I told his girlfriend about our kiss, now Im super anxious. Please help

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hi. Ive been best friends with this guy for 12 years. Were literally each others double. We've always had little crushes on each other but have just never really been able to be more than that as we've both been in our own relationships at one time or another.

Anyways to cut a long story short a few weeks after I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, me and this friend ended up sleeping together a handful of times. It was so wrong of me because I knew he was still with his girlfriend of 2 years and it sounds so wrong to say but it did feel so right in the moment. It ended up progressing and because were in the same friend group we starting going out on 'dates' with our friends being there and then he suggested we progressed to just me and him. Feelings were definitely involved for me at this point and I think a little for him too.

It got to the point where we was seen out together by one of his girlfriends friends, who of course told her. His plan was to deny deny deny and just play on the fact that were close family friends, however I was so worried that the truth would come out. We were skating on very very fine ice.

He started to try and blame me. Which I totally understand I was very very much in the wrong but as was he, it takes two to tango. Honestly this is probably the most selfish thing Ive ever done, and if he had told me to stop and that he wanted to work things out with his gf, of course id stop. Anyways he kept denying these claims and I started to get harrassed by his gfs sisters. At that point I told him he needs to tell her everything or I will because id had enough of it all falling onto my shoulders. He was just as bad as me but coming out of it looking like an angel.

The next day he says he told her everything but I didn't fully believe that as she was still a little indecisive. I believe he twisted the story to save himself, she was calling me crazy, Im a liar and that Im obsessed with him and that i made it all up to hurt them. That upset me because yet again, hes come out looking like the good person when in fact, were both clearly the opposite. That evening I sent her all the screenshots I had of our inappropriate messages and pictures. I did also explain that I was not innocent either, I was also very much an awful person for doing what I did.

After sending those screenshots I got a message from him saying 'f off messaging me, you're dead to me' and blocked me on everything. Since then Ive had the worst sick, anxious feeling in my tummy. I know its a mixture of guilt - for my actions and breaking this poor girls heart aswell as well as in a way snaking my best mate, who I also was starting to catch feelings for. Although I do know it was 100% the right thing to do for her sake, Im absolutely gutted me and him cant at least be civil. I do understand his reasonings for being upset with me but he must also understand my side too surely.

Its hard because we used to talk and call every day. He's also the son of my mums best friend so again, super awkward situation. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this sick anxious feeling? I have lost my appetite and just want to stay in bed. I really want to pick myself up again. I keep telling myself that Im not the only bad guy here but its tough when I feel like Im cornered. I know i deserve to feel awful and to be tarnished for how i acted but I feel he's twisted it so that Im the person thats caused the hurt and he's the one hurting.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi. Ive been best friends with this guy for 12 years. Were literally each others double. We've always had little crushes on each other but have just never really been able to be more than that as we've both been in our own relationships at one time or another.

Anyways to cut a long story short a few weeks after I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, me and this friend ended up sleeping together a handful of times. It was so wrong of me because I knew he was still with his girlfriend of 2 years and it sounds so wrong to say but it did feel so right in the moment. It ended up progressing and because were in the same friend group we starting going out on 'dates' with our friends being there and then he suggested we progressed to just me and him. Feelings were definitely involved for me at this point and I think a little for him too.

It got to the point where we was seen out together by one of his girlfriends friends, who of course told her. His plan was to deny deny deny and just play on the fact that were close family friends, however I was so worried that the truth would come out. We were skating on very very fine ice.

He started to try and blame me. Which I totally understand I was very very much in the wrong but as was he, it takes two to tango. Honestly this is probably the most selfish thing Ive ever done, and if he had told me to stop and that he wanted to work things out with his gf, of course id stop. Anyways he kept denying these claims and I started to get harrassed by his gfs sisters. At that point I told him he needs to tell her everything or I will because id had enough of it all falling onto my shoulders. He was just as bad as me but coming out of it looking like an angel.

The next day he says he told her everything but I didn't fully believe that as she was still a little indecisive. I believe he twisted the story to save himself, she was calling me crazy, Im a liar and that Im obsessed with him and that i made it all up to hurt them. That upset me because yet again, hes come out looking like the good person when in fact, were both clearly the opposite. That evening I sent her all the screenshots I had of our inappropriate messages and pictures. I did also explain that I was not innocent either, I was also very much an awful person for doing what I did.

