I REALLY NEED ADVICE, are they making it obvious?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Hi,

I've got a couple of friends (I'm a girl, she/her, my friends are one guy, he/him, and girl, she/her, just so you guys know I'm a girl with another girl and guy) that I'm really close with, we spend a lot of time together. I've known them for almost a year now.

They've had casual sex a few times, and we make jokes about having threesomes and me and the girl are very close and joke about us having sex (I'm attracted to men and women btw). We've smoked together quite a few times and we all know that we feel really horny when we smoke, and me and the girl have exchanged pics (not sexually just showing each other our sexy pics). We also showed each other pics in person while we were high and the guy was there (he didn't see the pics but he knew what we were doing).

The other day we smoked together, and I was picking up vibes that the girl was getting very close and was looking at my lips and touching me and stuff and we might've been about to kiss. You know when you get that vibe?

We smoked again a couple of days later, and I got the same vibes from both of them and there was a lot of jokes about sex and stuff, and there was touching and grabbing and things that were turn on's for us all, because we all know each others kinks and stuff.

I don't know if I'm ready to have a threesome (I'm still a virgin btw) as I get really nervous, but it also makes me really excited. It might just be the smoking that makes me think it, but do you think there's anything there? Is it just the smoking that's making me overthink? Do you think they're genuinely hinting at it as the vibes are veryyy strong. I feel like I'd be down for it, but I wouldn't be able to ask for it as I'd feel really exposed and nervous.

What should I do, and how do I know that's what they want? Is it obvious?
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WazzWazz98
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi,

I've got a couple of friends (I'm a girl, she/her, my friends are one guy, he/him, and girl, she/her, just so you guys know I'm a girl with another girl and guy) that I'm really close with, we spend a lot of time together. I've known them for almost a year now.

They've had casual sex a few times, and we make jokes about having threesomes and me and the girl are very close and joke about us having sex (I'm attracted to men and women btw). We've smoked together quite a few times and we all know that we feel really horny when we smoke, and me and the girl have exchanged pics (not sexually just showing each other our sexy pics). We also showed each other pics in person while we were high and the guy was there (he didn't see the pics but he knew what we were doing).

The other day we smoked together, and I was picking up vibes that the girl was getting very close and was looking at my lips and touching me and stuff and we might've been about to kiss. You know when you get that vibe?

We smoked again a couple of days later, and I got the same vibes from both of them and there was a lot of jokes about sex and stuff, and there was touching and grabbing and things that were turn on's for us all, because we all know each others kinks and stuff.

I don't know if I'm ready to have a threesome (I'm still a virgin btw) as I get really nervous, but it also makes me really excited. It might just be the smoking that makes me think it, but do you think there's anything there? Is it just the smoking that's making me overthink? Do you think they're genuinely hinting at it as the vibes are veryyy strong. I feel like I'd be down for it, but I wouldn't be able to ask for it as I'd feel really exposed and nervous.

What should I do, and how do I know that's what they want? Is it obvious?
You won't know until you ask them frankly but it seems that way
As this is your first time you must take such a decision when you are completely in your senses after much deliberation
Do you really want to dedicate your first time to something casual?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
You won't know until you ask them frankly but it seems that way
As this is your first time you must take such a decision when you are completely in your senses after much deliberation
Do you really want to dedicate your first time to something casual?
I suppose I'm not hugely bothered about being in a committed relationship for my first time. It would be great, but either way I'm excited about the idea of having sex. It seems thrilling. Especially having sex while high. My biggest thing is trust, and I do trust them both. So that's good I guess!

The only thing is I'm worried about panicking in the moment and then pulling out. I don't want to get embarrassed but I know it's not something I can help because losing your virginity can be a big deal.
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WazzWazz98
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I suppose I'm not hugely bothered about being in a committed relationship for my first time. It would be great, but either way I'm excited about the idea of having sex. It seems thrilling. Especially having sex while high. My biggest thing is trust, and I do trust them both. So that's good I guess!

