalCreature
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#2
Report 1 month ago
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Hi there! I have had one guy just disappear and re-appear into my life quite a few times, so i did my own research a while back and discovered some things i didn't really want to hear... I learnt that some guys will ghost you only to re-appear again further down the line to prove to themselves they can get you again. Giving into them will make you look like you're easy to get so they will keep repeating this cycle over and over again because they know you'll let them in.

Now I don't think you'll like what I'm about to say so brace yourself... To me, it looks like he is using you for a quick hook up because he thinks you're easy to get... I think you should move on and find someone who is willing to stay by you instead of wasting your time on a guy who just comes back into your life when he pleases and leaves once he's gotten what he wanted. men are very complicated and their brains are wired differently, especially when it comes to relationships. At the end of the day it is your decision. I wish you well in whatever decision you make! <3

Long story short: I don't think he's interested...
Last edited by MysticalCreature; 1 month ago
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