After sending those screenshots I got a message from him saying 'f off messaging me, you're dead to me' and blocked me on everything. Since then Ive had the worst sick, anxious feeling in my tummy. I know its a mixture of guilt - for my actions and breaking this poor girls heart aswell as well as in a way snaking my best mate, who I also was starting to catch feelings for. Although I do know it was 100% the right thing to do for her sake, Im absolutely gutted me and him cant at least be civil. I do understand his reasonings for being upset with me but he must also understand my side too surely.

Its hard because we used to talk and call every day. He's also the son of my mums best friend so again, super awkward situation. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this sick anxious feeling? I have lost my appetite and just want to stay in bed. I really want to pick myself up again. I keep telling myself that Im not the only bad guy here but its tough when I feel like Im cornered. I know i deserve to feel awful and to be tarnished for how i acted but I feel he's twisted it so that Im the person thats caused the hurt and he's the one hurting.
The most important thing is to learn from your mistakes and move on. You do not have time to bug yourself over someone that does not care about you anymore. You are feeling so down but your best mate is not so why should you be kicking yourself over someone that is indifferent to you anymore?

Yes you made a mistake and I am not saying that it was the right thing to so but everyone makes mistakes huge or small so moving forward I guess you could always keep that in mind whenever you get into another relationship?
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ageshallnot
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi. Ive been best friends with this guy for 12 years. Were literally each others double. We've always had little crushes on each other but have just never really been able to be more than that as we've both been in our own relationships at one time or another.

Anyways to cut a long story short a few weeks after I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, me and this friend ended up sleeping together a handful of times. It was so wrong of me because I knew he was still with his girlfriend of 2 years and it sounds so wrong to say but it did feel so right in the moment. It ended up progressing and because were in the same friend group we starting going out on 'dates' with our friends being there and then he suggested we progressed to just me and him. Feelings were definitely involved for me at this point and I think a little for him too.

It got to the point where we was seen out together by one of his girlfriends friends, who of course told her. His plan was to deny deny deny and just play on the fact that were close family friends, however I was so worried that the truth would come out. We were skating on very very fine ice.

He started to try and blame me. Which I totally understand I was very very much in the wrong but as was he, it takes two to tango. Honestly this is probably the most selfish thing Ive ever done, and if he had told me to stop and that he wanted to work things out with his gf, of course id stop. Anyways he kept denying these claims and I started to get harrassed by his gfs sisters. At that point I told him he needs to tell her everything or I will because id had enough of it all falling onto my shoulders. He was just as bad as me but coming out of it looking like an angel.

The next day he says he told her everything but I didn't fully believe that as she was still a little indecisive. I believe he twisted the story to save himself, she was calling me crazy, Im a liar and that Im obsessed with him and that i made it all up to hurt them. That upset me because yet again, hes come out looking like the good person when in fact, were both clearly the opposite. That evening I sent her all the screenshots I had of our inappropriate messages and pictures. I did also explain that I was not innocent either, I was also very much an awful person for doing what I did.

After sending those screenshots I got a message from him saying 'f off messaging me, you're dead to me' and blocked me on everything. Since then Ive had the worst sick, anxious feeling in my tummy. I know its a mixture of guilt - for my actions and breaking this poor girls heart aswell as well as in a way snaking my best mate, who I also was starting to catch feelings for. Although I do know it was 100% the right thing to do for her sake, Im absolutely gutted me and him cant at least be civil. I do understand his reasonings for being upset with me but he must also understand my side too surely.

Its hard because we used to talk and call every day. He's also the son of my mums best friend so again, super awkward situation. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this sick anxious feeling? I have lost my appetite and just want to stay in bed. I really want to pick myself up again. I keep telling myself that Im not the only bad guy here but its tough when I feel like Im cornered. I know i deserve to feel awful and to be tarnished for how i acted but I feel he's twisted it so that Im the person thats caused the hurt and he's the one hurting.
How can you confuse a kiss (title) with sleeping together (story)? Sounds highly dubious.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by ageshallnot)
How can you confuse a kiss (title) with sleeping together (story)? Sounds highly dubious.
Im not sure on tsr rules so wasnt 100% sure if i could put that in the title. x
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The most important thing is to learn from your mistakes and move on. You do not have time to bug yourself over someone that does not care about you anymore. You are feeling so down but your best mate is not so why should you be kicking yourself over someone that is indifferent to you anymore?