The only thing is I'm worried about panicking in the moment and then pulling out. I don't want to get embarrassed but I know it's not something I can help because losing your virginity can be a big deal.
Your body, your choice
You absolutely have the right to pull out at any moment be it before or during a particular act

My concern would be around consent if you were high, regardless of how well you know these two
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
Your body, your choice
You absolutely have the right to pull out at any moment be it before or during a particular act

My concern would be around consent if you were high, regardless of how well you know these two
That's my concern too if I'm being honest. I've thought about it a lot while high and while 'present minded' haha, and I would like to try it in both headspaces. I feel like I've always imagined being high for my first time, because I feel at ease trying things while high and it calms my anxiety.

And I do get very horny when I'm high, so both sides of me wants it I'm just not sure if it's all genuinely me or if I'm pretending to want it because I'm horny... if that makes sense??
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WazzWazz98
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's my concern too if I'm being honest. I've thought about it a lot while high and while 'present minded' haha, and I would like to try it in both headspaces. I feel like I've always imagined being high for my first time, because I feel at ease trying things while high and it calms my anxiety.

And I do get very horny when I'm high, so both sides of me wants it I'm just not sure if it's all genuinely me or if I'm pretending to want it because I'm horny... if that makes sense??
It does make sense
I think as a virgin is it difficult to know how you feel because you don't have anything to compare it to in a way?
Also consider how it might affect your friendship with the couple as well
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
It does make sense
I think as a virgin is it difficult to know how you feel because you don't have anything to compare it to in a way?
Also consider how it might affect your friendship with the couple as well
That's actually a great point, never thought of it that way! That's probably why I don't know if it's genuine or not...

Also, I reckon we'd still be the same. The guy and girl have had sex a few times and are still friends, and they know I know they've had sex. The guy knows I find him sexually attractive and the girl knows I'm attracted to women and think she's attractive. We're all really good friends, and are openly sexual people, so I don't think it would change much except maybe having regular hook-ups or something. I didn't think about the after part before though, I've always been thinking about it in the moment. Like, the first time I got the vibe I thought it was just the high, but there was a stronger vibe the next time and I genuinely thought it was going to happen in that moment that I kind of walked away for a minute to control myself. I was nervous but I think it was in a good way??
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WazzWazz98
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's actually a great point, never thought of it that way! That's probably why I don't know if it's genuine or not...

Also, I reckon we'd still be the same. The guy and girl have had sex a few times and are still friends, and they know I know they've had sex. The guy knows I find him sexually attractive and the girl knows I'm attracted to women and think she's attractive. We're all really good friends, and are openly sexual people, so I don't think it would change much except maybe having regular hook-ups or something. I didn't think about the after part before though, I've always been thinking about it in the moment. Like, the first time I got the vibe I thought it was just the high, but there was a stronger vibe the next time and I genuinely thought it was going to happen in that moment that I kind of walked away for a minute to control myself. I was nervous but I think it was in a good way??
Nerves are expected so don't worry on that part
I would start with sensual touching / kissing etc to begin with rather than full penetration immediately though

Start off sober and real slow
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
Nerves are expected so don't worry on that part
I would start with sensual touching / kissing etc to begin with rather than full penetration immediately though

Start off sober and real slow
I always dived straight into it and imagined full on sex. I kind of forgot about the little things for a minute. I've never kissed someone either, but I'd be cool with that. I honestly don't know how I'm this sexually open (you could say) when I've never had a sexual experience with another person??
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WazzWazz98
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I always dived straight into it and imagined full on sex. I kind of forgot about the little things for a minute. I've never kissed someone either, but I'd be cool with that. I honestly don't know how I'm this sexually open (you could say) when I've never had a sexual experience with another person??
It's the excitement of venturing into the unknown I think

But definitely don't get ahead of yourself if you've never even kissed anyone yet
Enjoy every bit and build up a new layer of activity each time
There's no rush at all
Even if you just want casual you will become emotionally attached to an extent the first time so you do have to be very careful about your state of mind constantly
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by WazzWazz98)
It's the excitement of venturing into the unknown I think

But definitely don't get ahead of yourself if you've never even kissed anyone yet
Enjoy every bit and build up a new layer of activity each time
There's no rush at all
Even if you just want casual you will become emotionally attached to an extent the first time so you do have to be very careful about your state of mind constantly
Everything you're saying makes so much sense... thanks for replying and answering my questions, this actually really helped. I'd definitely I'd like to build up to doing it, and I'll start small! You're really great at giving advice by the way
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