Does anyone have any advice on how to fulfill social needs without a partner?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Hey TSR,

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under.

I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is a bit difficult.

For some background, I do have 1 or 2 close friends near me but I probably only hang out with them once or twice every two weeks (they are still in university).

I have a need to socialise more than that (probably 2-3 times a week), even though I do appreciate my time spent with them. Recently, I've had an idea to do zoom calls with friends who live further away from me, who would otherwise be impractical to hang out regularly due to the distance. Even though it's not irl, I reasoned it's still a good complement to hanging out with my regular friends irl. Still need to test this idea out though.

The issue is, sometimes there's periods where noone is available and I get really lonely and depressed. It used to really affect me, but I've recently been taking depression medication, so it isn't such a big deal now. However, it still does affect me in some capacity.

Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with the feeling of being lonely/depressed when no-one is around? I find if I don't deal with it directly, I enter into some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drowning myself out with TV. Any help is appreciated.
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey TSR,

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under.

I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is a bit difficult.

For some background, I do have 1 or 2 close friends near me but I probably only hang out with them once or twice every two weeks (they are still in university).

I have a need to socialise more than that (probably 2-3 times a week), even though I do appreciate my time spent with them. Recently, I've had an idea to do zoom calls with friends who live further away from me, who would otherwise be impractical to hang out regularly due to the distance. Even though it's not irl, I reasoned it's still a good complement to hanging out with my regular friends irl. Still need to test this idea out though.

The issue is, sometimes there's periods where noone is available and I get really lonely and depressed. It used to really affect me, but I've recently been taking depression medication, so it isn't such a big deal now. However, it still does affect me in some capacity.

Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with the feeling of being lonely/depressed when no-one is around? I find if I don't deal with it directly, I enter into some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drowning myself out with TV. Any help is appreciated.
For context, usually I fulfill the social need by going to work, but I've had to take a week or two off because of medical reasons.
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Surnia
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#3
Report 1 month ago
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Learn to enjoy your own company, look for hobbies and other things to go to, and don't miss out on activities because you have no-one to go with.

I've gone on holidays, to concerts, exhibitions, out for meals, all kinds of things on my own. Doesn't mean you can't have fun just because you are flying solo.
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Kogomogo
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#4
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Join clubs and get involved in hobbies which involve other people.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
Kogomogo That's something I'm considering! I'm already in a volleyball social clib but it's a bit hard to socialise as everyone mainly has plans afterwards. I figure clubs are more of a 'long-term' solution but right now I'm wondering what's a good short-term solution (eg. like the zoom calls I'm thinking of trying with my faraway friends). Any suggestions by any chance?
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
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Sur12 I've tried to on my own actually! I've applied that same mentality and for some reason, and I think I've accepted it now, is I don't enjoy being 'outside' and doing things by myself. Not out of a social stigma, but from a genuine reflection from the feelings I have from the (many) times i've tried it.

So unfortunately I've already tried that solution but thanks for the input! Anything else you would recommend?
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