Yes you made a mistake and I am not saying that it was the right thing to so but everyone makes mistakes huge or small so moving forward I guess you could always keep that in mind whenever you get into another relationship?
Thank you! You are right, i need to stop moping about it. Ive just never experienced this anxious guilty feeling - although Ive brought it upon myself ahah x
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ageshallnot
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Im not sure on tsr rules so wasnt 100% sure if i could put that in the title. x
That's ridiculous.
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Theloniouss
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It's good that you did the right thing in the end, although finding out that your best friend is a total shitbag is never going to be the most fun experience in the world. Hopefully he'll realise you did the right thing eventually, but if not you shouldn't want him back in your life. I hope you start feeling better soon
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Theloniouss)
It's good that you did the right thing in the end, although finding out that your best friend is a total shitbag is never going to be the most fun experience in the world. Hopefully he'll realise you did the right thing eventually, but if not you shouldn't want him back in your life. I hope you start feeling better soon
Thank you for replying! Youve made me feel a bit better! Yeah Im just hoping maybe with time we can be civil again, for the sake of our friend group and family events. I really appreciate you helping me out x
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Anonymous #3
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On the real he sounds like a sociopath, he will only ever look out for himself and his image, twisting the truth to fit his way. It's almost lucky you've caught him out for what, but reassured there's a lot of humans on this rock a lot are good a lot are bad just keep looking around and you'll surround yourself with better people and you won't feel so bad anymore. He's purposely trying to make you the scapegoat to make himself feel better about it all sorry to say but it sounds like he's really lacking empathy to you.
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ANM775
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi. Ive been best friends with this guy for 12 years. Were literally each others double. We've always had little crushes on each other but have just never really been able to be more than that as we've both been in our own relationships at one time or another.

Anyways to cut a long story short a few weeks after I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, me and this friend ended up sleeping together a handful of times. It was so wrong of me because I knew he was still with his girlfriend of 2 years and it sounds so wrong to say but it did feel so right in the moment. It ended up progressing and because were in the same friend group we starting going out on 'dates' with our friends being there and then he suggested we progressed to just me and him. Feelings were definitely involved for me at this point and I think a little for him too.

It got to the point where we was seen out together by one of his girlfriends friends, who of course told her. His plan was to deny deny deny and just play on the fact that were close family friends, however I was so worried that the truth would come out. We were skating on very very fine ice.

He started to try and blame me. Which I totally understand I was very very much in the wrong but as was he, it takes two to tango. Honestly this is probably the most selfish thing Ive ever done, and if he had told me to stop and that he wanted to work things out with his gf, of course id stop. Anyways he kept denying these claims and I started to get harrassed by his gfs sisters. At that point I told him he needs to tell her everything or I will because id had enough of it all falling onto my shoulders. He was just as bad as me but coming out of it looking like an angel.

The next day he says he told her everything but I didn't fully believe that as she was still a little indecisive. I believe he twisted the story to save himself, she was calling me crazy, Im a liar and that Im obsessed with him and that i made it all up to hurt them. That upset me because yet again, hes come out looking like the good person when in fact, were both clearly the opposite. That evening I sent her all the screenshots I had of our inappropriate messages and pictures. I did also explain that I was not innocent either, I was also very much an awful person for doing what I did.

After sending those screenshots I got a message from him saying 'f off messaging me, you're dead to me' and blocked me on everything. Since then Ive had the worst sick, anxious feeling in my tummy. I know its a mixture of guilt - for my actions and breaking this poor girls heart aswell as well as in a way snaking my best mate, who I also was starting to catch feelings for. Although I do know it was 100% the right thing to do for her sake, Im absolutely gutted me and him cant at least be civil. I do understand his reasonings for being upset with me but he must also understand my side too surely.

Its hard because we used to talk and call every day. He's also the son of my mums best friend so again, super awkward situation. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this sick anxious feeling? I have lost my appetite and just want to stay in bed. I really want to pick myself up again. I keep telling myself that Im not the only bad guy here but its tough when I feel like Im cornered. I know i deserve to feel awful and to be tarnished for how i acted but I feel he's twisted it so that Im the person thats caused the hurt and he's the one hurting.
sounds like he was trying to have his cake and eat it and it eventually backfired on him.

I don't have any sympathy for him or you as you knew full well he had a gf
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